Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

Flip

Original poster

Education 16+

12 replies

Nicole1000 · 18/09/2017 11:11

Hi,
Does anyone have experience of a 16/17 not wanting to attend college? My daughter has recently started a college course and is hating it. She struggled through secondary school and a previous college course due to anxiety (around education and social situations). She is currently seeing a private counsellor who she says isn't much help, although she's only had three sessions so far. She has looked at apprenticeships but because she has to resit Maths and English it's proving hard to find something to accommodate everything.
Thanks in advance 😃

OP posts:

Trying2bgd · 19/09/2017 22:13

bump

StaplesCorner · 20/09/2017 11:56

DD is 16 started college 2 weeks ago, hates it and I don't blame her. I think this is a common problem but at the moment all I am doing is looking at other colleges. Wonder if anyone else can join the thread and comment?

Maybe its the change going back to being the "new girl" or boy again, its upsetting for them? My DD and I think we chose the wrong college, the journey is too much, everyone else is local (we didn't realise this would happen) and the course itself is run in a university setting, so basically they are treated like adults which has its downside; e.g. yesterday she went on a field trip and the tutor didn't realise she wasn't in a group so she was left alone for 5 hours just sitting on a bench most of it. Some universities have taken on FE as a way of earning income so have no experience of younger teenagers.

BeatriceBeaudelaire · 20/09/2017 12:19

@StaplesCorner why didn't your daughter tell the teacher she wasn't in a group? It's expected that a 16/17 yo can speak up about these things.
If she has anxiety that is awful and I can understand if she was too nervous to say anything ... but unless the teacher knows this he doesn't know to keep an eye on her.

StaplesCorner · 20/09/2017 12:22

I'm just contributing our experience to the thread I don't want advice thank you. Course - absolute madness - the "teacher" could actually take some responsibility.

chocolateworshipper · 20/09/2017 13:20

DD suffered extremely badly with anxiety and didn't do as well in her GCSEs as she should have. She went to college and chose 2 BTECs and one A level. She's ditched the A level because she just can't cope with exams, but she's doing brilliantly with the BTECs because she can manage the coursework at her own pace and can work around any "down" days. Could that work for your DD?

Also, it's common to not see the value of a counsellor until after a few sessions. However, sometimes we just don't "click" with someone and you could try to find someone else.

Original poster

Nicole1000 · 20/09/2017 13:57

My daughter is doing BTEC, as it's mainly coursework she is coping ok workwise. It's mainly the social side of things she struggles with. I've spoken to the student welfare lady at the college who was nice and I've told my daughter if she has a problem to head for her.
It's the constant "I don't want to go to college today" " you don't know how I feel" etc . that upsets me. For now I'll persevere.
The counsellor seems really nice so I'm hoping she starts to feel the benefits soon.
Thanks for responding.

OP posts:

Original poster

Nicole1000 · 20/09/2017 14:09

Sorry to hear about your daughter's experience on the trip. It sounds like something my daughter would do. She just doesn't have the confidence to speak up for herself sometimes.
I think you're right about being the new girl or boy. My daughter finds it hard to make friends as she's so shy. I've been in touch with the student welfare lady and I've told my daughter to go to her if she has a problem. I'm hoping things will settle down soon.
I hope things improve for your daughter.

OP posts:

Trying2bgd · 20/09/2017 14:17

for your DD

Keep doing what your doing and hopefully things will improve. Tell her she is stronger than she thinks she is and there are people she doesn't even know that believe in her and wish her all the best.

Original poster

Nicole1000 · 20/09/2017 14:47

Thank you. That's really kind

OP posts:

StaplesCorner · 20/09/2017 22:00

Thank you Nicole and I agree with Trying's sentiments

supersop60 · 02/10/2017 17:21

Hi. My DD is 16 and going through much the same thing. She struggled through yr 11, barely attending school, yet managed to pass all her GCSEs. She was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and an eating disorder, and has sen CAMHS (which didn't work for her) and a private therapist (which did). She chose a BTEC course at a not so local college, 3 days per week, and got a weekend job.
Hurrah we thought, until this morning when I also had "I don't want to go in, you don't understand, it's school all over again, I can't do any more education" etc etc
So yes, I understand exactly where you are coming from OP. We are going to try a sit down talk tonight to discuss how to move forward. I'm hoping she'll agree to see the term out - it's only been 3 weeks so far. Keep us posted on your progress.

Original poster

Nicole1000 · 02/10/2017 18:11

It's horrible isn't it. My daughter had a relatively good week last week so I thought we were getting somewhere but last night I had the "I really don't want to go, I hate it there, you don't understand". I managed to talk her into going and will just have to take it day by day. I'm literally counting down the days until she finishes lol
I hope things improve for your daughter

OP posts:

Flip