ok long one please advise

[rowe]

Hi, well i will start at the begining {its a good place}We are a married couple with four children 17 ,6,2,1 and my unlce has had his four children taken in to care. The older three are 5,4,3 and by the time i found out it was {apparently }to late to do enything as they had been adopted! but then in febuary this year we found out that they were having another child and we approched social services and said we would take the child on as a family member only to find out the other three hadn't been adoppted. So we said we would have them all ,but on the adviso that my uncle didn't know were we lived and it was poo pooed we havent herd from them since .Well the youngest is 7weeks now and we saw them on a visist with them and we spoke and he was telling us what was going on . We came away feeling flumacst and really unsure of what to do! The reason for him not knowing where we wwere was that he was so angry that his kids had been taken away {understand able} but he has calmed down so much and we realy want to help if he can find a family member to have them he wouldnt lose them completely .! We are going to meet with a new social worker this week but are we doing the right thing ! What boundrise are put in place ? What are visiting time ? do we decide or the soacial workers ?its all so worrrying any guidence???Sorry if i waffled.

It sounds like a very difficult situation for all concerned. You say that SS rejected your suggestion of taking on the 4 children on the proviso the family were not allowed contact etc, are you sure this is because of the no contact stipulation? Or is it possible that it is because you already have 4 children of your own and taking on another 4 would be a massive commitment, even for the most dedicated foster carer.

I have no personal experience of fostering, but afaik ss are usually very keen to maintain contact between children and birth families, although if your uncle has had no contact with his children since they were removed I would imagine this is for very good reason.

I would be careful about speaking to the uncle about this tbh. To have 4 children taken into care, including one presumably at birth is very, very serious. Your relationship with this uncle and your potential relationship with these children needs to be two separate issues. It is for SS to set the boundaries as to whether this family will be allowed any future contact with their children, if you are permitted to take on these children you will need to put their interests first.

Tbh given you already have 4 children of your own I would imagine it unlikely that SS would place another 4 children with you. Is there no other family member who could take on these children?

You should put your request to be considered as carers for these children in writing to the Social Services department-or the current social worker and state that you wish to be assessed. Without knowing more about the situation of the older four children cannot say whether you would be successful there.
However in respect of the new baby-care proceedings are unlikley to be concluded and you must be proactive regards this cild.
Ask for contact. If the local authority refuse to assess you-get a solicitor and apply to be joined to the care proceedings and get yourself assessed that way.
Children should be retained within the birth family if at all possible so they will have to give real consideration to your request.
Good luck

no other member .don't mind him having contact sorry just didnt want him to know where we lived ! Just incase he tried eny thing daft ! I understand what you mean bout it been a big responceability we have thought very hard about it and just want to keep them with our "roots" that looks like it might sound sillythankyou for anserwing its been a long nite of thinking

I'm not convinced they would be placed with you anyway - sorry...but with your children still young....I think it is very likely that social services may need to place these children somewhere else, where they could be given much more input and attention. I think to have 8 children in the house, 9 of those under ten years old would be a very hard thing for you to pull off, not that people DON'T do it but these children are going to have extra needs and quite possibly attachment issues.

I think (IMO) that it may be better for them to be placed with other carers but you could offer loads of loving contact so that they have close family they are able to make a lasting bond with.

also meant to say, don't feel emotionally blackmailed by your uncle, about the 'not losing them completely' thing; social services WANT children to have contact with their family...it will be down to your uncle's own behaviour to be honest, whether he 'loses them completely'....if he is no risk to them, basically, he will be allowed contact! It's not up to YOU to keep HIS contact with his children, that is solely his responsibility...

basically, yes to answer your question in the OP, social services will decide where the kids are placed, it's their responsibility to do that.

If I were you I'd ask for a meeting with the social worker and get them to explain things to you. Good luck.

thankyou for ansering i just wanted ainsiders view and i think will give them a bell even if its just to see i can have a meeting and descuss things with the ss

agree with HG that you are probably looking to take too much on with all of the children but you could make a difference with the baby. It is not uncommon for family to come forward at a late stage-they have to give serious consideration to your offer of care
Good luck