be my parent - how does it work, exactly?

[trampolinequeen]

Hi everyone
I have had the initial chat with my local authority re becoming a foster carer, and should be starting the long drawn out assessment thing in a few weeks.
I am divorced with 1 son, 10, and 2 polite, smallish dogs.
I've just subscribed to BAAF's Bemyparent website and have fallen in love with several children. In particular a girl of 12 and a girl of 5 (not related)both of whom needed long-term fostering.
I called up the LA of the 12 year old - which is fairly local to me - to make an initial enquiry but explained I was about to be assessed by my own LA which is on the doorstep.
They said I can't foster children from 2 different agencies/local authorities - basically I'd have to choose.

First question -
So how does the Bemyparent thing work? It sounds like if you are approved by your own local authority then you can't foster children from elsewhere. So are you supposed to browse children on Bemyparent (which already feels a bit wierd) and apply without first being approved...?

Secondly -
How did it work for any of you who are long term fosterers? How did you meet your children? Were you already signed up with a particular agency and they 'matched' you with someone.

Is it a mutual agreement - i.e. child meets you and decides if they like you and vice versa. Is the child given a choice of several fosterers to choose from?

Would value any insight of how it was for you

thanks

As far as I know you wouldn't be able to take any children until your assessment is completed and you have been "approved"

If your local authority is assessing you then they would match you up with "suitable" child/children so puzzled as to how be my parent would come into it TBH

However we are short term carers so it may be very different for long termers.

You are approved and then the local authority match with a child/sibling group. Then there is a visit or more to see if you want to do this.

Foster child moved in a week after we were approved.

Children are not normally given a choice of carers - the matching is done by the fostering team.

Thanks for replying

On reflection I think Bemyparent is mostly aimed at people who want to adopt, tho it does also have children looking for long term fostering.

I will persevere with my local authority.

It seems if they've gone to the trouble and expense of approving you they don't want you to you foster children from another authority. Which is fair enough, I suppose.

it will be principally because it is usual for the child to have contact with other siblings/family members and also the social workers have to visit a lot and your link worker. It would be a huge demand for everyone to travel out to a different county.

Not to mention coninuing schooling and contact with friendships.

Laurie
Hope you don't mind me asking - are you a long term foster carer? And if so, was long term your first placement? Or did you have to start off with respite or short term care first to get experience?

It's just that as my son still relatively young - ten - I think it might be better to have a child or children who stay permanently and become part of the family - rather than lots of children coming and going for short periods. They will be off again just as we've got close.

I don't mean to be selfish - I can see myself doing short term and more challenging placements in a few years when my son is older or has left home.

Can you opt for long term fostering right from the start?

Hi hopefully I can help a bit here...

I'm an approved foster carer and am hoping to do long term. I was approved by an independent agency rather than my LA and have been looking at BMP etc for a foster child/children. I'm also a single carer and have a young dc.

BMP is for approved adopters / foster carers. I did make some calls about children before I was approved but was always told to call back once I was approved. Since my approval I've enquired about a LOT of children. Most come back unsuitable (eg cant be placed with single carer, are looking for carers in specific areas only, cant be placed with younger children etc). Only a couple of enquiries have been met with a positive response, and so far none of these have turned into a match.

When a match does happen through BMP there are several steps... 1, the SW will respond to your enquiry and ask for further info to be sent (your Form F)... 2, if they still feel you're a possible match a meeting will be arranged for them to visit your home and discuss the child/ren (you should get detailed info about the child/ren before the meeting)... 3, if this goes well, the SWs will have meetings (planning, matching etc) to make the match official (and sometimes there are several possible matches so they could go with another carer after this point)... 4, if all goes well, introductions will be arranged (I think at the matching meeting?) for you to meet the child/ren ? possibly over a couple of weeks, starting out with short visits, then going to over night stays, until the child/ren finally move to you from their ST carer. It's very much like adoption from what I've seen so far, although I don't know if the process is the same for LT carers with an LA.

BMP features the children that LAs are finding hard to place, so I would assume if you are a LT carer with an LA you will be approached with details of children they are looking to place. BMP is good for getting an idea of the types of children in the system, and the sort of needs you may come across, but I'm not sure you would need to find a foster child that way as I'm sure the LA will find a placement for you with one of their own children.

Thanks Hopeful, that was really clear about BMP. I've been back to my LA and they said I could wait a year or more for a long term placement as they get very few - it seems to be short term carers that they are chronically short of.
Would you recommend an agency over a LA? Are your agency trying to match you with someone long term or are you doing short term first?

I went into this not knowing a lot about fostering and thinking I would do short term. The short term placements just haven't happened for me which is probably because I'm with an agency - they've not had any referrals that they could match with me as they get the harder to place children.

It was after looking at BMP that I decided to do long term. I've been approved over a yr and am still waiting, although there is mention of a possible match at the moment. So either way, agency or LA, you might be waiting a long time for a LT placement (I think it takes a lot longer as, like adoption, they like to get the best family they can for the child/ren, which can take a while to find, and then there's all the cancelled meetings etc...)

As for LA vs agency - agency will approve you quicker, but LA have more children to place. Agency pay more, but when placements don't happen you could be a very long time without any fostering income. If you're certain you want to do LT then agency may be better in terms of the training and support you will receive. If you decide to do ST first (which could always turn into LT) then I'd suggest LA as you'll probably have child/ren quite quickly after approval, even if it takes a bit longer to get approved.

If I was starting out now, and knew what I know today, I think I'd go with the LA as they have the placements, gain some experience and then think about long term.

I don't know if my experience with my agency is usual, but they don't seem to have done much about finding me any kind of placement, and I have been the one to make all the enquiries and follow up possible matches. Perhaps you could ring round some agencies in your area and have a chat before you decide to go with the LA. I've found the other agencies I've phoned (since I've been approved as I was thinking of changing) have been very honest about timescales and whether or not they'd take me on in the first place.

Good luck!

Thanks very much Hopeful. Lots to think about!
Good luck to you too, and hope you get a placement soon