How to handle stealing

[Madwife123]

We are kinship carers fostering my niece and nephew.

We have noticed over the last few months money going missing. At first small amounts but recently my daughters birthday money and my adult sons money. We began to suspect this was being taken.

We were then informed that nephew, age 13, had been caught buying vapes in school and when his bag was checked he had a large sum of money on him, over £100. When questioned he admits stealing it. He has gone into bedrooms where he is not allowed to enter and searched to find this money. His response was he can do what he wants and we can’t stop him etc.

He is right. We don’t know how we can stop this. My daughter (10) is devastated to learn her cousin has been stealing from her and it’s really affected the household.

I understand this is related to his past and the trauma he has experienced but equally he needs to learn to stop. It’s impossible to watch him at all times as we both work and as we have discovered moving money into areas he isn’t supposed to access doesn’t work either.

Any advice?

Please don't try demand it. Big difference taking in a strangers family than your own Kin. You don't get rich being a career- the money is there to make it viable for kinship carers - not to make it a lucrative career.

I

Not sure anyone can class 50 quid a day as a lucrative career ! OP has said that taking this child in has caused them to give up work. I suspect they were earning more than £50 per day in their job/career.

My purse was emptied by a FC - £150. We couldn't prove it as such, so since then I never kept any cash in the house.

I'm a FC too. The child I foster takes things that don't belong to him sometimes money, my debit card, he used to go into my eldest son's room and take his X box games. He has a learning disability so it's difficult to know how much he understands. I've put locks on the doors of my 2 DS's and our bedroom door. I've told DS's if they don't lock their doors knowing FS takes things it's their own fault if he goes in and touches their things. My son's are adults. What helped us was FS used to wake up in middle of the night and go down stairs and take stuff. Our SW suggested we get an alarm on his door so we knew when he was up in the night.

Just so people know Foster Children do get generous pocket money every month so have no need to steal.