17yo college attendance & AS revision

[sbm78]

I am so frustrated with my 17yo! Wondering if anyone has any advise.

Basically he is terrible at getting up. He's had lots of lateness and missing 1st & 2nd classes and is now on report. He's been late this week and missed 2 lessons yesterday so in big trouble as he's breached the report rules.

He won't do any revision, I spoke to him a number of times over the easter holidays about it but he just won't do it. His mocks came back as D's and E's.

We had a big argument last night because I told him not to go on the computer as he had missed lessons when I went upstairs he was on the computer this turned into a big argument with him shouting and swearing at me.

Someone please help, since he's been at college he's changed :( :( and I can't talk to him without him flying off the handle.

You have my sympathy, I've been in a similar situation with DS1. I don't have any advice on how to get your DS to revise, I never managed it myself. What did work for me and our relationship was keeping communication open, treating him like an adult able to make his own choices, remembering that good mental health is more important than exam results and remembering that there are other options out there apart from AS/A2s . Also, once I realised depression and anxiety were issues, finding a good psychotherapist for him. He didn't want to go to the college counsellor and a friend recommended someone who has a background of working with young people and reduces fees for them. Another thing that helped was dropping the subject he was struggling the most with. This reduced the workload and we also found that being left with his "best" subjects increased his confidence, leading him to be more inclined to work at them, which in turn improved his results.

None of this may be relevant to you, but you are not alone. I think this is such a challenging year for young people.

Thank you Phaedra, I'm glad I'm not alone.

I try to treat him like an adult, it's hard though when he totally disrespects what I say.

I don't think we have depression or anxiety I think it is pure laziness and arrogance that he thinks he will come of the exams "ok".
X