Niece(12) wants to move in with us... advice needed plz.

[pinkdolly]

Bit of background info.

My niece is nearly 13. Lives with her mum nearby. Her dad (dh's brother) and her mum seperated when she was about 1. He lives and works in Germany now but sees her whenever he can and is a very supportive caring father.

The situation at home is not good at the moment. dn believes her mum is taking drugs. She has 4 other children all younger then dn by another man. The children are constantly left in the care of a 13 year old whilst the mum goes clubbing 3 nights a week.

The children are currently all sharing a bedroom(except the youngest)which consists of one single bed and mattreses on the floor. The house is a 3 bed but the 3rd is full of junk and unuseable.

dn's dad will buy her things and her mum will take them off her, blackmailing her by saying she will ground her if she doesn't give up her stuff.

They are constantly at each other's throats and dn has had enough. She has expressed a wish to move in with us.

Can anyone give us any advice on this, how should we go about this? and would we even have a case for this?

Thanx for your advice.

I think the biggest problem you would have is legal and financial. The mother might agree but expectto keep legal parental rights and child benefit/maintenance patents etc. You would be effectively without rights re Dn welfare. If SS become involved then maybe they would clarify situation. TBH my Dn did this and was meant to be staying with her aunt but half the time SS didn't know where she was. I has to phone them when her father was taken into custody and no one had joined up the dots and alerted SS that he had a vulnerable 13 year at home alone.

what about the other 4 children?

Perhaps SS should get invloved for the safety of all the children.

This would be private fostering and you would have a legal requirement to inform SS if you did this. You can make the arrangements yourself but the mum would still get the child benefit etc. SS would only support you financially if they agreed that the child was at risk at home and would have intervened in any case, and even then you would have to fight for it!

Can the dad get involved in working something out here? I imagine he would have more legal rights here and his support might make a huge difference to your case.

I would be very concerned about the other children left behind and what could happen to them without the 13yo to look after them. I don't imagine that would stop the mother leaving them at home alone and wonder if they have any relatives that may also be concerned or willing to step in - a team effort may work best! Maybe social services should get involved for their sake.

At least your niece has your love and support no matter what happens - it is sadly more than many children have.