The Basics - What to buy a child who turns up with not much

[potenial]

Hi Folks,

I know each child will be different depending on age, interests etc, but I was wondering if anyone has a list (with quantities) of what they buy a child who turns up with just what they're wearing, or with very little, immediately (or very soon after arrival)?
This might be an amount you 'top them up to', so for example, if a child turns up with 3 tops, do you buy them more up to top up to a certain number? Or are there things you make sure they get within a certain amount of time with you?

Thanks!

A selection of kids toothbrushes and toothpaste incase they arrive late at night with nothing.

Supermarkets often go basic t shirts and leggings. Probably handy having one set of each in a few sizes as emergency pjs or day outfit if you don’t know child sizes beforehand.

A small selection of books to suit different ages. Julia Donaldson type are good for quite a large age range.

Craft basically to suit range. Crayons, sticker, papers will cover most 1-8 year olds for the first 24hrs. Duplo. Bubbles for garden.

Mini bags Haribo. What kids don’t like Haribo.

My friend’s parents were emergency foster carers in Oz. She told me of the late night phone call, the activity as a room was prepared, the shutting of a police car door outside, low conversations, footsteps around the house; then waking to one or two traumatised children at their breakfast table, often with one of their own parents exhausted having stayed up all night with these kids.

Heroes.

thank you to all of the wonderful people on this thread looking out for these children ❤️

Oh my word @Ted27 - this is wonderful! Thankyou for sharing - I will be using this and sharing with SW colleagues!

@potenial

Sorry I mis understood, I thought you meant things to have in.

BTW can I say THANK YOU to you and all the other fosterers on here. It's something I couldn't do, and I know others couldn't.

Am thinking that we can choose some lovely things for these children 🤗

https://www.gov.uk/becoming-foster-parent/help-with-the-cost-of-fostering

The minimum is usually between £165 and £289 a week

@beetr00

Are you already a foster carer or wanting to be one?

thanks folks!

I'm pretty good for 'things to have in the house already' - bedding, books, toiletries, craft stuff, snacks and spare holdall.

I like the idea of buying a weeks worth of clothes as a basis the first day they arrive, and then scheduling a shopping trip asap to top for some more items a little bit in.
It sounds like lots of people actually think slightly less that I was initially thinking, so it's good to get some perspective!

Thanks for sharing the links to the bags and madlug too - I wasn't aware of them, but that's really useful!

Full disclosure, I'm not actually a fully qualified foster parent yet, but am just doing some planning and getting my ducks in a row, and couldn't find much about this online! Thanks to everyone for your suggestions!

The point I am making is, @Ted27 that FC's are generously remunerated

so "got socks, pants, pjs and a couple of changes of clothes and some extra school uniform

a couple more pairs of shoes, track pants, jeans, tshirts, couple of hoodies, rain jacket" from Sainsbury's!

It is not that altruistic, as some are suggesting and certainly not 165 quids worth?

I was obviously being ironical, but crack on, maybe even buy a wee wheelie case as @FondantFancyFan suggested!!

Am I being unnecessarily harsh though?

Children are not issued with bin bags for their belongings. It can happen if they arrive from home. I'm not saying it never happens if children are moving between homes but it us an absolute no no and would be addressed with who ever did this.

The weekly allowance FC's get covers more than just clothing.

I'm also not sure when you last looked at the price of clothing, but that list could easily come to £165 in a supermarket!

I'm also asking, and therefore being told, about the basics to start a child off - not about everything they're ever bought - for example, I'd expect a child who has been in a stable placement a few months to have more than two pairs of shoes, and have extras like swimming costumes, toys and games, sports kit etc, but they wouldn't be things you'd necessarily buy within the first week of placement.

@potenial

"I'm also not sure when you last looked at the price of clothing, but that list could easily come to £165 in a supermarket!"

really? This is not actually true. Packs of underwear, socks, general clothing about £7 a pop?

just for example

@beetr00

The average FC is not generously renumerated.
At the point that child arrived I had received no money at all. In fact I still have not been reimbursed for the money I spent that first weekend. So that was out of my own pocket. As was the £200 plus that I spent the next week when it was clear he would be staying with me.
The money is not just for 'lovely things' it's for food, activities, transport, birthday and Christmas presents.

The question that was asked was what do you get for a child who turns up with nothing, not how do FCs spend the money.
Shall I tell you what I've spent money on in the last year?
Yes there have been lovely things like holidays and days out.
I've also paid out £200 to a carpenter after my foster child kicked down three doors. I've just had to replace my TV after my current child smashed the old one. He's also broken one of my dining chairs this weekend and hammered a hole in his bedroom wall. He's slammed his door so hard and so often the door frame needs repairing. He's broken the bed which will need to be replaced.
He's currently not in school so I'm spending a small fortune on days out to places with some educational value. This week alone I spent about £75 on one afternoon out.
There is nothing wrong with buying supermarket clothes, particularly in an emergency and nowhere else is open and you don't actually know how big the child is. But rest assured he is now dressed in M&S, Next, River Island with a bit of Primark. I hope that meets with your approval.
And how do you thinks FCs live and pay their bills. Did you know many FCs are so poorly paid they claim Universal Credit ?

yes, socks and underwear packs about £7a pop.

But from scratch, you're talking about £200 for the items listed (I've just popped a few bits into a sainsbury's online basket to check this).

For a six year old girl; T-shirt multipacks are £16, 3 pack of plain black leggings are £10.50, shoes about £15 a pair, jeans £13, jogger and hoodie sets £16,coat £22, PJs about £9 each. It all adds up very quickly - this alone comes to over £100, and doesn't include any underwear or school uniform, and wouldn't last a child a week.

FC's are paid an allowance, but it doesn't cover everything the child needs, which most know when they get into it. A weekly allowance definitely doesn't cover a whole wardrobe for a child from the moment they arrive, hence in part,me starting this thread to ask others who've been in this situation what they buy if a child turned up with nothing!

you're aware that even £289 isn't a lot of money a week to be earning right?
That's £15,028 a year - a full time job on minimum wage pays about £26,000 a year!

The money didn't even come up on this thread until you've brought it up - I've asked for suggestions of what to buy, and amounts, clearly you're not in, and have never been in a similar situation, and I've got no idea what you're doing on this thread or in this board in the first place!

@potenial we've cross posted.

"But from scratch, you're talking about £200 for the items listed (I've just popped a few bits into a sainsbury's online basket to check this)".

NOT every single week though, @potenial

@beetr00

You are insuating that FCs are making money off children which is wrong and quite frankly insulting to people looking after the most vulnerable children in our society under very difficult conditions

@potenial

"and I've got no idea what you're doing on this thread or in this board in the first place!"

an absolutely fair comment from you @potenial

my thinking is that our children are not just money making opportunities, neither are those who belong to others?

Minimum £164 is reasonable to nurture a child who has the misfortune to be in this position

@beetr00

Could you keep a roof over a child's head, on £164 a week.
You clearly have an agenda here

Now why does it not surprise me, that you are not a foster carer.

I'm not even a foster carer.
we all could have guessed that.

@beetr00

So you can pay rent/mortgage, council tax, gas, electricity, water, tv license, food, clothes, transport, phone etc etc on under £800 a month

Perhaps you could share your budget to help us foster carers out ?
And its quite obvious you are not a foster carer

do please educate me then @Youareadickandyouknowit and @gravyship

I am really not just some uneducated, unthinking, uncaring, person on MN

I am absolutely willing to be proven incorrect, for purely, which is obviously, just my opinion