Support for friends recently approved to foster.

[Sidebend]

Some dear friends have recently been approved as foster carers. They are a youngish couple and don't have kids of their own. It's going to upend their life in all kinds of ways so I would love suggestions from people who have been there, of how best I can support them through the coming months.

You could volunteer to be their nominated carers so that you can look after the kids if needed at any time (they can’t leave foster kids with babysitters etc)!

I work in fostering, for foster carers it’s a hard job but also so rewarding. They will gave a supervising social worker who will support them. But becoming part of their support network I’m sure would really help.

I think putting yourself forward as someone who can look after the child/ren could be really helpful. Carers don’t get much down time and being a foster carer can be physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting. Having someone to offer a few hours or a sleepover can make a huge difference.

also, I know lots of carers feel judged by people in how they are parenting. They are often not using “traditional” approaches and those who don’t understand the need for therapeutic parenting for traumatised children often mistake it as being too soft / letting them then “get away” with some pretty difficult behaviours. So try to be supportive of their methods and not judgemental.

Oh and they may need to cancel at the last minute, or not be able to do things they usually would because the child may not be able to manage it. They will be expected to prioritise the child and go at the pace they can manage. So try to be understanding if they inadvertently let you down.

I’ve seen lots of friendships and family relationships under pressure due to this.

Thank you. I do think it's going to be hard on them. I hope they get support from social workers and I know they will from their parents, but I want to be an ally as much as I can.

They sound like amazing people I guess just offering words of encouragement would be a good start. If you have children yourself maybe ask them from the off if they would appreciate any offers of feedback or how they could perhaps do things differently? Establish some boundaries so they don’t feel you’re stepping on toes but they know they have honest opinions and support if they want it.