Inspired by another thread here discussing fostering vs kinship care I wanted to share my experiences of fostering sibling groups and welcome any questions.
I wanted to explain my view of the relationship I have with the children who live with me. some of the comments made about foster families is that as soon as the child reaches 18 they are on their own and out of the family. Sadly this is often the case and I do see this happen. It is also sad that statistics show so many homeless people were in the foster system as children and the same with prisoners and offenders. A high proportion were in care. For me I hope to have the children I look after as my children forever.
I have a sibling group that I have in my care and they are like my own children. I intend to be there as their mother for the rest of my life. One of the children is over 18 and still lives at home with me. They have no intention of leaving home for the foreseeable future. I think they trust that I am not just a carer but that this is a permanent home.
I think that children should be with family wherever possible but it’s not always easy to find a family member willing to take children on particularly when there are several children who want to stay together.
the children in my care have birth family, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc but none have approached us to keep in touch with the children. They don’t send cards for special occasions and it’s unknown how they feel about the children being in care and I don’t know whether they feel that they have been pushed out of the children’s lives or whether they just have no interest in them.
i think that my family is very unusual and I wish that was not the case. I am devoted to the children and I love them dearly. I know that not all foster families are like mine. I would actually like to foster more children but social workers would not want me to take any more on because they want the children to have all my focus.
My life is very full. I have a lot of work to do and it’s not easy but it’s definitely very rewarding.
I’m trying to work out a plan to get financially stable so that when I’m older and retired I can somehow still support the children. Foster carers don’t have pensions and don’t have secure incomes.
Apologies if this is not very well written. It’s very late at night but I wanted to post because of the other thread about this topic from the viewpoint of connected family hearing that a family member is in care and not knowing what to do. My children are on the other side of this and it’s not talked about much.
also it’s only an anonymous forum that allows me to discuss anything about my family. I don’t talk to people in real life about this aspect of our lives. Feel free to ask me anything and I’ll answer as long as it doesn’t identify us. I have name changed but I’m here all the time.