Durham 2020

[nodtik]

Eldest is considering applying to Durham for entry next September.

We are not rich - we both work in the public sector, but have heard that Durham is only for those privately educated and or Oxbridge rejects.

Eldest is bright, but state school educated. UCAS predicted grades are A*AA and got full marks on their EPQ.

We don't want them to feel second rate and out of it, because of lack of background.

Neither of us went to university.

They are also looking at
Exeter
Bath
Sheffield
Leeds
Birmingham
Bangor
Southampton

What do the knowledgeable people of Mumsnet think,

School think that Durham is fine, but I've only heard negatives about it!

Thank you 😊

You've not said where you live or what subjects. Of the places you've mentioned, I would say Sheffield or Leeds would be good. Good universities, interesting cities ((especially Leeds) and people from all backgrounds. Southampton is a bit boring as a city (though great for history and I imagine marine related degrees). Bangor is a bit isolated. Exeter and Bath are both nice cities and good universities but expensive to live in I think. Birmingham I'd say the same applies as Leeds and Sheffield.

St Andrews, Newcastle and Edinburgh certainly have reputations for being full of privately educated (southern) English kids, I am not sure about Durham's demographic these days, in my day it definitely was for Oxbridge rejects. But my cousin's daughter went there from a state grammar school and her parents are not wealthy.

But if you can tell us what subjects and where you live (assuming you want to avoid very long journeys) that would help.

Applying to Durham for what though? One of my DC’s is there, likes certain things, doesn’t like others. Go and visit.

We live in Kent, Sports Science is the course and state Grammar School - all boys!

Thanks xx

I went to Durham - first generation to go to university studied history/politics, state school educated spent my early years in a council estate. I made lovely friends and worked my backside off, the city is beautiful and the quality of education was fantastic. Left uni to do a law conversion course with a fully paid ride from my future employers. There is an element of elitism in parts but I found this to be the minority not the majority. The stereotypes you are talking about have been making the rounds for years.

I also had a place at Oxford - I turned it down. I'm from the north and wanted to be closer to home.

As I understand it Durham is actually tougher to get in than oxbridge - you can only apply to oxford or Cambridge, a large percentage of those who apply to oxbridge apply to Durham so they have generally have a greater number of applicants.

Go and check the place out, go with an open mind and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Based on our visit last summer, I didn't feel that it was as private school dominated as people say. DD is applying for maths and 80% of current students are state educated. BUT we did feel that it has a slightly old fashioned vibe and some of the colleges felt very like overgrown public schools. Compulsory meals in hall, lots of emphasis on extra curricular activity and being a valued member of the college community. DD was a bit put off but others love it for the strong sense of community. Go and visit!

I think most colleges require gowns at formals, but there are a couple that don’t. The collegiate system has its merits and drawbacks. Catered accommodation means you have no worries about feeding yourself, you can just concentrate on other things!

I think you really need to take them to visit. I went to Durham nearly twenty years ago (state-educated) and there was certainly a vocal minority of public-school kids but that’s just life, really - it’s pretty pointless (IMHO) to try and narrow down your life choices based on that sort of thing. It’s good for kids to meet people from a wider range of background and arguably they might get actually meet a broader range of people at somewhere like Dirham than elsewhere. I’m not articulating myself very well here but basically it was an amazing place went years ago and I suspect it’s probably just as great now. I went to one of the largest colleges and adored it. We didn’t have downed formal dinners - just suit and tie/coco tail dress formals once a term, that you could opt in or out of. There was a real mix of people at my college and my lifelong friends were made there. I wouldn’t hesitate to encourage my kids to go there but like any university it’s horses for courses.

Terrible grammar and spelling on that post - not very Durham-educated at all! 😂 sorry...

I went to Durham as local with a comprehensive education. Most of my fellow students were perfectly nice, it certainly didn't depend on their education. Oxford reject is insulting to everyone who worked very hard to get to Durham and really pisses me off.

We are booked on the open day on Friday.

And am really encouraged by what I've read on these posts. The grades to get in are high and I'm not taking away anything from those who chose to study there, with my 'Oxbridge rejects' comment. Only repeating what others have said any why our child won't fit in.

Anyone who studies hard deserves praise.

I have shared the posts with my son and he is very keen to see the place for himself, as am I.

I like the idea of it being traditional and having high expectations of the students. We were just concerned that he wouldn't fit in and potentially feel a bit second rate.

It looks like a wonderful city and the university certainly has a great reputation and that's important for post university prospects.

Thank you to all those who have taken the time to post.

Any further advice on colleges would be welcome 🙏 He seems to be infused about catered or self catering at the moment

*not fussed over catered / self catered xx

OP, my DD attended Durham for a maths degree. She was state educated at a bog standard comprehensive.
DD is autistic and suffers from life threatening depression (including two attempted hangings).
The pastoral care at Durham was absolutely fantastic. The college system means there is a small family atmosphere within the college, and students are known and cared for personally, not just numbers in an anonymous crowd.
DD’s college tutor drove her to A and E in her own car when necessary and waited with her to be seen. She phoned me at home 200 miles away to reassure me that she had set up a discreet spy network of students to let her know immediately if DD didn’t appear at a meal or lecture, so the tutor could check her safety. She helped arrange for DD to have a year out without financial penalty, to help her mental health, and fought for her to be awarded an honours degree when she came back, despite continuing illness.
Durham is known for its academic excellence- but I want to sing their praises for pastoral care, which I think is equally important. And also their kind and lovely porter at St Mary’s, who showed DD pics of his herd of goats to cheer her up, and the old Labrador dog who sat in hall and helped comfort homesick students!

I found my course tutor massively supportive, great support from the student uni team too and the counselling service was top notch.

I did a combined degree so had contact with lots of departments and all were open and welcoming but all very different.

I was Cuths so a less formal college and a large one. The only people I met who really wanted a particular college were those who were Castle. I had a friend who was Collingwood and they were fairly evangelical about how amazing it was.

Collingwood is very sport orientated.

Don’t let anyone let you feel second-rate. If you’ve worked hard for a place you’re as good as anyone else. Sure there are people there with massive privilege, but don’t let it stop you.

A few generations ago members of my family were a few miles from Durham working in the steelworks. Now my DC will sit in the cathedral in a cap and gown. Go for it.

Babdoc what a great testimonial! I hope your daughter is doing well.

Babdoc 💐for you. Must have been horrendous for you all. I hope she’s getting better. X

My DD is going back shortly for her final year at Durham. She's in Collingwood and loves it. The friendliness of the place hits you immediately. There are no gowns and it all feels informal. She does fall into your stereotype but many of her friends do not. No-one should feel that any university is "not for the likes of us".

That said, the most important factor in choosing a university is the course. One half of my DD's is great, the other less so. But even with that knowledge I think she'd have chosen to go.

As others have said, what a great testimonial Babdoc.

Thanks others too for their replies.

We attended the open day yesterday and were really impressed. It was not what we were expecting at all.

I don't think we could have been made to feel more welcome. It's most definitely a beautiful city and the university is located well within in and have superb facilities.

We did not expect that the college system would be something that my son would warm too, but he did. It's really did sound like it could be a great system. The pastoral care is clearly a strength of the university. We looked round three, all different but all with something to offer;

St John's
St Mary's
Castle

Out of the three, son liked Castle the least as it was the most formal. However as it was made clear there was something for everyone.

Think it's now his number one, my fears were totally unfounded. Durham could well be the right university for him after all. It just goes to show that rumours and supposition can be dangerous and you really do need to go and view these places yourself.

I am glad we went.

Thank you again for all your encouragement! Let's hope they offer him a place now!

My DH was very impressed with the emphasis on pastoral care (he went with DD in the summer). She has applied to Collingwood because it seemed to be very state school friendly with great facilities for the sport she does. Don't forget that a lot of people from the north put Durham down instead of Oxbridge because it's in the north and they don't want to travel south. I think that guarantees a great cross section of students itself.

Hi @nodtik
My son started Durham Uni today and we are not rich. The city is beautiful, the people are so so friendly. I am over the moon my son chose to go here.

@SavageFenty thank you for taking the time to update!

So to hear that all went well!

He's applied now and has chosen St Mary's so we will have to wait and see if they offer? And also what he gets in his A levels! He will be gutted if he doesn't get in!

Stressful this parenting lark! Xx

Hope your son enjoys Durham Savage - we live there and DH works at the university. DD and I were commenting this weekend that the freshers all look so much older than she does (just started her A-levels) - either there is a lot of growing up in the next two years or she'll be a baby face

Here's to great student days in Durham and elsewhere!

All great to hear. My DD has just finished a week as a "frep " freshers' rep. She had a great time but was exhausted. The freps look after the freshers in college, organise activities, show them where everything is etc, and safely escort those back to their rooms who are a bit worse for wear. (freps are dry for a fortnight!) It's organised by the students. I heard that one college had a sign up saying "Parents don't worry. We'll look after them".

Thank you so much for starting this thread nodtik. As another parent of state school educated DCs it’s reassuring to have the elitist label put into perspective. Most of all, it’s great to hear such positive things about the pastoral care. It must have been a comfort to know that there was good support Babdoc and the frep initiative sounds wonderful bach what a lovely thing for your DD to take part in. DD will be a long way from home if she goes to Durham (part of the attraction for her!) so reading about so many good experiences is very helpful.

Suki we would be travelling from one extreme of the country to the other. They have given DD a reduced offer, chopping 1 grade off each subject if she makes it her firm choice or knocking off a single grade if it's her insurance. She's waiting to hear from her first choice, but will leap at the offer if she is rejected.