DS1 refusing to choose a Universities!

[LynetteScavo]

DS is currently doing a Btec in Engineering and A level maths (Year 12)

He's stated he wants to go to uni, and doesn't want to do an apprenticeship. He's very clear about this. When he makes up his mind, he rarely changes it. But he's refusing to consider which uni he might like to go to, and says he'll visit five open days, but has no idea which ones. I've done a lot of research, and today I tried to shove under his nose some info I've printed off regarding a uni course which seems really perfect for him, not me, it's a six hour drive away

He refused to even glance at it. I got a little exasperated and asked "Are you even going to university?" and he said "Yes, I'm going to turn up." In DS language that means he is definitely intending to go to uni, but is happy for me to choose which one. This is so far removed from what I was like at that age I'm really struggling to get my head round it.

He was exactly the same with high schools. He told me to choose a school and he'd go to it. That seemed fine when he was 10yo but this is getting silly.

He definitely wants to go to uni, and is very clear about which subject. DH would rather he got an apprenticeship.

I'll leave it for now. DH is being as reluctant about it as DS, but has said he's happy to drive him anywhere to look.

Apparently I "bang on" and over think things.

And yes, I'd love to chose his wife for him

I would leave it for now. My ds1 has an open day booked with school taking him to Cambridge. I suggested it might be an idea to consider what he wants to see when he is there and he had a very stressed reaction.
He pointed out that he has exams to study for, work experience to gain, driving to consider and to have pressure applied to consider where he is planning to live and study is something he doesn't need until at least after his exams.

He is right.

No rush to do anything now but after exams it might be an idea to visit a local uni for him to get a feel of what uni is all about. It doesn't have to be a uni he wants to go to. Then get into a discussion about the kind of uni he might consider - campus, small town, big city. Does he have any idea what Bath might be like compared to Birmingham compared to Bangor? If he wants to do a course that's on offer at most universities, you can narrow down choices straight away based on the kind of uni he wants. He's possibly just overwhelmed with the prospect. Once he has predicted grades, he can narrow down the choices even further.

My own advice would be to avoid London unless there's a particularly special course on offer there - too big, too expensive, too much going on outside what the uni has to offer, and there's lots of time for London once you've graduated.