How to Help DD Decide on A levels etc.

[RockinHippy]

Just that really.

Other than going to one particular 6th form college, DD is now in a complete flap about what she wants to study/do with her life after GCSEs.

This is the kid who has wanted to study medicine since she was about 7yrs old, but a complete crisis of confidence & a GCSE year with a science teacher who she didn't gel with & we were concerned about too. Lead to DD dropping triple science as it meant she could switch classes. This has helped her enjoyment of science again as she loves her new teacher.

But asking what she wants to do for A levels has her practically having a nervous breakdown. We've had everything thrown at us from forensics, teaching, nursery work, to tattooing. Now she's insisting that she wants to do something creative, preferably tattooing. I've tried explaining that tattooing isn't an option, as where she definitely has creative talent, she lost interesting in drawing, so she just hasn't practiced enough & isn't skilled enough to be a tattooist & she doesn't want to put the effort in practicing either.

She dropped all arts subjects bar photography for GCSEs, so I'm not sure where that leaves her for doing creative A-levels, especially as we are not sure she will do brilliantly in Photography, she has talent for it, but is as stubborn as a mule at times about doing things her way & we were concerned that she wasn't putting the right kind of effort in for her mock exam, we still don't know the results of that one, but she often refuses to edit photos as she disagrees with it etc

It all feels a bit like throw anything at us to shut up us up asking, whilst she continues to stick her head in the sand & panic.

We had similar issues with GCSEs, so at least in part it's her anxiety to blame, but she's going to have to decide soon & I just can't get her to talk about it sensibly. Seems the careers thing at school wasn't much help either, but getting anything out of her is like getting blood out of a stone, so who knows.

She is very bright, but health problems do slow her down a bit & the anxiety over her mocks & it's affect in her grades was a big worry, especially by the end of the week when she'd literally had no sleep for a week & sat exams in that state. Maths for example she didn't do as well as expected as she panicked & when the teacher realised & went through it with her & getting her answers again, she proved she was capable of a high 8, first exam she did this well in Too. Then it all went to pot.

Not sure if it's relevant, we are also in the process of a possible HFA/Aspergers diagnosis, GP is referring her for assessment.

Her GCSEs are fairly broad, but allowed her to follow sciences as a career path as that was her main interest. I'm not sure if she has a clue what her interests are anymore & wont discuss it 😐

How do I handle this 😐

TIA

My DD had no idea what career she wanted to do until she had sat the first week of her GCSE's and then out of the blue popped medicine...so dont worry that she doesnt have any future idea's at the moment and my advice would be to gear A Levels to the subjects she likes and enjoys...

DD also had a crisis of confidence with Chemistry due to not clicking with a teacher in Yr11 (teacher changed in Yr11)...now into A levels and she is really enjoying Chemistry because she has fully engaging teachers.

I would for the moment just concentrate on building her confidence for GCSE's rather than worrying about A levels - At DD's school girls having been swapping and changing A level subjects in the first few weeks of Sixth form - some girls who left have come back already...there is lots of flexibility and sometimes its easier to make the choices when you see the GCSE results.

I agree with Oneteen - two weeks into sixth form, DS1's A levels are completely different to what we thought he wanted to do, apart from psychology, which stayed constant. She could put down 2 sciences and photography - and no one would be surprised if she changed everything once the results come out.

Phew!!!

Thank you both, so much for that. That's a big relief that switching courses ahead of starting is normal. It seems such a big decision for her so far ahead.

Turns out we've missed a school meeting on this, no idea how other than we had no notification on it at all & DD is insisting that she didn't know about it either 😐 so that's made us feel even more out of the loop.

Would you know if DD is right & that you can't do an
A level course unless you have a GCSE in it? I can see why she thinks that, but I've now seen the prospectus & there's plenty of A levels that don't exist as GCSEs in local schools, it seems likely that might not be the case ??

There's a drama one, which she dropped at GCSE & now regrets as it was a big strength of hers & she feels she needs to do something creative to keep her sane through A levels. She thinks she has to do photography, which is a waste of time. I say that as her DF was a professional photographer & very good at it, but he gave it up as it's just Too cutthroat & easy for companies to get photos for free these days, so why pay a photographer

English is a definite, especially now they've introduced a mixed language/litterateur course but wtf was she thinking that she was going to chose literature before that

IB she absolutely refuses as the work load worries her & they seem to have frightened them off it in school, which makes me wonder if she's misunderstood. I'm guessing it will be hard going, but even with missing a load of school (2 years) & low attendance because of her health issues, she still manages to do really well in school, so my thoughts are that she's very capable of doing it anyway. Her lack of confidence & this generalised school meeting say otherwise though 😫 hoping she changes her mind as this does seem to be the most sensible course to keep her career options open until she knows what to do - am I right I that ?

She absolutely refuses point blank to do maths, insisting she isn't good enough I fucking hate the bitch of a year 6 teacher who destroyed her confidence in maths & despite being a big strength of hers, she still thinks she isn't which seems such a shame as again I'm guessing it's a good one to keep options open alongside English & if we can get past the huge exam anxiety, she's predicted to get an 8 GCSE - she doesn't believe that though & bar hopefully her getting that, there's no getting through to her ☹️

Biology looks like a certainty too, thankfully her love of that is restored with her new teachers

It's a mine field isn't it, especially when GCSEs are looming, so it's so good to know they can switch courses when they actually start - thanks for that 💐

There are quite a few you can do without the GCSE - all the social science ones, computer science if you have a strong maths result, music with grade 5 theory instead, even history with a strong result in English. I think drama would still be open to her.
DS started with English and maths but has switched maths to another subject as it was too dry for him. I never saw that one coming! He is now doing English, philosophy, music and psychology. Basically, he can't drop English at the end of Y12 but he's ok for the kinds of degree subjects he thinks he wants to do.

Photography isn’t a waste of time any more than any art A level is a waste of time. Few work in the field of their art A level. Your DD considers Drama, but she’s not going to be an actor one assumes! Ditto fine art or textiles. It’s not helpful to attach A levels in arts to jobs. You don’t to History, English, philosophy etc. So why Photography? At least she’d have good advice at home!!!

DS1 changed two of his A-level subjects in the October half-term of Y12. The A-level choices they express in Y11 are not set in stone. I have a son on the spectrum, another son with anxiety and a daughter with autistic traits. I suggest taking a break from asking her about A-level choices and removing the pressure to make any decisions.

Then in the background, read the prospectus & entry requirements for her sixth form / college of choice, and quietly make a list of what A-levels would be open to her with the GCSEs she'll have. Then later on, when she is in a receptive frame of mind, you will have the information to hand.

Sounds like me. I got my Aspergers diagnosis aged 40.

Has medicine completely fallen away now? Can you get her some practical careers advice/ work experience? Surely school will organise some but it might help to get some ideas. Having said that, I spent my work experience at 16 in a fug of anxiety and hated every minute of it. Life isn't easy with this condition.

It's certainly not too late. DD changed her mind on the day she enrolled at college. Loads of her friends changed their mind after the first year of college and started over again (so they'll be at college for a total of 3 years). I would also get her to look at BTECs if her anxiety causes her to panic in exams. DD didn't do anywhere near as well as she should have in her GCSEs because her of MH problems, but got 3 Distinction-stars (same UCAS points as A* at A level) in her BTECs. Your DD could even do a mixture of A levels and BTECs.