Year 12 #2: Carols, commutes & a few stocking fillers

[Stickerrocks]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/3410431-year-12-1-gcses-are-sooo-last-year

Only one university within 30 miles of us and it’s an ex college of HE rather than an ex poly even. Go to 60 miles and there are half a dozen RG and a few more. No way will DS3 stay at home, unlike DS2 who is at the local college for his HNC.

DS3 did his first paid maths tutoring (tutorial?) today. I went along as none of us had met before. It went really well. A really nice, keen Y9 lad and DS3 just got stuck in. Next week he’ll go straight there after school. I was really rather proud of him.

Well done to your DS3 EllenJanesthickerknickers

Is he expected to plan the lessons and provide the materials? DS2 is interested in providing maths tutoring (he already helps people online informally).

Well done Ellen DS, you can let him know that DD2 has found this a lucrative and enjoyable pursuit at Uni. She is getting paid for on line tutoring but also for going in to schools and doing things she would have happily volunteered for for free 😀😀. B’ham (but I’m guessing most big uni s) have a centralised work and volunteering service. A lot of opportunities are geared at 2nd or 3 rd years but because she’s got some experience built up like your DS she s been able to get in to a few this year.

I think that's admirable, EllenJane. I wish Ds was able to do something similar.

Off-topic question that i'd be grateful for your views on:

I have a friend who lives in the EU and wants to move to the UK to join her DH who recently emigrated here to work for the NHS. She is 50 and they are childless.

She told me this morning that she'd wait a year or two if it wasn't for Brexit. She thinks she needs to arrive here before 29/3 which will create all sorts of difficulties, like selling their flat and re-homing their pets. Plus, obviously, giving up her job (and she needs the salary).

Is she right, under any scenario of how things might go in westminster in the next few weeks?

Hmm very good question but sorry whistl I don’t know the answer.

I'm thinking:
Option 1: Theresa May's deal - she can move here any time up to Dec-20

Option 2: Remain - she can move whenever is best for her

Option 3: No deal - it would be easiest to come here before 29/3, but there is always the family reunification visa route, although that might come with restrictions on working. Also there's the issue of the min family income - her DH is grade 6 in the NHS, so I don't know if that is above or below the £££ limit.

Option 4: Almost any other deal with the EU (eg Norway + etc), then she can probably move here whenever

Option 5: A 2nd referendum. That would mean an extension to Article 50, and so she'd probably get another few months to make the move as it takes several months to organise a referendum (esp when the question is not even agreed!).

Maybe under option 3, she's doing the right thing, but even then it seems unlikely that option 3 will happen and even if it does, the new visa system would be so draconian that she would not be allowed to work.

So, on balance, she is highly likely to be able to take her time, wait to see what happens and decide once the UK knows where we are headed and her DH has had a bit longer to see if he likes being here??? But what if that is bad advice?!

What a conundrum for your friend. Not sure what the correct answer is and I suspect, there isn't one as no one knows what will happen after March! I don't think there is any benefit of arriving in the UK before 29 March. Has she read the visa pages? www.gov.uk/uk-family-visa
Her best bet, I think, is to apply for a family visa now and see what happens. Common sense would indicate that husband-and-wife wouldn't be separated, especially if one is holding a key-skill job?

EllenJanesthickerknickers Good on your DS! What is the going rate for tutoring? DS1 was moaning about his PT job (I mentioned this before) but has now adopted a much better attitude since Christmas and is more willing to go in to work - might have something to do with the numbers in his bank account! He's now doing another hour teaching music to a strings group at a local music school which he really enjoys.

All good on this side - I think DS1 needed the Christmas break to just rest and relax a little. Seems a lot happier this term.

242Mummy that's a good link. Thank you. My heart stopped though when i saw one of the conditions:
"you’ve been living together in a relationship for at least 2 years when you apply"

That's already not true - she's been living at home and he's been living here in NHS accommodation

DS2 has booked to go on an open day in half term, at a Cambridge college. My father has offered to drive him there and back (he attended that college in the 1960s and is interested to have a look round).

DS2 has not yet ruled out applying to Oxbridge. At the moment he prefers the structure of the course at Oxford, and he has attended an open day there. He wants to attend an open day at Cambridge before he removes it from his application shortlist.

No insight for your friend whistl. Difficult decision though.

Will be nice for your son to have a granddad grandson day TheFirstOHN. DH thoroughly enjoyed the open day we spent in Cambridge with DS - he has ended up at the same college as his dad 28 years later, and is using DH's gown!

@PandaG and @TheFirstOHN - I love the family connections. Both DH and I are Oxbridge rejects but DFIL (Cambridge) and DMIL (Oxford) would love their DGC to go to 'their'' place. They both still have really strong connections to their colleges (50+ years on!).

I actually think DS1 would be attracted to DMIL's college as it has a good reputation for the course he's interested in and a friend's DS is there (2nd year) and having a great time. It's not one of the 'big' names.

That said I think Oxbridge is a long shot. The applications thread makes it look near impossible. Good to have a shot but DS1 would be very happy with Durham, Bristol, York etc. He's just been accepted on a 3 day residential at Manchester in July - they seem to have a very good chemistry course.

DS had no intention of applying to his Dad's college, but we wanted a wander round to reminisce, and he came with us in between open day stuff. I think his words were 'oh shit, I think I've fallen in love!'. DH is more than a little wistful when we drop him off! He has the only identical room to DH's first year room (which is now a reading room) in the entire college (except his has en suite fitted in a cupboard now!).

Oxbridge not on DD's radar though...very different character!

Agree Sandy good to have a shot. DD2 thought she was a long shot too and was somewhat surprised to get an offer, but it did her confidence the world of good to just be considered of the calibre to apply, especially after a difficult time at early secondary. I've been reading the application threads with interest and been surprised how many DC and parents seem to be shocked and disappointed at rejections - surely they know the odds are against them and anyone applying should do so with that knowledge otherwise it could be a painful experience. Its also interesting (although may be my incorrect observations and I may be being unfair) that those with rejections often seem to be those that thought they were dead certs.

Another observation is how many applicants are children and grandchildren of Oxbridge graduates - but I guess that's largely down to genes and therefore actually unsurprising when you think about it.

talking of days out for open days, I acted as driver, and although some see it as a pain and not necessary I really enjoyed it and it provided valuable time to chat about choices and plans and other more general stuff that we didn't always get time for other wise in the midst of busy sixth form life (and competing with DDDs friends and phone !!)

I'm really curious to look around universities but I think DH has agreed to take on helping DS with this.

I may have had a bit of a rant about how much I was doing around the house, organising our lives etc and this was the unexpected outcome! Now I just have to work out how to let them get on with it without me interfering

Re tutoring, DS3 has talked to his head of maths who has kindly given him the course outline/topic timetable for Y9. DS has provided an exercise book and has borrowed an old Y9 text book from my school so he can get some different examples to the class text book. He made his own worksheet for the first tutorial, worked through it with the tutee and was surprised when it was finished in half an hour! The tutee has shared his maths homework login with DS3 as well so DS can tailor the session to help his understanding, but without helping with the homework. It’s a learning curve for him. He’s helping 1:1 in school once a week but with materials provided by the teacher.

Going rate around here for a ‘proper’ qualified tutor is around £30 for an hour. DS is getting £10 which is fair for someone with enthusiasm but no experience. My friend’s DD gets £15/hour. DS3 is happy with £10, it equals his pocket money so he feels rich, and he wants to be a maths teacher, so it’s beneficial to him in more ways than financially.

The relationship between them will hopefully be slightly different to an adult tutor and pupil, more like a helpful role model/older friend. They are at the same school so may see each other around. DS3 will happily high five him.

Re Oxbridge, I was chatting at my school about offers. It’s a high performing grammar school and usually sends 40 odd to Oxbridge. This year the teachers seem a bit surprised at the students who have been given offers vs those who haven’t. Cambridge in particular. Some really bright students haven’t succeeded and other, more confident but maybe less stellar students have received offers. It’s possible the lack of AS levels and dependency more on entrance exams have shaken things up a bit.

That's interesting re: offers. I just thought the universities would revert to what they did before AS levels

That was entrance exams, wasn’t it? 4th term in sixth form, unless you could afford a gap year, then 7th term.

Lots (and lots) of students this year at my school passed the exams and got an interview it seems, but those who got offers were ‘surprising’ in many cases. Some obviously shone at interview.

That seems to reflect the chat on the other thread. But I guess we don’t know whether those selected based on interview performance are simply those more confident and ‘better at interviews’ in general or, as you would hope, those students who have a real interest and depth of ability in their chosen subject in comparison to students that may be high achieving in terms of a stars all round but may not have been able to engage so well in a narrow element of their subject. I think and hope the admissions tutors and entrance tests are able to differentiate

I do think there are a number of very high achieving students that pick a subject and Oxbridge because it’s what they think they should do and/or are advised to do given their academic standing and their perception of Oxbridge as being the best - without thinking through what it means to study a subject there and why they want to do it. The interview process is meant to mirror the tutorial system and the admission folk are supposedly selecting those who they think will enjoy and thrive on that experience and who they will enjoy teaching. They not be the students with the best gcse s and a level predictions.

EllenJanesthickerknickers I'm as impressed with his preparation as I am with the tutoring; it shows initiative and maturity.

DS2 helps in a Y10 Maths class at school (thankfully not DS3's set!) and helps GCSE students on Discord with their Maths, Physics and Chemistry, but it's reactive (they bring a problem they are stuck on or a concept they don't understand) rather than proactive.

Ellen and Thefirst I'm impressed too - but I'm seeing big changes in DS this year - perhaps they are growing up. Things the girls would do and I never dreamt DS would he is now starting to do himself. I am having to reassess what I thought he was capable of in some areas.

Realising too that although A level requirements will be lower for DS taking the apprenticeship route, he will most certainly be interviewed and probably have to attend corporate type assessment days - I have no idea how he will fair ?!