What would you do, advice needed please

[Flower3545]

A couple of years ago we fostered a newborn, he was with us 18 months and we adored him. he eventually left when he was placed with his adopter who I am still in touch with on a regular basis.

The baby's social worker Mrs X was one of the worst I've worked for. She was lazy, unfeeling and generally made life as difficult as possible for everyone, including the adoptive Mum, she even turned up an hour late for the final hearing.

We have been waiting for a placement for almost 6 weeks now and this morning placements rang to ask if I'd take a newborn due next week. I opened my mouth to bite their hand off, so to speak, when the placement officer said "hang on, baby's social worker is Mrs X"

He went on to say he knew what a "difficult" social worker she is and would understand completely if I said no.

He has left me to have a think about this but did point out this baby is the only referral they have had in weeks and he had other carers who are also desperate for a baby.

He reasoned that as I knew how difficult she is I would not be as "green" as other, newer carers.

Should I, or shouldn't I ?

Yes absolutley, its not the little one's fault. You obviously have handled her before so you can do it again!!

When I used to Childmind I would have taken on 100 kids because I alway's used to feel that no-one can look after them as well as I can. Does that sound strange?? haha

You managed the social worker before, so I'm sure you can do it again

You're right disney, and so are you CMOT, I'm just being a complete ditherer today.

Placements are ringing back after lunch so I'm going to say yes

I'm not looking forward to working with her again but I can do my best for the baby and thats all that matters really.

Wish me luck

Good luck!

Good Luck ((((((hugs)))))

Have you accepted now ? Good luck, and may this baby sleep a bit better than your last placement

Flower - as a sw who has worked in fostering & adoption for 30 years (now retired and working independently) I am wondering why you are not making some complaint about this social worker. Foster carers should not have to contend with poor practice. I know sws are all different and foster carers do have their favourites and struggle with others who are maybe not as warm and understanding etc. However this sw is clearly under performing to say the least as even her colleague is admitting there are problems. In annual reviews you do have the opportunity to comment about the sw don't you. Mind I don't think you shouldleave it to your annual review. It sounds to me like you are within your rights to make a calm and rational complaint about this sw to his/her manager. SWs should not be allowed to get away with this kind of thing.

Quick update!

I had a call from placements yesterday telling me that the sw is asking for contact all day, every day and for the foster carer to oversee this.

This would involve a lot of travelling back and forth with a new baby and spending many hours a day with the family. I have done this before but not with the distances involved and, as I don't drive this would be difficult to say the least.

Placements have a carer who is due to take a baby expected later this month and placements are proposing we "swap placements" as she lives a great deal nearer than we do.

This solution seems to be beneficial to all concerned so we are, up to now, going with that plan.

NanaNina..... I have complained long and loud about this sw during the 18 months I worked with her, I presume you mean an "official" complaint though which I've been loathe to do while actually caring for one of her babies IYSWIM.

I never felt confident enough I suppose It is somewhat of a relief to know I won't have to work with her again.

Sounds like the 'placement swap' is the best solution.

What a great solution Flower. Thank goodness it all seemed to work out.

It is very telling (and unprofessional really of him) that another colleague has made quite indiscreet remarks about this sw being so difficult.

I wonder whether he was hinting that they do want you to complain formally? It is a very difficult situation all round when a so-called professional behaves in such a difficult manner.

It is very telling onepiece but he is not, by a very long way, the only sw who has made derogatory remarks about this sw.

I have no idea how she keeps "getting away with it" but she seems to be untouchable.

I tried to help a birth mum who desperately wanted to breast feed her baby even though he was with me. She had a uphill struggle with the sw who told her she was being difficult for wanting to feed her baby herself.

I supplied breastmilk bags and later avent containers and a cool bag which I gave the mum who then went on to supply milk for the baby, albeit with formula supplementing, for 4 months.

The sw reported me for "siding" with the mum

That is very that you were reported by her.

fwiw (I have worked in mental health for many years) I used to have a very difficult colleague. He upset many clients (massive understatement) and was very unprofessional at times. None of us could believe that he kept "getting away with it" Like the woman you mention he seemed to be untouchable.

I think what stopped him from being disciplined was the fact that no one formally complained.

Personally I nearly hit him (i.e. punched him) on one occasion because he was so awful. None of my colleagues could believe it afterwards. I am not proud of that (although I did not actually hit him in the end)

Thankfully he moved on - much to the relief of the whole team and no doubt some of the clients (promoted )

Flower - you sound like SUCH a lovely foster carer but maybe a bit too nice for your own good? Complaints about social workers can take different forms and there is no need to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You don't have to be too confrontational or anything like that, and I know how difficult it is especially when caring for one of "her" children. Could you not include a sentence or two in your annual review report (I think there's space for this isn't there) maybe mentioning that you would like to find a way to work more effectively with this social worker. Anyone reading a comment like this would be sure to be able to read between the lines and knw what you are getting at.

The social worker in question sounds very controlling and usually as I'm sure you know insecurity is at the root of controlling behaviour. She maybe has a team manager who is unable/unwilling to tackle her and thus she "gets away with it" - what do other foster carers think of her. I know from experience that foster carers all discuss the different social workers and their foibles and maybe other carers would be willing to join forces with you and make a complaint.

You say you have complained "loud and long" - how have yu done this and with what effect