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Original poster

Y13 Summer term: Finishing Lessons, Starting Exams and leaving Sixth Form

999 replies

catslife · 22/04/2018 15:07

So our dcs are now on the last term of sixth form, finishing off lessons and starting their exams.
How did that happen - doesn't seem that long ago since they started Y12.
This is the thread where we support each other as our dcs revise and start their exams, finish off coursework, leave sixth form and make plans for what to do with the rest of their lives. This may involve going to uni or other alternatives.
Every Y13 parent is welcome to join in whether new to these threads or if you have been with us for a while - the more the merrier.

OP posts:
Nettleskeins · 29/05/2018 11:19

I don't think it would be wrong to tell her you are worried about the horse, but make it clear that you are the person who is going to deal with the practical issues, you are not asking her to be responsible for the horse's treatment just share concern. I think our children suck up our tension anyway, so we don't do them any favours by keeping important information from them. I think the bond you have when you go through trouble together is quite important if you can stay open.

my mum had horses. I didnt ride much, she loved them, they were important members of the family. One was called Sofa, because he was so comfortable to sit on! They were always getting laminitis or narrowly avoiding getting laminitis.

HesMyLobster · 29/05/2018 13:18

I know less than nothing about horses, so can't really help there.

I did just receive a pm from the clearing guru in the link I posted confirming that DD's insurance course has been in clearing every year for the past 5 years! Which makes me feel a bit calmer and less likely to catastophise!
I know DD will be gutted if she doesn't get the grades for her first choice, but at least if she bombs and misses her insurance too they are still likely to accept her.

TeresasGreen · 29/05/2018 13:26

I do wish past years clearing was still available to look at. They could just cover it in "this doesn't mean anything" warnings, or only allow some sort of limited visibility. I know I'm going to be trawling the lists as soon as they are available, even though DD is very likely to make her grades. I'd just like the opportunity to do some research for her up front. I do realise I should focus my anxiety on making sure she has as much MH support in place, or at least researched, in her two existing options though.

starfleet · 29/05/2018 13:32

Hope all is well with DC's/Horses etc today.

I'm letting DS go at his own pace - not much to be had by me asking how he is getting on every 5 mins. He asks me to wake him up before I leave for work around 8.30am and then gets himself organised for the day.

He's another who thinks he may have changed his mind - has decided that he would much prefer to go to his insurance choice. Bloomin' kids.

Nettleskeins · 29/05/2018 14:08

we've had a lovely lunch with ds telling us about Othello imagery (he is still talking about the King Lear last night too). I cannot believe he knows anything but he does. Then he blew it all by talking about Plastic Theatre in Othello..oh no, that is not wot shakespeare wrote, it is a staging decision. still, what do I know, maybe you can say things like that in a critical context but I doubt it.

Violent clash between the brothers when ds2 started talking about the Cold War and ds1 started talking about Death Of Stalin (the film) cue ds2 screaming you are not allowed to talk about FILMS!!! This is history.

rain rain rain, thunder, wet washing and cosy indoors

UrsulaPandress · 29/05/2018 15:38

Horse issue, to bore you all, is that he was injured in the field. He is a mare magnet and when they were first turned out, one of the new mares wanted to be with him, but one of the existing mares (who was not turned out with them last year as she kept getting kicked), wanted to be with the new mare. Cue constant galloping about trying to escape each other and keep the little herds together (there are about 14 of them out).

Our horse was then injured, (I think he impaled the top of his leg on a low branch) but took 3 days to catch (I know!). He is on box rest at the moment and everything has calmed down in the field, so he is being blamed for all the upset. I actually blame the existing mare but accept that our horse is probably the catalyst. Consequently I know that the yard owner does not want him to go back out with them. He could go in the winter field - one of my friends on the yard has agreed that her gelding could go out with him, but as she will want to bring her horse in to ride she would have to bring ours in as well as he cannot be left alone.

First world problems I know, but DD will worry about what we are going to do with him and I don't want her to have the added stress. We will probably have to move yards which is a total ballache as we are relinquishing him in September.

Vet bill is already £315 and that's before this morning's visit.

Nettleskeins · 29/05/2018 15:56

what about not relinquishing him in Sept so moving yard might be worthwhile? Is there anyone who might enjoy riding him in the interim/do some of the chores associated (don't know how your yard works), and she can still ride him in the holidays/weekends off, and you can visit him too? I know it must be very expensive to keep a horse at livery but it seems like she is keen on her riding, and as she get older will be more independent at organising it. Most of our problems are first world problems, not all Sad but most, so don't feel guilty about that.

UrsulaPandress · 29/05/2018 16:03

His owner says she is not putting him on loan again as she will never find anyone who loves him like we do - yeah right! So DD will still be able to ride him wherever his owner decides to keep him.

After I had my mare pts I vowed I would never put myself in that positon again.

Nettleskeins · 29/05/2018 16:13

yes, I can see it is a big administrative/emotional worry for you (horse's happiness in new yard etc), how upsetting of current yard; I'm glad she will see him whenever she wants though, later on.

UrsulaPandress · 29/05/2018 16:16

The yard owner is being a bit off with me - she keeps saying she doesn't know what to do and I know she wants me to solve it by moving.

I just wanted a nice relaxed horse time with him out for the summer - where I could do a drive by - I can spot a lame/sick horse from half a mile away Grin.

Onward and upward.

chocolateworshipper · 29/05/2018 17:16

Welcome pearls

Flowers and Wine for you ursula

I am yet again thanking my lucky stars that DD isn't doing any exams. She dumped the really nice bf and is now spending all her time with an older boy. Obviously she denies there's anything going on - where have I heard that before? Oh yes - for weeks before she finally admitted she was going out with the previous bf. She seems to think that we parents were never teenagers and are just utterly stupid. Angry

Thesearepearls · 29/05/2018 19:49

Thank you chocolate worshipper!

I don't know how to send you flowers Ursula or I would. My DD was just the same. Hope the nag bucks up and heals up and stops costing £££

DS ventured out of the house today. It's a relief because I was worried he'd turned into a hermit. He's back at his desk now though.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 29/05/2018 20:08

Welcome Pearls :)

Ursula what a nightmare. Not what you need at this point.

Chocolate is the new relationship worrying you?

dd took herself off to the gp for the first time by herself. She rarely goes and it took a lot of courage. It went a bit wrong (protecting dds privacy) it really knocked her confidence, dd was in tears and it took her a huge huge amount of courage to sort it out on the phone. With help she managed it, but it was a fraught few hours.

HesMyLobster · 29/05/2018 20:10

Pearls my DD left the house for approximately half an hour today to go to an opticians appointment. That's the only time she has even left her room.
Her friend popped over to pick up a jacket she'd left last week and I thought well at least they might have a natter so a bit of a break, but she was gone again within 5 minutes.
I'm proud of her dedication obviously, but I think a bit of balance would be healthier.

Downeyhouse · 29/05/2018 20:11

Sorry to read about the horse troubles.

Is anyone else feeling guilty for relaxing whilst their dc are revising?

I am currently out on on terrasse with a glass of wine whilst ds sits surrounded by books and papers at the dining room table.

HesMyLobster · 29/05/2018 20:13

Oh Kitten I feel for your DD so much.
We want them to reach out of their comfort zones and try to do things independently but it's so so hard when things go wrong and damage what little confidence they have.
I hope this bad experience doesn't set your DD back too much.

UrsulaPandress · 29/05/2018 20:20

Downey I'm not sure I'm enjoying having you on this thread.

I don't feel guilt. I just have nerves that I can do nothing with. DD hasn't asked me for any help other than discussing books etc in the car. And I spent £38 on stationery in Tesco today.

NoHaudinMaWheest · 29/05/2018 20:23

kitten that was brave of your dd and a shame that it went wrong. I am glad it got sorted out - even more brave of her. I hope she has more rather than less confidence the next time.

I think dd does have a reasonable work/ rest balance though I worry when I read how much others are doing.
I do remind myself of my younger self doing Highers (Scottish A level equivalent). I got lower grades in two subjects (my best and my worst) and I am convinced that it is because I overstudied to the point of nearly making myself ill beforehand.

marmiteloversunite · 29/05/2018 20:39

Downey I'm still writing flash cards so not feeling guilty, no!

Downeyhouse · 29/05/2018 20:39

You made me smile Ursula

UrsulaPandress · 29/05/2018 20:41

I'm just jealous.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 29/05/2018 20:47

It was really brave of her. It took a lot of me explaining to her that it was nothing that she did wrong at all. It was just lack of experience and her age. It's very difficult to stand up to a gp even if you are confident.

UrsulaPandress · 29/05/2018 20:49

Going to be gp alone is a huge step.

chocolateworshipper · 29/05/2018 20:56

Awww kitten - it's so hard to get the balance between wanting to wrap them up in cotton wool and knowing that you need to give them some independence isn't it? Flowers for your DD

And yes I am concerned about this new relationship (that isn't a relationship according to her). I think it's more about how many lies she's telling us regarding this boy (she was staying at a girl's house, who just happens to have this brother - but we've never seen this girl, only him). I think I'm also rather jaded because by nature I'm always very welcoming of new boyfriends and treat them really well, and then they disappear. I had to do it for the first serious one really, because it was when she was at her most vulnerable (just after the ODs), so I wanted to make sure that he was a good influence on her and that she would be safe with him. I think it's a lesson learned for me - she's so much more stable now and I need to take several steps back and just be a "normal" mum meeting new boyfriends.

TeresasGreen · 29/05/2018 20:59

OYBBK how awful it happened, but at least it is fixed.

I emailed the disability support at DDs firm offer today to see what we can do to get support in place. I’m fully expecting to be told they can only discuss with her; but the nature of her problem means she can’t! Fingers crossed they are understanding.