Foster to adopt ?

[worldwidetravel2017]

Hey all

We have miscarriage history
And are now doing ivf

Obv ivf is for a ' chance '

It may work - may not.

Id be very interested in hearing about peoples fostering experience s ?

Ive always had fostering in my mind - for years

Fostering and adoption are very different. Personally I would struggle to be a foster carer (facilitating contact, knowing the baby may be returned to birth parents) if I wanted to adopt. But other people are happy with that risk, and of course it is better for the baby to have as few changes as possible if family reunification isn't possible.

I came into adoption through fostering, older children, and there was a real possibility at one point (a couple of years into long term fostering) that my daughters would go back to birth family, despite numerous red flags and the girls having serious reservations.

The judge, thank goodness, listened to the children, and they stayed with me, and I went onto adopt them. It was a grim 6-8 months, trying to be positive for them while being incredibly worried about their future plus dealing with my own potential loss.

@worldwidetravel2017

As you have two threads running I'll just reply to this one.
Your title on this one is a bit confusing- are you interested in adopting or fostering? They are very different things.
Adoption severs the legal tie with the birth family. The children are legally yours.
At the end of the day fostering is a job. You may care very much for your foster children, but they are not legally yours, you have restrictions on what you can do, you have social workers in your life and will probably have to facilitate meetings with birth family.
There are different types of fostering, by age , long term, short term, emergency, respite.
There is a specific scheme called foster to adopt where a child is placed with a family whilst the court processes are concluded. It does carry the risk that the child will be returned to their family.
The process for fostering is very similar.
You can go to a local authority or agency. You will be assigned a social worker who will do your assessment. You will have a medical and will need to provide referees. You will need a DBS check. There is a training course which is usually 3 - 4 days.
At the end of your assessment the SW produces a report and you go to approval panel.
Subject to approval, with adoption you then go on to seek a match with a child, you then go back to another panel for approval to be matched with that individual child. You apply to the courts for the adoption order, a minimum of 3 months after the child moves in with you.
With fostering, your SW will refer children to you. You also have to complete a huge evidence file within a year of approval and have to do mandatory training.
I'm both an adopter and have been fostering for about 18 months. In that time I've had 2 young people, one has just moved on. I've found it very tough, although I have had the most difficult age group though and the placements haven't ended as I would have wished.
Having said I feel like I've done the job I was asked to do, which was to care for these children to the best of my ability.
My son has been home 13 years. In that time I've met dozens of adopters and foster carers. It's not always easy, lots of us have significant problems to deal with, but I don't know many who regret their decisions.

Thank you

Fostering is like a job. One you care about enormously but with goals that are completely different to adopting.

We attended an information evening about fostering and adoption ran by our local council, which was helpful. You could see if yours does these?

It’s worth keeping in mind they may have issues around you doing this while your IVF is ongoing. I don’t know if it’s currently true but when we looked into it years ago they needed a certain amount of time to have passed between stopping IVF/dealing with loss and starting the fostering or adoption process.

Hi
we have just done foster to adopt and unfortunately the worse case scenario has happened to us . If you do do it please make sure you have all the information needed to make an informed decision and that you have the support needed if it goes wrong . We had our little girl from birth to 9 month old

So sorry to hear that

It must be very painful

I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Fostering can be a truly rewarding way to give a child a loving home. Many people find it life-changing. If you’re curious, there are many agencies that offer great support and guidance for new Foster Carers.

Thank you
Might foster in the future

Currently preg with our ivf miracle