How often do you visit?

[rainbowstardrops]

Hi all. My DS is due his A- level results tomorrow and I'm getting myself in a right tizz.

He's just announced that he probably hasn't done well enough because he was too busy on his PlayStation than revising to get into his top choice uni as he needs AAB. This uni is a five hour drive away.

I have severe travel anxiety as I was involved in a very serious car crash before I had the DCs and therefore I don't drive. DH does but I am a dreadful passenger and a complete PITA I'm sure.

He has now decided he's gone off of his 2nd choice as it's near to London and a few other reasons

He's now looking at clearing and has come up with some more universities but they're even further away than his first choice!!!!
So my question is, if you have DCs at a uni a long way away, how often do you visit them/they visit you?

I fully admit that I need to put my big girl pants on and let him fly but I so wish he'd accepted the unconditional offer for the uni in our home town!

I think I need to get lots of wine in for tomorrow

Thanks for reading my rambling waffle

I think you're right. His friend is doing a completely different course as well.
This is all a bit real now!

Neither of mine are as far away as your dc, but we don't go visiting during the year.
Well, dc2 is in a part of the world where dh sometimes has to be for other reasons, so he will then go and take her out for a meal or something, but that is only because he is there anyway - he didn't do it for dc1.
I did like to take them at the beginning of the year as I am nosey found it easier, having seen the accommodation, but I stress, the journeys were more like 3 hours, and I don't have any issues with driving or being a passenger.

I thought my DS would only come back for holidays but he announced the other day that he hopes to come back every few weeks to visit us and his girlfriend, so we're looking into getting him a 16-25 railcard. I wonder how long those visits will last once he's in full swing at uni?!!!!

Wonderful news rainbowstardrops! Loughborough Uni is a great place.

Thank you @Rebecca36! He's so excited and very lucky apparently, as he's studying sport and exercise science which I've heard is fantastic at Loughborough.
I just hope he remembers to study while he's there because he seems to be looking forward to the social side of it right now I think!

Get him a young persons railcard if he hasn't already got one. I used mine to pop home during reading week if I wanted to as well as the holidays. It really paid for itself!

One of my friends said that week 3 is when home sickness really bites, and that many students benefit from a parental or home visit on that weekend. It certainly restored the spritis of her (outgoing and confident) son when he first went to unit last year.

A friend of DD's is at Lincoln, and it took him ages to settle as so many students went home at the weekend during the first term.

I think it depends on the student and the university whether you visit or not. Just play it by ear.

Thank you. I'm definitely going to get him a railcard as it will just be so much easier for him to get the train back instead of the three of us traipsing there in the car.

I'll definitely make a note of the three week home sickness thing. I'd pay for him to come home every weekend if he wanted but I have a feeling that won't be the case!

I think they really miss out on the whole experience if they come home too often. A BIG part of going away to University is the living with other people, sorting out issues that arise, dealing with banks, insurance, doctors, etc that you might be tempted to help them with more if they are home every weekend.
Well worth hinting you don't want to see them before the end of October at the earliest.

I think you get a free railcard if you open a student account at Santander (used to anyway - worth a look)

We wet once in 3 years and he only came back at the end of each term.

went even!

I was 2 hours away. My parents rarely came to visit me, but I went home a lot (until final year when I got a weekend job) so there was no need really.

That's what I'm thinking Backforgood.
I'm thinking he might pop back in October (because he really wants to see his girlfriend) and then the odd thing here and there but I definitely want him to embrace uni life.
The other part of me wants him to come home more often!!!!
Gotta let them fly and all that though