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Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

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Original poster

DD is quitting A levels (yr13) with a month left

19 replies

Needahand42 · 12/04/2021 10:32

Without giving too much backstory, DD has really struggled with her A levels and her mental health through it - I think she'd have struggled a little anyway but lockdown/covid has added to it x100. We've been doing what we can to support her and thought she was going to limp through the assessments that have replaced the exams and at least it would all be over. But this weekend she basically hit the wall and feels she can't go on at all or she'll end up losing it completely and getting suicidal or something. Her assessments start this week and carry on until mid May and she doesn't feel there's any way she can go any further even with it just being a month, she feels done.

We're obviously supporting her, if she can't do it then so be it, and have helped her email college to say she's dropping out as of now, but what happens now, especially with arrangements still being all over the place. Does she get As's from last years 'estimated grades'?

OP posts:

LawnFever · 12/04/2021 10:34

Obviously support her but at this stage having done so much work could college put the assessments on hold, keep the work she’s done and have the option to come back to it next year when she might feel more up to it?

Floralnomad · 12/04/2021 10:38

Speak to the college and also get her an appointment with her dr ASAP as you may be able to put in some kind of medical exemption / explanation .

Original poster

Needahand42 · 12/04/2021 10:39

Waiting for an email back from her tutor but that would be good, I even asked her if she'd be able to 'do' the assessments and literally just write her name and 'don't know' to all the questions so she'd get fails and have the option to resit next year if she wants but she doesn't feel able to do that. It would be good if the option to redo next year was at least open.

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 12/04/2021 10:41

I would be concerned that the school will not award her A-level grades because she hasn’t sat the assessments. Essentially she is opting out of sitting them as opposed to being unable to sit them and it would not be fair on the other pupils who may also prefer their results to based on mocks or whatever.

Theimpossiblegirl · 12/04/2021 10:43

Your poor DD, they've all been through such a lot. They may have enough evidence to grade her on past assessments, definitely contact the college and gp.

Original poster

Needahand42 · 12/04/2021 10:43

Oh, she's not expecting any A levels at all, she's expecting that this means she'll get nothing from this year, I'm just wondering if she'll be able to go away with the AS levels she got estimated grades for last year as you can normally do that can't you, but that's in normal years when you'd actually do AS exams.

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 12/04/2021 10:44

You don’t mention if she has seen the doctor? Rather than dropping out, medication may help.

Original poster

Needahand42 · 12/04/2021 10:46

She's estimated E's this year anyway even though she got B and C's on last year's 'AS levels' so I don't think she really minds if she gets fails/nothing or E's from this year, it's more me trying to find out if she's 'entitled' to anything. I'm trying to get her to let me make an appt with GP but she doesn't want to speak to 'a stranger'.

OP posts:

rainbowthoughts · 12/04/2021 10:48

I don't know the answer to the question but I just wanted to say thank you for putting her mental health first. A lot of parents lose sight of what's really important. It isn't A levels

Original poster

Needahand42 · 12/04/2021 10:55

@rainbowthoughts

I don't know the answer to the question but I just wanted to say thank you for putting her mental health first. A lot of parents lose sight of what's really important. It isn't A levels

Thank you, that means a lot. I'm privately really sad she's not getting them as I think she's brainy enough (I'm bound to say that I know) but she's doesn't handle pressure and organisation at all well which is a major part of doing then, but that's my hopes and I'm keeping them well away from her because her mental health is much more vital.

OP posts:

Seeline · 12/04/2021 11:00

Was she actually entered for AS levels last year? If so she would have hte certificates from the exam boards by now.

AS levels have proper syllabus and exams like A levels and GSCEs. She won't get anything for just having done half an A level course.

Original poster

Needahand42 · 12/04/2021 11:03

Thanks - she was meant to have proper exams last year but they got cancelled, she got formal grades in the post (based on teacher grades because of covid) but no certificates so I wasn't sure if it was usual to have an AS level after the first year.

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 12/04/2021 11:04

Are you in Wales? They still do standalone AS exams so she should be able to cash in CAGs the same as she would have been able to cash in exam grades.

I'm a bit concerned that she is at the point of dropping out of college but hasn't seen a doctor. Have the college been supporting her? Has she accessed other agencies?

Original poster

Needahand42 · 12/04/2021 11:38

Yes, sorry, we are in Wales so hopefully she can cash those in at least. I think the college probably isn't even aware she's been struggling, although I think they could have possibly been more proactive based on the downward change in grades. DD is fairly introverted anyway but the poor mental health has made her really shrink into herself, she's very open with us but doesn't want to talk to anyone outside the house about it however much we encourage her - not extended family, friends, college, GP, counsellor, no-one. I'm very gently putting my foot down now that she has to at least choose between speaking to GP or counsellor because we can't take it all on 'in house' but that in itself has been a struggle.

OP posts:

Original poster

Needahand42 · 12/04/2021 11:40

The lockdown has made that so hard as all her lessons have been online, on teams with cameras off so there's been almost zero communication really besides lessons, lots of them pre-recorded, and work left on teams.

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 12/04/2021 11:47

That sounds really difficult if you have been managing her mental health by yourself. It really does sound like you need external support with this, she is ill and needs to see a professional. That may be a tack you need to take with her too - if she broke her leg she wouldn't be expecting you to deal with it.

Young Minds are an excellent source of support that may be worth you checking out youngminds.org.uk/find-help/for-parents/

SeasonFinale · 12/04/2021 19:42

If she has been signed off sick then they may be able to give a grade but not if she is just opting out. Has she had a medical diagnosis at all which could be forwarded to school?

lu9months · 22/04/2021 18:57

@needahand42 just sending sympathy. my 16 yr old year 11 son has done the same wrt gcses 2 weeks ago. he has been anxious for some time but things have come to a head and he is no longer able to get into school for final assessments. the government advice on gsces does allow other evidence to be used for the final grade, and luckily he has done most of his mocks, so im hoping he will get ok grades, if not the excellent ones he was predicted. do seek urgent help for your daughter, and get a dr to write to the school explaining that the is too mentally unwell to sit the exams - she is not 'opting out' she is unwell . its very hard to watch, and hard not to panic about their futures, but ultimately the only thing that is important at this stage is getting your daughter well again.

saucermilk · 28/04/2021 22:42

You sound like you are doing a great job.
I can still feel the relief when my dad said I could drop out of uni. (Obv I didn't need his actual permission!)
My parents must have been so disappointed.
However, the strong unconditional love they provided at that time and throughout my life meant that I went on to be successful in a different area.
Don't underestimate the strength your love will give her and there's lots of hope for her future career when the time and path is right.
Your belief that she will be ok and that this isn't the end of the world will be a strong foundation for her.

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