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Fostering

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

Original poster

Fostering my sister's children

9 replies

r1ch04 · 15/09/2022 23:35

I am currently actively trying to foster my sisters children and need help and support. My sister has had her children taken. One newborn and the second a 2 year old. I was firm with my opinion at the early stages and said I wouldn't be taking on anyone else's children. Once I realized they were being taken I said I'd take them on. Little did I realize what was involved. The day after mentioning it I got a call and the next day an assessment. The chap who visited was courteous and said I'd hear soon. I called him after a few days and he said it was with his manager. A few days later we received a letter saying we hadn't been successful for temporary fostering due to not being prepared at the time. So this is still ongoing and it's come to a point where we hear nothing and don't actually know what's going on. They want us to take 6 months off work and get a bigger house etc but if we do these things are we going to get these children. I don't want to move house for them to say sorry you can't have them. It's like we are doing this for a job. Almost like an extended interview but you have to do this, this and this for them to say I'm sorry you still don't qualify. I lts stressing us so bad at the moment because we have no guidance. Is this normal for a family member when trying to keep children in the family. Thanks in advance

OP posts:
blockpavingismynightmare · 15/09/2022 23:37

I think you need to clarify some of these points with them OP. Ask questions so you know exactly where you stand.

What a nice thing you are doing. I hope it all works out for you

Original poster
r1ch04 · 16/09/2022 08:49

I have contacted them yesterday and all I get is I will raise this with my manager. The person I'm dealing with gives the final decision so surely she doesn't need to speak to her manager if the power is in her hands. The process is so frustrating. We are doing everything they ask and it's becoming a nightmare. All whilst this is going on the kids have been with 2 different foster families within 7 weeks.

OP posts:
felulageller · 16/09/2022 09:02

What you mean is being a kinship carer, not a foster carer.

There are completely different rules for each.

If there isn't a court order your DSIS can make the decision herself for you to have them.

Does she/ the father not want you to have them? That would complicate things.

In general local authorities will be singing in the street to find a kinship carer over kids being in foster care. It's so much cheaper for them!!

Showmethefood · 18/09/2022 16:52

See I really want to foster - but it’s these kind of stories and rules that really put me off. I get these kids need and deserve protection but you feel as though everything in your life has to be deemed “perfect” in order to actually be a foster carer.

Quitelikeit · 18/09/2022 16:56

I agree with a pp usually the authorities will jump at the chance to place the children within the family!!!

something here sounds very off

i really doubt you are being considered as a serious option as in my LA the first thing to do is look within the family

if you were being assessed for fostering it would be a different team who comes to assess your suitability

Original poster
r1ch04 · 19/09/2022 08:38

That's the concern, myself and my wife feel the same. They normally arrange to come and visit you etc. I have no idea when the next visit will be. It's as though they don't want the children kept in the family. Everything we are doing and trying to put better for them doesn't count, they have another task for us to tackle. It's like a constant movement of goal posts.

As we aren't familiar with this we don't know if this is just how it works.

OP posts:
f0stercarer · 20/09/2022 08:51

Showmethefood · 18/09/2022 16:52

See I really want to foster - but it’s these kind of stories and rules that really put me off. I get these kids need and deserve protection but you feel as though everything in your life has to be deemed “perfect” in order to actually be a foster carer.

You certainly dont need to have a perfect life to be accepted as a foster carer. However you do need to be mentally tough to fight the children's corner and if you are that easily put off then it might not be for you.

Original poster
r1ch04 · 20/09/2022 10:07

Update. I have spoken to a friend who has recently fostered from the same organisation and he has confirmed that what I am going through is the norm. He said he didn't hear for weeks at a time between visits etc and was left in the dark all the time. This is exactly what we are going through. I will keep my fingers crossed that no news is good news.

OP posts:
Original poster
r1ch04 · 20/09/2022 10:07

Update. I have spoken to a friend who has recently fostered from the same organisation and he has confirmed that what I am going through is the norm. He said he didn't hear for weeks at a time between visits etc and was left in the dark all the time. This is exactly what we are going through. I will keep my fingers crossed that no news is good news.

OP posts:
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