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Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

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Original poster

Can anyone help - DD and Uni?

47 replies

mymatemarmite · 01/07/2017 23:06

DD has always been adamant that she didn't want to go to Uni when she finishes 6th form. At the moment she is just finishing the 1st year of 6th form at a very good Grammar School. I think this may be her problem or part of it. The School are very focussed at getting as many girls as possible to Uni and think she has kind of switched off as she is not a top grade student (more a middle one).

We have sat down this evening and she is in tears as she has no idea what she wants to do when she finishes next July. I have encouraged her to look at the local Uni (actually there are 2) and we will go and visit in October.

Is it possible to do a degree without a specific subject? I have no idea how these things work. I have never been to Uni, ExDH does have a degree and a masters degree but he did it through the Open University.

At present her A levels are Maths, Psychology, Business and Sociology.
The poor girl is just drifting and if we don't do something now she will just drift for the next year and nothing will be done.

I am not a pushy parent, I want her to be happy and if she decides that Uni is not for her then so be it. I do have 2 Older DC and neither of them have gone to Uni, they chose the apprenticeship route. But at the same time, as DD does not know what she want's to do, just want her to get a good grounding of education whilst she is still young rather that what her Dad did and wait until he was early 30's before studying.

Thanks in advance

OP posts:

SerfTerf · 02/07/2017 00:30

Don't lose sight of the fact that some well paid, interesting careers don't require a uni education. Also that two very similar sounding jobs can be hugely different in terms of pay, prospects and travel. TV/film make up specialist v salon beautician is one example that springs to mind after your later post.

Original poster

mymatemarmite · 02/07/2017 00:34

Purpose of the trip? Fun, sight seeing, educational, etc.... I have to admit, if it was me I would want to go.

I do understand that Uni is not the be all - I just need to look at exDH for that. I am just worried that she really has no idea what she wants to do and just trying to give her some ideas.

OP posts:

CaurnieBred · 02/07/2017 00:35

Newcastle offers a Combined Studies honours degree

SuperBeagle · 02/07/2017 00:42

I think going to uni when you don't want to be there and don't know what you want to do is counterintuitive. It's not the way to discover your passions or what you want to be/do most of the time, and the study is far more demanding than high school, so it's likely to reaffirm her negative feelings about university.

Encourage her to take a gap year. Better if it's abroad. It'll give her the opportunity to work, see some of the world, gain some perspective outside of the little bubble she's been raised in (not a slight at you, but a fact that relates to all teens/young adults) etc. It may give her the study break she needs to then decide her path from there.

Original poster

mymatemarmite · 02/07/2017 00:46

May be she does need a gap year - she did NCS last summer and really enjoyed it and has mentioned that she can do another one abroad, that could be an option we could look into.

OP posts:

Marmaladeorange · 02/07/2017 01:46

Is the grammar school Birmingham based by any chance?

LooseAtTheSeams · 02/07/2017 09:15

Just to reassure your dd, I think it's not uncommon now to wait for A level results and apply for the following year - the school won't be keen but the universities know what they're dealing with and in fact it's more straightforward if they already know the results.
She's very social sciences in her A levels - she could adapt these to training for a career in a wide range of health services for example (especially with maths) or she could think about anthropology or social policy as degrees later on.
I'd basically reassure her she doesn't have to do anything now except do her best in her A levels, plan on a gap year with some voluntary work to get school off her case and start making plans once A levels are over.
I teach Access to humanities in an FE college. We get lots of bright people into great unis and increasingly a lot of younger students who just weren't ready for uni at 17/18. A year or two later and it's their dream!

dementedma · 02/07/2017 09:22

I didnt want to go to uni after school and had no idea what I wanted to do. I worked as an au pair for two years, one post abroad, one post in the UK and then I went to uni after that. Au pairing is a good way to learn about a new country and language. Both of my dds have done it. One graduated from uni last week, one is doing a degree via the OU.

NotCitrus · 02/07/2017 09:48

I'd highly recommend a year working in any industry and getting that experience, which if she does go to uni later, will really hrlp in finding holiday work and a job after.
She can always travel in the summer after saving.

PengiQuin · 02/07/2017 09:55

May be she does need a gap year - she did NCS last summer and really enjoyed it and has mentioned that she can do another one abroad, that could be an option we could look into.

I did this at a similar age, OP. It's called ICS and I went to Malawi for 10 weeks. I was such a drifter before, and it really opened my eyes to what I wanted to achieve in life and the opportunities available to me.

Mary21 · 02/07/2017 11:06

If you look at the Challenge website (NCS people) They also do something called step forwards. 1 year gap year apprenticeships. Only applicable if you are in or near London

MyNewBearTotoro · 02/07/2017 11:15

I didn't know what I wanted to do after A-levels, I considered uni and started the application process but couldn't decide on a subject so didn't apply in the end.

I got a job as a TA in a school and realised I wanted to be a teacher (not a career I'd considered before!) - was too late realising this to apply for uni that year so ended up having a 2 years gap - in the second I volunteered teaching overseas.

I'm glad I didn't go to uni straight after A-levels to follow a subject my heart wasn't in. ibthink sometimes at school students are railroaded into uni as the obvious next step but for some it's better to have some time out to think about it.

A gap year might be just what she needs to get some space to reflect on who she is and where she wants to be. From what you've said I think that would be the area I'd be looking into now.

chocolateworshipper · 02/07/2017 12:37

I would be having a conversation with her tutor about her being allowed to drop the Maths. It's probably not doing her self esteem much good to be carrying on with a 4th subject that she's struggling with. That would allow her to concentrate on the 3 other subjects and hopefully get better grades. The majority of places either have students start on 3 (unless exceptionally bright) or start with 4 and drop one after a year (or sooner if they are struggling). I would also suggest considering a gap year - she would then know what her results are when she applies, which reduces stress (rather than have a conditional offer and be stressing about whether her results are going to be good enough) and might give her a better insight into what she really wants to do. She could work full time during the gap year, or work part time and do some additional study.

Original poster

mymatemarmite · 02/07/2017 21:32

Marmalade, no its not a Sch in Birmingham.

We have had a good chat today, we have booked to go and have a look at the 2 Uni's in October but she knows that there is no pressure from me that she has to do it. She took herself off this evening and started to write a personal statement.

At the end of the day I just want her to be happy, out of my 3DC I would have thought that she would be the most directed one. At home she is so organised and tidy she puts the rest of us to shame!!

OP posts:

Squishedstrawberry4 · 02/07/2017 21:53

It's normal not to know at this age. She's only 17. Please don't let her do a degree unless she's fully committed and engaged in the subject. She's much better off having a few years off and approaching a degree as a young mature adult. Older students generally do much better because they are deeply driven to do a subject and have some life experience.

ASo you're not in a position to advise her and seem to be grasping at straws. Book an appointment with your local careers advice centre. They will know about a huge variety of opportunities and can work through her strengths and dislikes.

antimatter · 15/07/2017 16:32

I would take her to an open day to Arts University or college such as Leeds Art college or Falmouth University. The reason I am saying that is that there are courses there which aren't pure Art and lead to interesting careers.
Have look at
www.falmouth.ac.uk/#cf_tab=undergrad

She could do Art foundation year if she would like to apply for Art course.

Does she enjoy her business A-levels? Would this kind of courses interest her?
www.falmouth.ac.uk/fashionmarketing
www.arts.ac.uk/fashion/courses/undergraduate/ba-fashion-buying-and-merchandising/
www.arts.ac.uk/fashion/courses/undergraduate/bsc-fashion-management/

OddBoots · 15/07/2017 16:43

I took my DS and will take my DD to get private assessment and careers advice because the whole thing is overwhelming for a young person with no particular career in mind if you don't know where to start looking.

We have used www.adviza.org.uk/ but I am sure there are places all over the country.

antimatter · 15/07/2017 17:17

Great idea OddBoots!

PurpleWithRed · 15/07/2017 17:24

If she doesn't know what to do that's fine - she's very young and likely to be working till she's 70, there's no rush to get on the Uni/career ladder, she'll probably change careers a couple of times in her lifetime. Let her focus on her A levels (lots of good advice above) and plan absolutely nothing for after that. No pressure. When people ask her what next say breezily "no idea, she's going to hang out and think for a bit". She can do a crap job, live at home, get a feel for the world. (you may wish to put a time limit on the 'live at home' bit!). Lots of schools, especially academic schools, are one-track thinkers - they equate success with a good uni place. They are wrong. Let her be who she is, which may take a bit of time to discover.

ChrisPrattsFace · 15/07/2017 17:35

I never knew what I wanted to do, I'm 26 now and have only just got a career on track. I wouldn't say I have been lost, but I have such interest in SO many things it's taken me some time to find my way.
I think a gap year would be good for her, explore different things that interest her and see if one had a path to follow.
If she's interested in design/ colour/ fashion etc then it would be worth speaking to the careers team about what jobs/apprenticeships there is.
Volunteer work in different industries over a gap year would also help her gather her thoughts!

BarbarianMum · 19/07/2017 10:55

Far far better to go to university in a few years time knowing what you want to study than to go straight from school if you don't.

heeky · 28/08/2017 17:53

You can apply for a foundation course at most unis in humanities . That put off the hour of decision making for at least a year !

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