Year 12 #2: Carols, commutes & a few stocking fillers

[Stickerrocks]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/3410431-year-12-1-gcses-are-sooo-last-year

abitofastate I used to feel the same way at his age - I found it difficult at this time of year that everyone around me seemed happy and joyful whereas I felt so desperately low (due to undiagnosed depression). Please reassure him that despite outward appearances, many others are hiding similar thoughts.

I would ask/expect him to do the following each day:

• Shower and put on actual clothes (not pyjamas or onesie).
• Eat one meal at a regular time with others.
• Leave the house once (even if it's just a walk around the block).

You could give him the list of family activities, and ask him to pick which ones he will commit to joining ("None of them" should not be an option).

Sorry folks life has been stupidly hectic and I haven't been on here for ages. Thanks for the new thread.

Good to hear all DC are doing well and congrats to Sosts DGD.

DD has had her knee surgery, they removed a 1.5 inch piece of bone from her knee that has been floating around in there since the dislocation 18 months ago. Eww. Good news is she is weight bearing and not on crutches which amazing. We were told we should expect crutches for 6 weeks so this is a blessing. Of course now she is itching to get back to dance so I feel like I may have to tie her down.

Sixth Form going well - got her first report, she took past papers and got A,B,C and outstanding attitude to learning.

She also received the Outstanding Contribution to Sixth Form award for this term. According to her friends this is the first time a student who didn't attend the school in years 7-11 has won it.

Merry Christmas to all - I'm still at work, DD and DH are at home eating their body weight in cocktail sausages!

Thanks thefirst that's really helpful and makes me feel we aren't doing too badly! The most difficult is getting him to go out every day. He is very non confrontational, but will always do things " in a bit" .... and then it's too late.

Since finding out about the self harm I have felt very insecure about what I should say for fear of making things worse, which I guess isn't helpful either.

What would anyone suggest about getting up/ sleeping in? He has trouble sleeping (although plays it down, so I don't really know how bad it is). He has never been a late sleeper until the end of this summer, which now I realise was linked to depression. So now I'm wondering how long is reasonable to let him sleep and what is actually unhelpful

My FB memories have reminded me that we watched Scrooged 4 years ago and Elf 7 years ago. They need to make more Christmas films!

Happy Christmas Eve to everyone. ⛄️🎄[santa] Good luck to those hosting lots of family. It’ll be a quiet one here, just me and the boys. Lots of wrapping to do today. Why do I always leave it last minute?

Oh, I missed this page when I posted!

I let both my older DSs sleep in in the holidays but wake them up around midday and expect them up by 1pm. Breakfast merges into lunch. I allow the occasional PJ day as well. This is in young men without any depression, although DS2 has ASD and doesn’t socialise at all, he won’t leave the house except to buy fizzy drinks at the local Tesco. He does get dressed and takes himself off for a shower.

TBH I don’t really know what’s for the best. My boys aren’t particularly NT so what’s suitable for them is rather different to the norm. I think TheFirst’s list is pretty reasonable.

@abitofastate - sending best wishes to you and your DS. It's a very difficult time of year if you're not feeling happy, I think everyone (myself included) has a nagging feeling that everyone else is having a better time or is feeling happier.

We're all feeling very relaxed. We've accepted an offer on our house and have narrowed it down to two possible houses. We can afford both so after Christmas we'll be negotiating to see which one we can get for the best price as they're round the corner from each other.

In my head I'm already thinking about next Christmas when we'll have loads of room for a big family Christmas and beautiful fireplaces with holly and mistletoe. Maybe we'll even be in for Easter!

I'm thinking about 'Trading Places' as a Christmas film for tonight but 'Die Hard' might work as well. 'Gremlins' is definitely a Christmas film and my DC liked it. They were, of course, scathing about the special effects!

Very best wishes to all and especially to those unwell in whatever form. Unusually quiet one here too with no extended family here this year - dc all exhausted and ready for a rest.

Trading Places is a good shout. Die Hard was last year. We’ve done Gremlins and, yes, the special effects were commented on. We watched Highlander recently, omg the special effects were truly terrible!

Good luck with the houses, sandy.

Abitifastate- I completely get your DS. Xmas (and bdays) are a really difficult time because you know you are supposed to feel happy and when you don't, it just makes everything so empty and hollow. I think it goes back to when you were a kid and everything was so exciting that you now feel there is something missing and therefore there is something wrong with you 🙁

The forcing yourself to get up and dressed and to take part is a good step (lie to yourself until you start to believe the lie?). As for sleeping- please let him sleep, unless you can give him something to get up for.....a reason. If he has spent miserable sleepless hours and then when he finally gets to sleep someone wakes him up to be miserable again must be so frustrating!

Do you have young children in the family? If yes, they are a godsend.....he could get involved in making the time special for them and their happy little faces makes it all worthwhile (pass the parcel, treasure hunts, baking and decorating cookies, making elf hats etc). Same applies for with doing something for elderly or lonely people (although they probably wouldn't want to do the same activities hahaha). It stops you being so self obsessed and realising just how lucky you are to have such wonderful supportive people around you.

....board games and charades are also a good shout. Something to keep your mind occupied preferably something that makes you laugh. Plonking yourself in front of a games console/phone just makes it worse in my experience. Watching a family Xmas movie can also be soul destroying

Wow - that was a depressing post. Sorry chaps!!!!!!!

Thanks bpisok! Unfortunately no small children in the family. It's just our family of four this year. He is usually quite a fan of charades at Christmas,so hopefully will still be this year!

With the sleeping in I think my dilemma is that he is awake and just staying in bed and feeling gradually worse. The problem is I don't actually know if he is awake or not....

He has really gone off Christmas films, although DD did force him to watch home alone last night. It's amazing what she can get away with!

My vote is always for Love Actually. Oh Emma Thomson....

I've spent the afternoon collecting Christmas gifts from clients who haven't given me info for their tax returns yet. DH & DD have been "overseas" in the pub with family. Now they are wrapping my Christmas presents, so I'm sitting here with a large glass of wine, banned from the kitchen & hoping that the joint of Hammond is roasting nicely. I did the ILs yesterday and now It's just the 3 of us until we head West on Thursday.

Merry Christmas to all my chums here, old & new.

Gammon, not Philip Hammond.

Jufus your dd is very brave - glad the op went well and hope she makes a very speedy recovery!
Abitofastate sending best wishes to you and DS - I think Christmas must be particularly hard.
We don't make a big fuss over Christmas but the tradition of DH and DS2 making mince pies together is still going strong - smells delicious! And I've had a nice chat with DS1 while they're doing it.

Jufus I think you are justified in tying her to the sofa. Great news on the award as well.

Actual lol at Philip Hammond instead of gammon!!!

I'm a bottle of Prosecco and 2 mulled sloe gins down.

Done everything. Fed kids. Watched Vic Wood (RIP how bloody dare she die and not make any more genius tv for me?) now on to reindeer. DSs are doing god knows what upstairs. DH arrives home tomorrow about 9am in time for stockings and breakfast chocolate.

I get SAD, past years have been really hard. I hired a light box a couple of years, made a huge difference. Really recommend. Then joined a gym and found the exercise endorphins helped even more with the depression (and SAD as a by product) My heart is with your DC who are struggling. I only realised aged 40 how much I suffered during the dark months.

Merry Christmas to you all, wish you peace and joy and happy families and unburnt dinners xx

Happy Christmas!

Merry Christmas, one and all, it's officially the 25th! Having a wonderful time with family who have flown in from overseas. Thinking of all who are working hard for us throughout the holidays and those who are not having the best time at the moment. May we all have a better 2019!

Happy Christmas everyone!!!!

Hope everyone's day has been wonderful as mine has been. Here's to the new yearwine may you all have health and love.
I had to dish up 4 different starters ( soup, sushi, prawn cocktail and garlic mushrooms all with homemade rolls) then 3 different meats none of which was turkey as no one really likes it for the main along with traditional trimmings, then 3 different desserts, ( homemade hot chocolate fudge cake, Xmas pudd and dairy free ice cream also homemade) then cheeseboard. After that lot everyone was so stuffed there was no inclination for arguments be it brexit or sibling rivalry! Stuff 'em silly and then peace! Great plan!!

Sostenueto you had even more dishes than we did - totally agree about food leading to great contentment as DS1 took one look at his plate and said it was all his favourite food in one go! (Toad in the hole, roast chicken breast, roast potatoes, parsnips, broccoli and carrots).
We are taking a load of food down to grandparents today. - I am starting to feel like the Very Hungry Caterpillar did after his binge and longing for nice green leaves, so the food haul includes salad!

Merry Christmas to all of you

Sost your feast sounds amazing. And a bit exhausting! I hope you are enjoying a rest today and letting the family spoil you.

We had a good day. I'm glad I got dd a few extra bits as she really loved them and she didnt get much to open from anyone else.

We have finished with all family visits now and today is just for relaxing, eating leftovers and maybe a walk later. What are you all doing?

Merry Christmas to all. We had a lovely chill day yesterday. Rather than the normal walk I’m going to be ferrying dd2 and DS to see friends as they made spur of the moment arrangements when wishing friends happy Christmas yesterday. But delighted to see them getting out with friends so happy to do it.

Merry Christmas too. Just the 3 of us here yesterday after visiting family at the weekend and heading West tomorrow. Nice l7nch, a few surprise presents and a very happy & chilled DD.