Foster now or wait a few years?

[AandO]

We are currently considering fostering. It is something I have wanted to do all my life. There is one problem though, the prospect that we will move area/country in four years time. My dh is going to be doing his phd for the next four years and once he finishes it will hopefully get a job, but this job will definately not be in the area we are living now and will most likely be out of the country.

We would tell the social worker this likelihood at the beginning. But we have heard that very frequently even short term fostering ends up as long term fostering. And ultimately we would much much prefer long term fostering - so that we, the child and our ds could form a long lasting stable and loving relationship over time, benefiting everyone.

We are concerned that if we had a foster child that we would have to move for the job and then obviously not be able to take the child with us, we are nervous that he or she would feel rejected by us and also how it would effect our ds.

My dh things we should wait until he has completed his phd and we have moved somewhere permanantly before we foster. I kind of agree but it seems so long away right now and I keep on thinking of all the children that need help right now and that we could try to help during that time.

What do you think? What would be the best option? Thanks

I would start the ball rolling - if you say all this to a social worker she can work out how long the assessments/paperwork/matching with child/ren will take and how much childcare time would then be left and make a decision if you are still suitable.

If you go through a private company rather than a council/area social services would you be allowed to move the child with you within the UK? is the disruption of moving house with a family they have bonded with less than the disruption of moving families?

I'd also say that within a four year timescale a lot can happen and certainly as far as short-term fostering it is feasible. We foster for a local authority and they start all foster carers as short term, only considering you for long term placements after you have been with them for a while (although sometimes , as you say, a short term placement can change to a long term placement etc etc - in fact, from what I understand, that is often the case). Meanwhile, there are lots of children who do desperately need short term placements while parents are assessed, sick or in prison - just as an example.
At the moment, we have been fostering for a year and there's nothing like getting started for learning all about the process and support - some of which is not apparent prior to child turning up on your doorstep.
Also, as long as you are completely clear with the agency, there isn't anything to lose by making a start.
Ultimately it's only a decision you can both make but I'd say that it is one that you both have to be completely in agreement about - it is not worth pushing your husband on it if he would prefer to wait as it is something that needs the absolute commitment of both parties. Is the reluctance only about the future move or because there might be some disruption to the PhD plans and studying with a child around?
I am not trying to judge but just emphasis that it is something that needs to be done absolutely together and if one party is pushing at a different speed, it might be worth slowing down a bit.
I think they'll always be a need.
Good luck with whatever you decide!

Thanks a million for your replies!

Purple, DH is totally on board, really wants to foster but was just concerned about having to abandon a child as such. Yorky, we wouldn't be able to take child along as will most likely be leaving the country!

Thanks again for your thoughts, we have discussed it again and have decided to go ahead with it !