DD and low grade GCSE predictions due to anxiety What to do post 16?

[donutqueen11]

My DD is really struggling with anxiety and mental health mainly due to the pressures of year 11 and exams. It all started in yr 10 when she had a panic attack in the first yr 10 mock exam and then she suffered with anxiety in all subsequent exams and ended up hardly writing anything. Her predicted grades in year 10 therefore were 3's and 4's - however if you took the exams out and went on teacher grades you would be looking at 7's and 8's and a 9 in English. It is mocks this week and when she is in the exam room she just can't perform so her predicted grades are probably going to be too low for 6th form or a BTEC. She is so able and capable but exams freak her out.

She has no idea what to do next year. She doesn't like the sound of any BTECS, she is more than capable of A levels but I don't think anywhere will accept her.

She will probably have to do a level 1/2 course at the FE college. My husband is so *** off with the stress that the education system is causing he wants her to do nothing and we will support her and then at 18 when she can get a job she can work in a shop.

I need serious options of what she really can do. I am frustrated as is she because she is so capable of doing well but she cannot perform in exams and with rubbish predicted grades her options are very limited.

Any advice from anyone else whose children have had similar issues? Up until yr 10 she was set on either being a journalist or a lawyer before the exam anxiety hit but her confidence is just so low now she has lost all ambition to do anything because she just can't perform to the best of her ability.

Has she been assessed? Has she not been offered to take her exams in a separate room with rest breaks etc?

My son is autistic and had similar exam room stress. He ended up with much lower grades than he is capable of, but just enough to get into a Btec he loves.

What have you done to help her with her anxiety? The GP may be able to offer medication, and school should have someone who can offer coping techniques. Eg listening to music during her exams, or being in a room on her own. Don’t just accept that she has anxiety so exams are not going to work.

In all fairness school have been really good at giving her breaks and putting her at the back of the hall. She is unable to do exams in a separate room without an EHCP or a diagnosis. She has a counsellor at school now who is helping her work through her feelings and think positivly about the exams. All well and good in theory but she just clams up and feels like she can't breathe as soon as she gets near the exam paper - she admits she copes better in the smaller halls rather than the large hall so I have put a request in to say please put her in one of the smaller halls.

The GP is blaming lockdown (which I agree with) because prior to her first exam in yr 10 she had never shown any sign of anxiety at all. She says it was going to into the big hall with masses of people that did it - she panicked on the underground a few weeks back she said it was all the people being crammed together - prior to lockdown she loved the tubes!!!

Because she is not autistic or have a generalised anxiety disorder there is not much they can do. I am looking at getting her some private CBT or NLP in the new year before the real GCSES - if she ended up on a level 1/2 course I worry her ambition will be completely gone. My DH works in retail and has 1 GCSE so he says I just have to let her work in a shop and stop stressing.

I don't know anything about MH in teens but would medication be an option? I can't function at all at work sometimes due to anxiety, but can with medication.

I’m not sure that’s right re diagnosis. The school SENCO should be able to carry out a needs assessment. Have a look at this: www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/special-educational-needs/your-rights/exam-access-arrangements

She definitely doesn't need an EHCP to do her exams in a separate room, did the Senco tell you that?

There is nothing which says she cannot do her exams in a different room. I’ve been teaching a long time, in many schools, and children use smaller rooms for exams for all sorts of reasons, and some of them don’t have a diagnosis of anything or an EHCP. It’s in the school’s interest for her to get decent grades, as well as it being in her interest! Keep pushing for it.

She is unable to do exams in a separate room without an EHCP or a diagnosis

That's not true. You need an urgent meeting with the exams officer. Be very insistent - frankly that's just not good enough.

Why is she unable to use a seperate or smaller room school is telling you rubbish there were certainly ones at my daughter's school who were given it so for similar reasons. Is there anything she wants to do maybe the college environment will suit her better my dd is loving her catering course more practical, small classes, continous small assessments, and only in college to learn not all day every day.

Yes I agree with others re not needing EHCP for separate room. When I was a teacher virtually every spare room was used for single or pairs of students (such as those needing a scribe or a reader). A student I taught did all her exams in a separate room and she had no dx or EHCP or anything; she just needed that support and help.

Speak to the SENCO again and see if they can sort something out, starting with the mocks.

And go to the GP. Meds for a 16yo is a bit controversial but it sounds as though it would be worth exploring and I know of cases where it has really helped. Hope you are able to help her achieve what she can.

4s are fine, they are passes. Don't stress over 6th forms yet but BTECs would possibly suit her much better. Although most higher level BTECs have exams also. Your dh is being silly.

That's awful, I feel for your daughter. I remember going into an exam my second year at uni (was 27 at the time so older than your daughter) and totally freaking out. It was nothing to do with the exam itself, I was prepared but suddenly my full body started shaking, my breathing went funny, I felt dizzy and was sweating and my mind went completely blank. I remember looking at one of the girls beside me and she said I just had terror in my eyes. I remember just repeatedly thinking in my head 'I'm fucked, I'm fucked'. I managed somehow to keep it together and although I missed out a big chunk of what I wanted to write, I managed to pass.

I then worried that the next exam the same would happen, almost panicking about the panic. But luckily it never did. That's the thing about anxiety, it's a vicious cycle because you start to become scared to do things due to panic attacks, then the panic attacks get worse because you're scared of having a panic attack and psyche yourself up.

The only advice I can give is to encourage her to go to her exams and try her best. Go over lots of breathing techniques, what helps me is the 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell etc to bring back in the room. Tell her to wriggle her toes. Go to the toilet and run her hands under freezing cold water. Chew gum.

I believe the worst thing you can do for anxiety is start avoiding the things and situations that make you anxious. Once you do that it's game over, what's to stop you eventually one day not be able to leave the house? You can't let it take over, it's not a sign of weakness to have anxiety but it can be managed through coping techniques and medication if suitable.

I remember giving a presentation at uni and having a low level anxiety attack. It honestly took me all my might to continue standing up there when my full body and mind was screaming I need to get out of here. I was an iota away from running out of that classroom saying 'sorry I can't do this' - but I knew as soon as I did that, I would never, ever do another presentation in my life as that would be reinforcing my anxiety that I needed to flee, when there was nothing to flee from.

I really feel for your daughter but I think coping strategies and some propanalol for exam situations would be better than her not sitting exams. There's always going to be something that's causes anxiety and panic attacks if she is prone to it and you can't run from everything.

She only needs to focus on 5 including English and maths. If she gets grades 4/5 she will have options.
How many exams is she entered for?
Agree with pp about pushing for smaller room- even if it’s just for English and maths.

I agree with others that a smaller room for exam access requirements most definitely does not require an EHCP or any diagnosis. Rest breaks mihht also be useful. Contact your school's exam's officer, her Head of Year and the SENDCo to request it and explain why. They should be able to see the evidence already in her exam performance v. her in-class performance.

How is her anxiety being managed? Medication is not easy to get and usually has to be preceded by CBT or talking therapy. Contact your GP or local CAMHS for more advice on referral for this. Does her school have a counsellor as they should be able to support with strategies to manage anxiety too - it's very common and she won't be the only child in the school to need support for this.

@clary

Yes I agree with others re not needing EHCP for separate room. When I was a teacher virtually every spare room was used for single or pairs of students (such as those needing a scribe or a reader). A student I taught did all her exams in a separate room and she had no dx or EHCP or anything; she just needed that support and help.

Speak to the SENCO again and see if they can sort something out, starting with the mocks.

And go to the GP. Meds for a 16yo is a bit controversial but it sounds as though it would be worth exploring and I know of cases where it has really helped. Hope you are able to help her achieve what she can.

In his first year of college ds was prescibed propanylol for migraines. The GP said they should also have the side effect of helping his extreme anxiety and sure enough he's been 100% better since. I wish he could have had them through gcse's.

Agree with others:

• she does not need an EHCP for a separate room, though school may request a doctors letter or something (otherwise all and sundry ask for separate rooms). Given they have seen her not performing in exams they really should be pulling out the stops to assist
• propranolol helps my DD with her anxiety too.

BTECs can be done at Level 3 (5 GCSEs @grade 4/5), Level 2 (4 @grade 3) or even Level 1 (3 at grade1).

The other option of course would be an apprenticeship.

I would absolutely push for school to give her the space she needs, and also practice grounding techniques with her (such as focused breathing, or the 54321 technique).

Mental health is more important than exams.

Find a Plan A, and B and C and D so she knows there are options whatever happens.

Thank you for all your replies. The yr 11 pastoral worker and HOY have been great and really understanding. However there are so many anxious kids that if they let her do them in a separate room the hall would be empty because everyone would request separate rooms. HOY and exams officer said she isn't being violent or disruptive (basically shouting and swearing at the teachers) so she doesn't need rest breaks BUT yesterday the deputy head saw how distraught and upset she was and has now offered her rest breaks but still adamant that without an EHCP or diagnosis she can't do them in a separate room. She actually doesn't think being in a separate room would help because she says wherever she is and what ever the exam is as soon as she turns the paper over every bit of knowledge that she has is gone.

In history yesterday she wrote 3 words and the deputy head saw how distraught she was so took her out and calmed her and gave her extra time but to no avail. She revises so hard and puts so much work in but it is all for nothing because as son as she sees the paper all the information is gone. If they told her to write an essay on the Hungarian uprising in class or at home she would have no problem she just seems to have a mental block in exam conditions.

She is always so hard working but now thinks there is no point because she just can't perform in exams.

Been looking at level 1 or 2 BTECs but there is nothing that really takes her fancy.

If her anxiety is that bad you need to take her to the GP ASAP.

If she has breaks etc there is no reason she cannot be in the smaller room. Has she been assessed for an SEN? Access arrangements need to be formalised asap and established as her usual way of working,

My friend at uni was like this and was prescribed beta blockers for exams by GP

I agree, take her to the GP and see if they can prescribe something for her anxiety. She has to be able to reach her potential so a short term course of medication may benefit her greatly.

I know my Mum was prescribed something just to take her driving test, fine in the car with her instructor but a mess when it came to the test itself. It was just the pressure.

However, your DD has not experienced another room so she doesn't know for sure that she would be no better. I would definitely argue for that considering her grades outside of exams.

As this is quite a specific anxiety with an obvious trigger, I think CBT techniques would probably be effective to help her manage the anxiety. It seems a real shame for her potential to be thrown away like this.

Have you spoken to any colleges or sixth forms? If you can explain the situation, potentially with support from her teachers and examples of her class work they may be flexible if you’re showing you’re committed to helping her get to a manageable place with exams by end of A Levels.

I’d also suggest a BTEC/A Level combo to lessen exam pressures.

For her anxiety definitely a GP trip as PP have said, but I wonder if you’ve tried rescue remedy with her? I used to go to bits for music exams, get so overwhelmed and not be able to do it and rescue remedy was a real saviour.

If it reassures you any, DC went through similar in Yr11. Went from being very high achieving to just passing 5 GCSE's.

They then did a BTEC level 3 in creative media for 2 years, which was all practical and equivalent to 3 A Levels, and now have decided that they are ready to do A Levels and think about Uni, and so are doing A Levels at college.