What to do next for uni - what to organise, what to buy, how to cope!

[Janus]

Just that really! We’ve all got our results now so what’s the next step.
I ask as my dd is first in family to uni so we are pretty clueless!
Someone on another thread mentioned to sort out your finance if you’ve switched from preferred uni to insurance or clearing. We don’t need to do that but I wouldn’t have known that.
So any tips? What to buy rather than shoving in the kitchen sink too?!
Thank you.

We are lucky in that DS1 is moving back home while he plots his PhD application so can plunder his kitchen stuff for DS2. It’s helpful to remember that you don’t need as much as you think and that most students will be able to buy cheap kit from nearby supermarkets if they do find they need it.

We found that the biggest load was books and a bike - and for DS2 it’ll be books and his sports kit.....

A lot of University halls have Facebook groups where your dc can "meet" the others in their flat, before going.
This not only helps those that are less confident at meeting new people, but, for those sharing a kitchen, they can suggest that one brings X and another brings Y, etc so you don't end up with 8 of everything.

Some universities like you to book a time slot for bringing them (if don't have much parking, which is quite common).

Santandar were recommended as good student bank accounts and you get a railcard with them (check details as these things do change).

Check with the accommodation what is provided - eg, there was an iron and board in ds's flat, but not in dd's. (This is in the Facebook groups if you can find one).

Really good things to take are door stops - all doors are weighted fire doors which are obviously good, from a safety pov, but, while you are in your room, in the first few weeks, it is nice to prop the door open so you can be open to meeting people in your flat. If the door is closed then people don't stop and chat so readily.
Extn cable(s) very useful.
Pack them / persuade them to pack and 'emergency box'....... small screwdriver, pair of scissors, needle and thread, safety pins, paracetamol, plasters. Cold remedy.
Print out some photos to personalise their room (and blu tac to put them up)...... the rooms are very bland otherwise.
Spare toilet roll - something you really don't want to run out of.

So many parents want to send enormous amounts with departing teenagers, but I think it's a brilliant learning curve for them to do most of the planning themselves. I certainly didnt open a bank account for mine, they should be researching what is available for students and making their own decisions. I'm astonished that you would be choosing your DD's bank account.

I'd say bedding and a mattress protector are essentials, plus whatever kitchen stuff they need (they should reseach what is already there) and that really is about it. So many of the small items that people tell you they should be sent with they will either: break, lose or never use. There are shops nearby and whatever they need, they will be able to buy. They are independent adults now.

Some people like helping people they love SaidTheShark.

I appreciated my parents support when I bought my first property at 26. My parents appreciated mine and my sister's support when they downsized in their 60s. My sister appreciated my support when she moved house in her late 30s.

Of course you can't open bank accounts for your dc, but you can point out to them it would be a good idea to do it.
Yes, 18 yr olds are technically adults, but it is quite daunting to move away, live on your own for the first time, cater, do your washing, budgeting, shopping, living with strangers, dealing with banks, insurance companies, maintenance issues, hospital appts, etc. etc. all for the first time. However much they've chipped in at home, it is all a bit different when you move away, and, if most parents can make that transition a little bit easier for their dc, then why on earth wouldn't you ?

That is because when Saidtheshark's DC reached the magical age of 18 they immediately became confident, self assured adults capable of rational thought; unlike most 18 year olds leaving home for the first time

Just done the 'big shop' with DD2. Before doing this we made a big list with a lot of input from DD1 who has just graduated. Most of the things are from the Asda or Wilkos basic range with a few exceptions (eg reasonable quality kitchen knives and scissors with sheaths so they can go n a drawer rather than a knife block cluttering up the counter).

Space is at a premium so dont go overboard.

The one frivolous thing I am making is a 'rainy day box'. I did one for DD1 and I am now doing one for DD2. It is just a shoebox sized box crammed with things to do when she is bored and has no money:

• instant jelly mixes
• just add water cookie mix
• balloons
• puzzle book
• colouring pencils
• sketching pad
• intensive hair conditioning treatment
• face paint
• origami book and paper

Just things to while away a wet Sunday afternoon. My memories of being a student are that I never had so much fun but also there were times when I was bored rigid with no money and everyone had gone home for the weekend.

Lots of useful info here. My DS is off soon and as he's the first one to go to uni, we have no idea what we're doing!
DD seems to be surprisingly on the ball right now though

DD found a thermos type cup to take coffee to lectures in - found it in a sale for a few quid and really just taken as an afterthought- said it was one of the most useful things she had! Most of her crockery disappeared from shared kitchen over the year.

That is because when Saidtheshark's DC reached the magical age of 18 they immediately became confident, self assured adults capable of rational thought; unlike most 18 year olds leaving home for the first time

I agree with @Saidtheshark, I think there is far too much mollycoddling of ordinary teenagers these days (I'm not talking of anyone with SN so please don't bite).

What would they do if you keeled over and died this afternoon? We need to give them the tools to tackle obstacles by themselves. To take a step back and let them find out, work it out, action it, etc. by themselves. We can be there for help assistance to point them in the right direction but how are they going to cope without you at Uni if they cannot do their own lists of what they need to buy or acquire to take with them, to do their own shopping whether online or in a shop, to talk to the bank and open an account, to make phone calls if needed.
It's perfectly ok to help in terms of advice or point them in the right direction but what on earth will they do when you've left them at Uni and gone home?

But hey ho maybe you didn't start this process early on, even at Primary school you can aim for some independence eg I used to refuse to go in the shop and buy them sweets: they had to go in ask for what they wanted, pay and know the correct change, and say please and thank you - if they didn't, no sweets. I wanted my daughter to be able to get on with life, make her own decisions, organise things by herself - and she has turned out very capable, and does so.

Good grief, I was only asking if there was anything I’d/she’d not necessarily think of, something like the thermos cup is a great idea.
I’m leaving dd to make the list for the shop in Ikea etc. The Facebook group for her halls has already worked out who is brining a kettle etc, she’s done all that obviously.
Neither myself or dh have been to uni so this is very new for us and I just want to get it right so she settles in as easy as possible.
Thanks for the hints and tips everyone.

I did help DD make a list and we found the thermos cup on an impromptu uni shopping trip! She is supporting herself financially through jobs she has done since 16 and is the only one in her friendship group who is doing so. She is definitely not mollycoddled - there is s middle way between giving support and letting people struggle. I loved being involved with her and helping her get ready - managing your own money is a big ask when you haven't done it before (and even when you have). Best of luck to everyone starting this year - enjoy!

What would they do if you keeled over and died this afternoon?

Be supported by dh, my sister, brother, BiL, SiL, cousins, dh's S+Bil, and DB, their grandparents, good friends of ours, our church family, families of friends of theirs. What an odd question.

Ariela - I did all that - made my little dc go and ask adults for things when they were quite young, taught them independence skills, etc., as I imagine many parents of this thread do, but there's nowt wrong with checking with people who have done something before, if there is something you haven't thought about when about to do something you haven't done before.
You see threads like that all the time..... What is the best way to avoid queues at Legoland?..... or 'Thinking of going on our first family holiday abroad, any tips?' ........ or the thousands of wedding questions asked on here on a regular basis.
Isn't that what this on-line community is all about, sharing a little of what we do know and being able to ask about things we don't know ?