Going to fostering panel without SW support, are we going to be rejected?

[Lostintheeither]

So the basics of the case are my 2 baby nephews were taken into care a year ago. We immediately said we would take them but we're initially we were to far away and they were hoping to return them to their parents subject to some conditions. Come December the social worker supposedly called me to see if we would have the boys. I have no record of any calls from anyone on the day they apparently called. And they didn't call again until May this year. At this point they were very close to putting them up for adoption when they remembered that actually they had family wanting them. When they called obviously we said yes. They told us there would be an assessment that would take about 3 months, it's now been 6! Over the past 6 months we have jumped through loops done everything they have asked of us and more. At the same time they haven't allowed us to meet the boys (never met them because they were born during covid and taken into care as soon as everything opened up again), I've had to chase them for any kind of information and they have lost 2 of my references. Last week our medicals went in and they have determined that because my husband and I are both overweight and he has other medical issues like diabetes, asthma and a leg ulcer we are not fit to be foster carers! Our SW basically said we won't make it through panel because she won't support us! Bare in mind she tells us this 10 days before we are due to go to panel. But we aren't willing to give up so easy and have told her we will go to panel and let them decide. But are we doomed to fail? Are we just setting ourselves up for heartbreak?

I sit on adoption/fostering panels. We wouldn't even allow someone to come before the panel unless the SW was supporting it. I don't think your panel will see you or they will defer for further assessment.

Oh dear. Your husband certainly doesn't sound like an ideal physical candidate to give these poor babies a sustainable home. I think you may need to let this go. Fighting on is only going to delay them getting settled with a family.

How will you go to panel without a positive SW assessment? Ive taken several families to panel, part of the panel is the SW being grilled by the panel members of elements in the assessment. It is perfectly normal for a SW to tell you that they won't take you with short notice, when evidence comes to light that is negative, eg the medicals, poor references etc, your engagement with professionals/ the process.

If you’ve failed the medical and don’t have sw support I doubt you’ll get seen.

Also between December and May what was your engagement with the process? If you let it drift and make zero contact, this would not have looked good on your assessment. Medicals are also requested at initial point of assessment.

You offered to have them, but didn't chase when you heard nothing for nearly 6 months - this suggests words not being backed up with actions.

Add being overweight AND significant health issues.

Sorry, but you don't sound at all suitable for two very young children who have already been separated from their parents.

Between December and May I was in constant contact with their father. 3 times the parents were told they would be getting them back and 3 times social services determined that they wouldn't be returning them. And medicals weren't requested until last month. References all came back fine but they lost 2 of them so had to be filled in again.

The children would have had to go to a different panel after rehabilitation failed in order to establish they would be going for permanence. They will now be starting this process. They will keep the children at the centre and it may just be that, despite being family, you are not considered to be the right family for them. It all sounds very difficult but i get the impression that SS just don't think you are suitable to care for these children.

I am a foster carer and both DH and I are overweight and both asthmatic but non of us have other health issues. We have been Foster Carers for 11 years and have cared for 1 boy with complex needs for 10 years now he is in our long term care until 18 but will stay with us as long as he wants after that as we have plenty of bedrooms. We do annual health assessments but I do worry if we had to start from scratch if we would pass medicals now.

How old are you both

You might not know, but what is the child's Guardian supporting?

One of the difficulties is that often the courts will push and push for more assessments on parents even if the SW assessment is that the parents are not likely to be able to care for the child, but are forced to carry out further assessments.

You wont be able to see the children unless there is a clear care plan for them to be placed with you as if you were introduced and then didnt continue to have any relationship with them that would be confusing

But adoption is the completely last resort, so all other possibilities have to be completely fully assessed and counted out if adoption is going to be the plan. But you dont sound like you have or havent been counted out

Is this for a connected person fostering plan, because young babies need legal permanence, so wouldnt have a plan for long term fostering, they would need to have either an SGO plan or adoption plan even if that is with family. Are you SGO applicants?

Maybe they think a fresh start out of your family is best for those children?
Especially given you've been in contact with the children's father.
Time to let the children have a fresh start I think

Children will be placed with family wherever its possible and safe. They also need legal permanency so there is very very rarely a plan for foster care until they're 18 for young babies like these

Usually family are assessed as SGO carers and will need to set out how they plan to enable the children to continue to have a relationship with their birth parents. There may be ways of doing that in cases of risk such as only letter box contact or supervised contact but a contact plan is something that the SGO applicants need to be able to work to.

Phone the Family Rights Group tomorrow and talk through your options with them
0808 801 0366
frg.org.uk/get-help-and-advice/

Thank you for giving me some answers that I couldn't even get out off ss, all that they keep saying is were brought in so late in the proceedings that they haven't had time to go through everything with us. In actual fact it's been 6 months of me searching online to find out what's happening and what could happen next. Honestly it's been a farce! They said family foster with a look at SGO in the future but they would definitely be with us until they were 18 and as far as I'm concerned long after that too. My biggest fear is they will get put up for adoption and be separated. The oldest has some medical issues and may get lost in the system. Hubby and I are 39 and 40 and we have a 5 year old that has been listening to our conversations and hoping for his cousins to come to us.

You seem to be making assumptions about why they were taken from their parents. When in actual fact this is a case of babies having babies.

Why is your 5 year old aware of the situation at this stage? Thats inappropriate

Are you or arent you having an SGO assessment?

What is the child's Guardian supporting?

When did you present as an option and did you have a viability assessment?

Have you been to a family group conference?

The above are all standard procedures within these processes and court oversight rarely lets things drift in the way you imply so something isnt right about what you're saying, unless you're not describing it properly

Our 5 year old is aware because the social worker came to see us and spoke to him about it. He doesn't know the ins and outs only what he picked up from talking to her and what he's heard us talking about. I think we must have presented as an option back in May when we're contacted and viability assessment was done by the end of June. We've not been to any family group conferences. When I ask questions I get a standard response that usually includes its because you were brought in so late or its because you are so far away. And no idea what the guardian is supporting.

There's alot that we seem to have missed out on. And it has felt at time that this whole process has been more of a due diligence thing before they do whatever they want to do anyway. Both parents are in support of them coming to us but I doubt they will have any say

Good luck op.

Have you had an assessment as SGO applicants?

You talked about going to a panel so you must have been assessed as some degree of carer at the moment, have you seen a copy of the assessment, what was the recommendation

A child that young would not normally be spoken to within a viability assessment about potential babies who in reality he may never meet.

He might be spoken to during a fuller assessment but usually to talk about his school and home life.

If you havent been to an conference how did you present yourself as alternative carers?

Lots of things dont make sense in the way you're describing it.