Do they speak to children of potential foster carers?

[2beautifulgalsandabean]

Just had a call from my Father to say my mother (they are divorced have been for 20+ years)Has applied to be a foster carer and they maybe contacting me.
However i do not have any contact with my mother, we fell out nearly 2 years old and i no longer want a relationship with her. I am in my late 20's with children of my own.
Will whoever she has registered with contact me and what will they ask? I told my dad i would not be vindictive but i was not going to lie either, so depends what they ask.
She has a lot of problems or did have and that is why i could no longer have her as part of my life.
I actually feel very angry that they may contact me.

no idea, but if they do, then tell the truth. (you have not had any contact for 2 years, so you do not know how she is now, but the reason you no longer speak is because of 1, 2, 3..."

You owe it to the children that may be placed with her to not lie, don't you?

My husbands parents are foster carers and he was not asked for his opinion.

No i don't want to lie, thats just the point.
Maybe they have said they will contact me because we are no longer in contact get my side of things.
I really don't know what i would say to be honest. The woman does nothing but haunt me why should i help her out in any way. I know exactly why she is doing fostering because she no longer has anyone to control ie, me and the kids.

All you can do is tell the truth - and if you truly think she would be damaging to any children she fostered, then I think you have a duty to not wait to be contacted, but to contact ss yourself and raise your concerns.

do you think she would be a good foster carer...despute any fallings out you have had?

If so then you wont be helping her, you;ll be helping various children out of care homes.

If youhave reservations then tell the SW that if they call.

It certainly isn't typical to speak to grown up children but if something has flagged up that may be why they want your side of events.

but, otoh, maybe - is there any chance she feels terrible about how things are with you, realises how badly she did things and is in some way seeking to 'do things over' - to have another chance to be a better parent?

they usually want to - though she could put them off

they wanted to contact my ex-husband (who I didn't have children with)

yes they do. they try to involve you as much as poss. my mum became a foster carer when i was 17. the social workers came and had an informal chat with me and my younger sister asking us how we would feel having foster children in the house etc.

they also follow it up with questionairres later on asking you to write down what you like and dislike about the foster children. which foster child you get on with the best and why.

at christmases you get vouchers/ a present from the fostering agency also. its just all to help you feel involved...