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Fostering

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Grandchildren and son

2 replies

Lillyjean6 · 21/06/2023 12:08

Has anyone had involvement with Social Services. My sons ex partner has been told there is a huge possibility of the children being removed from her care due to neglect the home being a tip and her smoking and buying weed rather than feeding the kids. As my sons parents we have been asked if we could have the children . We have said yes but as the children's needs are great one of us would have to give up full time employment to care for the children. So we explained to the social services that financially this would not work. So they have asked us to become foster parents and be paid. We have been going through all the checks .
My son who is the parent of the children has been told he should be able to have the children but has to collect kids each weekend and bring them too my home. Which is ok but know the social are literally making my husband feel guilty if we work alternative weekends. Plus we have other grandchildren who were missing out on. I feel awful as the social services seem to forget we have other family.
We have already made huge changes in our lives to accommodate the children if they come to live with us. Our older and only remaining son is moving out so the children have there own space . I've told my employer that there's a possibility one day i may not come to work as the children may be brought to our home.
While i understand its important to have the kids we both work 40 plus hours a week and were exhausted.

OP posts:
Jeannieofthelamp · 21/06/2023 14:49

Hi OP, I don't have personal experience but have you looked at Kinship Compass? Someone I know got a lot of support from them in similar circumstances. Assuming you are approved as foster carers will you then be in a position for one of you to give up work or at least go part time? It sounds like both of you working 40 hours won't be sustainable once the children move.

Justchooseone · 21/06/2023 14:57

Firstly it must have been a really hard decision to do this, well done. It also sounds like you’re sacrificing a lot.

Can I ask why your son is not having the kids? Surely he would at least be able to help out quite a lot?
You’ve mentioned you and your husband working alternate weekends but also said that one of you would give up work so I’m not really sure what you mean or what you’re asking.

In the nicest possible way - social services just want the kids cared for and to not have to find other carers for them. They aren’t really going to be bothered about the rest of your family they just want to close the case.

You’re doing an amazing thing. The kids will be so much better off with you. I’m so sorry you are exhausted.

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