To help someone too much?

[Noodlestudent]

I've just started college and in all classes with quite a close friend, she is very anxious. I understand to some extent as I have it myself but not as bad. Like she worries about very minor things in lessons, she even left my own my own for a presentation in front of a new class on my own. I wasn't too angry, just a bit disappointed and did not confront her.

She used to need help a lot at GCSE, often asking for pictures of my work. I used to send them not thinking much of it because it was my first time taking proper exams. However, she still asks for help quite a lot and I don't really want to send pictures as I have worked quite hard on it myself.

I think she can do it, as she got a little better than me in English at GCSE. But she relies on me, often asking me loads of questions over texts and asking to see my work. She even said to someone "I will just wait for her because she knows what to do" and I don't often ask for her help.

I don't think it helps her anxiety either, as she has no belief in her work or herself. Most of the time her work is correct, but she either just looks at what I am doing or stresses until we give the work in.

I don't want to fall out as I don't have any friends in college, but I don't want to be carrying somebody else's weight. I often find myself looking for extra work to improve grades, whereas she doesn't and gets upset when she gets a lower mark. Not really sure what to do.

Thanks for any advice 💕

I think you are going to have to do something - if the college finds out they may accuse YOU of cheating and it doesn't seem fair if you get into trouble. Could you tell your tutor that she is asking you for lots of help (you don't have to say she wants a copy of your work if you don't want to get her into trouble)? That way the college can offer her some additional support. It may well be that she struggles to get started with something due to anxiety and low self esteem. Hopefully they can give her tips on note-taking, planning etc

It sounds as if she is anxious about not getting things right. I think approaching the tutor is the right way to go.

I think you do need to start backing off OP and encourage her to see the teacher for help rather than you.
It sounds to me as if you are supporting her, but when you needed help with the presentation she didn't support you.
Its great that you have helped her so far, but it's obviously becoming a burden on you so you need to ask someone for help at the college about what to do next. Encouraging someone to move from being dependent on you to be independent can be difficult but is the best policy in the long run

It's lovely you are so kind and helpful

But this will back fire. Either you will end uo.accused of cheating or slowly but surely you will end up taking on more and more responsibility for her work.

She's never going to get the help she needs from the teachers if she's basically just copying you.

And the fact she did better in English would have me thinking that actuakky she knows what she is doing and is getting you to do the ground work then beefing it up.ajd getting better marks while you struggle to do yours and help her

I don't think the OP is really struggling with her own work though, it's just the burden of constantly helping someone else.
At GCSE where class sizes are larger then teachers are not able to give pupils individual help but at A level with smaller classes, this should be possible.