What age is your preferred foster child age to look after?

[Surburbia]

Would be interested to hear what are people's favoured ages for fostering?

Advantages/disadvantages of different age groups?

And girls or boys? Again, advantages and disadvantages.

Our rule was that our foster children would be younger than our own children. This worked well - both for the children we cared for and our own (who were a brilliant and fun support team).

It is hard to generalise using the ages/sex of children. We did find that they were usually 'younger' than their age or appearance and needed to go back a stage at times - to catch up on missed childhood I think.

I have a boy of 15. He has with me since he was 5. I love him to bits. He has SN but is a brilliant cricketer and plays for a county team at disability cricket. He was cute at 5, georgious at 8 and 9, worked hard at school and with tutors through early teens now our superstar at 15. He is hoping to go to college in September. My own 2 sons are much older and he looks up to them. They often take him to the cinema, McDonalds or Safari park. When my eldest son moved into his own home last October he cried when he left. I would always choose a boy. I glad to we got him through his formative years because now he shares our values. If you get an older child they often have a history of trauma they bring with them. Our foster son does not remember before he came to live with us.

Are you with agency or LA?

@LiesDoNotBecomeUs what ages did you prefer or did it not matter to you (except that they were younger than your kids)?

@caringcarer - I assume with LA if you got a 5 year old. I'm swithering about focusing on family groups or unaccompanied asylum seeking minors. I doubt you can take one from each group...

No not LA. I foster through FCA agency. Where I live LA take straight forward children and those with complex needs go through FCA. I have to do a lot more training than LA foster carers. There is a massive shortage for carers who can take sibling groups, especially more than 2 children. Such a shame to sit siblings up. Lots can take a single asylum seeker.

We had a child of 8 once but the others were tweens and teens. Younger children are easier to place. (Foster carers seem to be more intimidated by the idea of teens.)

Each individual child came with their baggage and challenges. You couldn't really say that age made the greatest difference. I liked them all :)

We had two together (sisters) for a long time, and once 4 (though this was an emergency as 3 is the usual limit here). Two of those we cared for were considered disabled.

We had support from the LA. This was great sometimes and terrible sometimes. There was a high turnover of social workers.

@caringcarer we were told by local agency that there is a terrific need for UASMs as no one wants to take them. Do you have other information from your agency?

@LiesDoNotBecomeUs - interesting. Were you open to all ages then? We want to be busy so probably best to be open to all ages but I know the agencies don't have kids under 8 - or so they told me.

At FCA we also have mother and baby placements. This is mostly but not always very young Mums. Often know nothing about babies so you show them how to bath baby, then they do it. How to make up formula milk, then they do it, how to change nappy, etc etc and you see if they make progress over 12 weeks. You have to monitor if baby cried in night do they know what to do and ultimately can they care for baby. Do they bond with baby. After 12 weeks there is usually a court case to decide if you Mum able to keep baby or if they can't manage or don't want to keep baby and baby either in care or up for adoption. I know a couple of carers who specialise in this area and they say nearly all the young Mums become more confident in caring for baby and keep them. However if Mum walks out and leaves baby carer looks after it until other arrangements made.

FCA also have caring for single assylem seekers but they like you to be able to facilitate their cultural needs. Eg. If AS is Muslim they will place with Muslim carer.

Sibling groups are hardest to place became each child must have own bedroom and if 3 siblings then carers would need at least 4 bedrooms and more if they have own kids.

Where in country are you? FCA have branches in most areas. You have to do a recording once a month and get your own SW. You see them about once every 3 weeks. There are also social events like lunches out and some online meet ups too.

FCA specialise in children with complex needs. So child I have has learning disability, autism and anger management issues. He has proved a lot as he has grown more secure. If you want to know more PM me.

It seems to vary a lot between areas.
Yes - we were cleared to look after any age.

There was special training for caring for disabled children and for young mothers.

I am registered for 0-18 but take under 5s, mainly withdrawing babies or babies with additional needs. I also offer short break care if I am not full.

@caringcarer when you say single asylum seekers - why are you referencing 'single'? Do they only place one at a time?
FCA - taken over by private equity like so many agencies I see. Do you find them good? I'm in the East of England. Local IFAs have promised they can place UASMs IF they have foster carers to take them and are desperate to find carers. No need to be Muslim as not enough Muslims are coming forward. That's what they've told us, anyway.
The mother and baby work sounds good BUT I don't fancy the being up all night part!
"You have to do a recording once a month and get your own SW". - what do you mean by 'recording?'

@bloodywhitecat so you can register for any age group. Good to know. You're presumably then with LA as our IFA locally said: we never take anyone under 8. They are all placed within LA.

You go to panel and say how many children you want to be considered for. Must have a bedroom each. You say she group. We said 0-18. You can specify girls or boys. You can say if you want emergency, temporary, short or long term placement. You can say all if you don't mind. When LA want to place a child through FCA if you have a vacancy the match up service will text out details of child. If you interested you text them back. Then they phone you to go into more details.

Single assylem seekers is an under 18 without an adult accompanying them. We have some Muslim carers so they tend to take those as try to match up culturally. Anyone who takes a single assylem seekers if they are Muslim and about 95 percent are you have to take them to mosque everyday more than once.

@caringcarer - is that what you were told? Not the case here. If they are 16 they can take themselves to the local mosque. Definitely a shortage of Muslim folk taking in UASMs here or so we were told (we're in a small city in East of England).

@caringcarer - useful to know about choosing what age/how many etc you wish to care for.

I suppose if you live in urban area they might be able to get bus providing they can speak English. Most of ones we get can't when they first come. You have to try to teach them. They can access lessons too. If you live in a rural area with poor public transport you have to drive all foster children everywhere. My friend had a 13 year old from Afghanistan who could only say hello, yes, no and thank you when she first got him. After 3-4 months he could say a lot more. He liked cricket and my son plays cricket so we went together. At club there was an adult who spoke his language and now acts as his mentor. He takes him to mosque.

I live rurally which is one of the reasons I say no to teens. Babies do go out to agencies but LAs try to place children in house first and babies are easier to place than teens in a lot of cases so babies often go in house. The commitment to family time (when birth families meet up) is often higher with babies than it is with older children which can mean racking up the mileage taking to and from the contact centre. As a baby carer, I don't work outside of the home as I couldn't do both and our LA won't place babies/young children in a home where both carers work. When we started we were registered for 1 x 0-18 as short term/emergency/temporary + 1 x 0-18 respite but within a few months of being registered there was a huge need for baby placements in our LA so we were approved for a second fostering placement as well. (I am in the East of England too).

@caringcarer I live in a very walkable small city and mosques are round the corner, usefully. Not that all Muslims want to go to Mosque of course.
We were told they never get under 16s UASMs (most are possibly older by a couple of years) so interesting your friend had a 13 year old - that's very unusual from what I've learned speaking with local agencies and actually also agencies up North/Kent/Devon etc.
When you say they can access lessons - you mean they get a place in a school? I wonder how quickly.

@bloodywhitecat - interesting. Luckily I'm in the centre of a city so everything very close and walkable. I think the only area we're not interested in doing is babies...which is lucky as I"m sure that's the most popular!

13 year old placed in Birmingham. School place yes but also tutoring at home for additional English shortly after placement started but only for about 3 months until child learned enough basic English. Then started school.

Our Fs came to us at 4, came as an emergency which after around 18 months became long term, he’s now 14.
Our youngest birth child was 13 and we were adamant we would only take children a fair bit younger.
We originally planned to foster for a few years, obviously that’s not the plan now, he is part of our family.
We are with an agency and lots of the carers have babies and young children.
After a couple of years he was diagnosed with adhd then autism.
We were originally approved for 3 children 0-18 but with his additional needs we feel it’s better to just care for him.
You really have to be very flexible as what you set out to do when you first decide to foster can change completely.