Share Your Experience

[TheChaosCoordinator]

Hi Everyone,

I’m new here and really keen to learn about other foster carers’ journeys. I’d love to hear your honest experiences — the day-to-day reality, the challenges, and the things you wish you’d known when you first started.

I’m not looking for recruitment pitches or polished “it’s all wonderful” stories. I get a lot of that already, but then I see online reviews that don’t always match what’s been said.
What I really want is genuine insight from those who have been there — what to look out for, how to protect yourself, and what has truly helped you along the way.

Thanks so much in advance for sharing your experiences.

I don't recommend doing it at all. You have good intentions but they will quickly be destroyed by how poorly you are treated by the children's social worker and also by the local authority you are signed up with. They don't care about you! The children's behaviour is appalling and when you ask for help and support they keep blaming you for the child's behaviour. They excuse all behaviours as trauma even though you fear for your safety daily due to the children that have been placed with you because of how violent and abusive they are. You tell them your preferred age and they ignore that and place really violent children with you who threaten you daily and actually hit you, spit on you and injure you. You can document all you like, no support will be given to you and you are just a nothing to these people. You are ignored and disrespected daily by the children, the team around the child and I really don't recommend going into it lightly. You are told about how amazing the local authority is or about how amazing the agency is because the people telling you this are being paid up to £3,000 to recruit you into the fold. They hide all the children's behaviours from you because if they let foster carers know what the children are really like nobody would take them on as a placement. If you do decide to go ahead ensure that you are signed up to the union as at least if anything happens they will be able to assist you. You can Google and find them online under: nupfc.com

Thank you for sharing your experience as it’s been really helpful. I find that I usually only hear the positive side of fostering, and rarely about the challenges, so your honesty means a lot.
Agencies often focus on the positives when you call with questions, sometimes steering the conversation away from your concerns, so it’s hard to get a full picture. Reading about how many carers leave the system each month has made me want to be as informed as possible before making any big decisions.
I also really appreciate you mentioning the Union as I had no idea it even existed! I’d only ever heard of the Fostering Network, so this is a great tip. Much appreciated.

Agree with PinkGypsy, too many bad social workers, most don’t care about the children never mind carers. You will have every little part of you life analysed and scrutinised, everything you say to a social worker will be documented, you can foster because you love fostering, do everything and more but they will find something to make into a problem, they will find a reason to blame a carer other than accepting responsibility. Not all children in care are violent and aggressive, the children can be easier than the social workers