Been approached by LA

[Ownedbyacob]

Hi ladies and gents.

Newbie here.
I just am here today as I really don't know where else to turn.
I have been contacted today by LA in regards to an acquaintances 4 month old baby.
Mum is in a Mother Baby Placement, she has 3 other children already out of her care with a Gaurdianship order with family members. Her Mental Health is a bit all over and it looks highly likely this child shall be removed also.
Dad has history of DV and also Mental Health factors so currently is undergoing an IPO? Before been allowed near the child.
Both parents have seemingly put Myself and my Husband down to step in and take the child. The phonecall consisted today of taking some details. Explaining the situation a little bit but it would seem the parents are going to be negative at there assesments.

Now here is the thing.
The phonecall today was handled as if the social worker was talking about rehoming a goldfish. I was truly lett flabberghasted. Basically can we screen/asses you guys and will you take baby on long term foster until she is 18 if parents are negative on these assessments.
Myself and My Husband are willing to consider the proposal given to us... we have one son of our own who is 12.
We both drive. He's self employed. I was just about to re kick start my career... but big but... finances.
The price of living is already crazy. Yes we get by relatively comfortably thankfully compared to some. Always have decent food on the table. Clothes on our backs. Utilitys on ect. But we private rent a 2 bed house. This house is perfect. We love it. If we were to long term foster baby obviously we would need an extra bedroom. This is where fostering allowance questions start to kick in. We have time. We have love. We have experience. We don't have an extra £300 per month towards rent of a new property ( we claim no benefit ) . I have read that LA fostering allowance in our area starts from £124 - £276 a week. I don't want to foster a child for 18 years and have just "get by" or make do ... I want to be able to do it comfortably. Less financial stress - Happier adults - happier home. I guess my point of the Q is what financial help exactly is out there for long term foster carers through LA? I know private agencies can pay around £500 per week. Also would the working tax and child tax credit we get now be stopped? Will it be a case of stealing from Peter to feed Paul as such? Any advice greatly appreciated. Regards.

[HollowTalk]

I think they have a real nerve. Just because they ask you that doesn't mean that you should do it or that you would be the best person to do it. The fact you just vaguely know them doesn't mean anything really!

Put yourself first in this instance. You want a career, you want financial security and you will want a pension. You won't get any of those things by fostering a child now.

Make your own decisions and don't let some random social worker affect the rest of your life.

[AnotherDelphinium]

So just because they called it fostering, doesn’t actually make it fostering, it will come under kinship care. This is normally paid significantly less than fostering, and the LA will push you to get a court order which then means any financial support is means tested.

There’s more information here - kinship.org.uk/full-survey-results/

I’d make sure you know exactly what you’re getting into, and whether you’ll be compensated for it. It feels like LAs try and push for kinship care as it’s significantly cheaper than fostering!

[lostoldname]

As well as the financial side of things you need to consider what training abs ongoing support you will need. Any child removed from its mother will have some kind of trauma which will have an impact on your family.

Also ask about what involvement they expect the birth parents to have and also if there will be a court case to take away parental rights.

You mention an it's the child of an acquaintance but if it's a family member it will be kinship care which has less support than foster care.

There may be an expectation if the child remains with you that you adopt them.

[CloseYourEyesAndSee]

@HollowTalk

I think they have a real nerve. Just because they ask you that doesn't mean that you should do it or that you would be the best person to do it. The fact you just vaguely know them doesn't mean anything really!

Put yourself first in this instance. You want a career, you want financial security and you will want a pension. You won't get any of those things by fostering a child now.

Make your own decisions and don't let some random social worker affect the rest of your life.

If they are going to court they have to enquire of EVERYONE that the parent/s put forward to be assessed. It's a legal requirement, not 'having a nerve'. The OP can say no!

[CloseYourEyesAndSee]

Oh I see you meant the parents have a nerve
Well yes
OP you aren't obliged to do this. Also you would be encouraged to be special guardians not foster carers (different requirements to pass panel for one thing) and SG allowances are lower than fostering and also means tested. You could agree on the basis that you'd be connected persons foster carers instead but that's 18 years plus of social work involvement and a huge amount of expectation on you for that whole period as opposed to essentially adopting the child and getting on with your lives which is what special guardianship would be.

[autienotnaughty]

It is a massive commitment your not just talking about parenting a child here, it's the long term involvement of ss, will the biological parents be involved at all , would they try to see the child? What a bout extended family, would they want to see the child? (Legally or not) The problems that make these people so unsuitable to raise a child are likely to impact on the child in some way- if there's drink/drugs for example or the child could develop an Attachment disorder. You could be looking at raising a child with significant difficulty that could massively impact on your families mental health, finances, ability to work. It would be an amazing gift for this child to be raised in a loving secure family. But go in with your eyes wide open. Do a lot of research and consider the worst case scenarios.

[sirensscreech]

A fostered child needs their own room.

Unless LA will re house you, you aren't suitable.

[Ownedbyacob]

Thank you guys. Very informative. There is no extended family as on both sides of extended family there is MH and SS involvement. My husband has known the Father over 20 years, he helped him out during very hard times of his own and have remained loyal to him until he got with Mum Dec 2020. We sadly straight away saw red flags so limited our involvement and distanced ourselves from the situation. It was not long after birth maybe a month before I was getting messages from Mum begging me to care for the child as apparently we have a perfect life. If only.... She then went onto admit she had chosen a Father with history to have a new baby with so she could keep this one and wipe him from the picture soon after birth.. Well needless to say that crazy unstable move seriously backfired and with SS been involved since pregnancy it was never going to end right. Time will tell I guess. I thankfully don't feel obliged and am very eyes wide open. I do not understand why people go into things like this with Rose tinted glasses. At the moment it is bedroom space and finances which are the ick. I shall wait for a good sit down chat and lay my cards on the table. There is no drug use or alcohol involvement on either part at present as far as I am aware..Dad is very anti drug of all kinds, Mum did engage in drug use in the past which she was very open about. Just severe mental instability - Suicide threats, making TikToks in regards to the situs, sleeping with each others friends ect just piles and piles of toxic behaviour and accusations... The mind boggles... that poor little child didn't ask to be born into this. Thank you though I shall keep you informed moving forward.

[ChoiceMummy]

@Ownedbyacob

Hi ladies and gents.

Newbie here.
I just am here today as I really don't know where else to turn.
I have been contacted today by LA in regards to an acquaintances 4 month old baby.
Mum is in a Mother Baby Placement, she has 3 other children already out of her care with a Gaurdianship order with family members. Her Mental Health is a bit all over and it looks highly likely this child shall be removed also.
Dad has history of DV and also Mental Health factors so currently is undergoing an IPO? Before been allowed near the child.
Both parents have seemingly put Myself and my Husband down to step in and take the child. The phonecall consisted today of taking some details. Explaining the situation a little bit but it would seem the parents are going to be negative at there assesments.

Now here is the thing.
The phonecall today was handled as if the social worker was talking about rehoming a goldfish. I was truly lett flabberghasted. Basically can we screen/asses you guys and will you take baby on long term foster until she is 18 if parents are negative on these assessments.
Myself and My Husband are willing to consider the proposal given to us... we have one son of our own who is 12.
We both drive. He's self employed. I was just about to re kick start my career... but big but... finances.
The price of living is already crazy. Yes we get by relatively comfortably thankfully compared to some. Always have decent food on the table. Clothes on our backs. Utilitys on ect. But we private rent a 2 bed house. This house is perfect. We love it. If we were to long term foster baby obviously we would need an extra bedroom. This is where fostering allowance questions start to kick in. We have time. We have love. We have experience. We don't have an extra £300 per month towards rent of a new property ( we claim no benefit ) . I have read that LA fostering allowance in our area starts from £124 - £276 a week. I don't want to foster a child for 18 years and have just "get by" or make do ... I want to be able to do it comfortably. Less financial stress - Happier adults - happier home. I guess my point of the Q is what financial help exactly is out there for long term foster carers through LA? I know private agencies can pay around £500 per week. Also would the working tax and child tax credit we get now be stopped? Will it be a case of stealing from Peter to feed Paul as such? Any advice greatly appreciated. Regards.

The Guardian Allowance rate is:
£18.55 a week per child
tax-free
paid on top of your Child Benefit payments

It doesn't count as an income for some means tested benefits.

[CloseYourEyesAndSee]

The Guardian Allowance rate is:
£18.55 a week per child
tax-free

It varies across different local authorities

[YetAnotherProcrastinator]

What a sad situation and how difficult for you.

It can be a shock when approached like this. Many kinship carers become carers/parents overnight, for one reason or another, and it is nearly always a complete shock. You neither have to nor don't have to step forward for this child, but you should have the full information before you decide.

I recommend you contact the charities Kinship or the Family Rights Group tomorrow. They answer the kinds of questions you have daily.

I'll focus on the financial side as that is what has been mentioned most, although there are also many other considerations. First though, rest assured that for a baby it is more likely than not that a permanent, loving home will be able to be found should they not be able to stay with their birth parents or a kinship carer.

Are you in England? If not you might need to ignore the rest. If so then as a kinship carer if you are a foster carer you should get the same allowances and have the same support as any other foster carer through the local authority. LAs are not supposed to discriminate against kinship foster carers compared to other ones. You should be able to get details from your LA, but you can also look at the Fostering Network for further information on allowances etc. You are also supposed to be eligible for the same "skills allowances" as foster carers. This means that once you have undergone further training, you can get a higher allowance. These differ between LAs. Fostering allowances also have a very high tax-free allowance, on top of your normal one. I believe they are in the main discounted for benefits, but there will be more information on the Fostering Network's website about this.

A problem arises if the LA tries to place a child with you "voluntarily". This happens a lot and means they will not pay you as a foster carer. You must make sure it is as a foster carer, and certainly at least initially, even if you later go on to have a Special Guardianship Order or adopt (if appropriate). It's important the child is "looked after" (ie in care) at some point.

A fostering allowance is non-means tested and lasts as long as the child is "looked after". If in the future you go for a Special Guardianship Order, this will have financial implications. LAs are supposed to offer financial support - a key difference is that it is means tested. For SGO allowances (different to the allowances for testamental guardians mentioned above), many LAs - but not all - use a means test also used for Adoption Allowances. Therefore the more you earn, the less you get. The total is often, not always, tied to the LA's fostering allowance. Eg in my LA, the full amount is tied to the basic fostering allowance (ie. the basic allowance not including any skills payments a foster carer might have on top due to training and experience) minus child benefit (as you can't claim this for a foster child but can for a child under an SGO). However, this is "discretionary" and LAs can and do change the amounts and the means test, although I do know of some who have negotiated a fixed amount until 18, rather than means tested until 18. However, there are other advantages to an SGO.

Other points mentioned -

Kinship carers can only foster with local authorities, not other fostering providers, so can only have the fostering allowance offered by their particular LA.

Also, sometimes, not always, requirements such as whether an own room is required are different for kinship carers. However, it seems unlikely that a 12 yr old and baby would be allowed to share.

I hope this helps. I would have a look at these websites and maybe call them too (I can't do links at the moment sorry):

Kinship
Family Rights Group
Fostering Network

[YetAnotherProcrastinator]

I should also say that if you go forward you will undergo a full assessment and go to panel. This involves many discussions, references, checks, and training. It is hopefully the case (and intended to be the case) that in the process it will become clear to you and children's services whether this is the right path in order to ensure the child's best interests, and either you or they might decide against it. Before this there would likely be a viability assessment, which is looking at some very basics, to see if it is appropriate to proceed to a full assessment or not.

[kitcat15]

If the baby remains LAC you will get more financial support ( free nursery etc) ...so you could co to use working.....you could ask SW for support letter to give you higher priority for a social housing property....I know a few carers who have not opted for an SGO but continued with a LAC arrangement
..with the LA having PR because it was more financially viable for them

[millytint44]

No way would a court approve a fostering permanence plan for a 4 month old baby!

[kitcat15]

@millytint44

No way would a court approve a fostering permanence plan for a 4 month old baby!

Depends on your LA ....where i live there is a very high number of LACS at home ( child living with parents or relative with LA as corporate parent) .....however in the neighbouring LA they have virtually no LAC at homes

[CloseYourEyesAndSee]

Depends on your LA ....where i live there is a very high number of LACS at home ( child living with parents or relative with LA as corporate parent) .....however in the neighbouring LA they have virtually no LAC at homes

It's about the age of the child. Putting forward a care plan of long term foster care for a very young baby is very very unlikely to be approved by the court (not the local authority). There would have to be extraordinary circumstances for that to happen.

[caringcarer]

It would be in baby's interest to be adopted as only a few months old. If you were to foster this baby it may be that after a few years it would go up for adoption and you could get very attached to baby then have it taken from you. I am a Foster Carer and LT Foster Orders usually start from 5 years plus, younger children go up for adoption. We took a 5 year old with complex SN , as no one came forward to adopt him. His court order changed to long term fostering. We have since tried to adopt him after fostering him for three years bit told no his plan is long term fostering as his birth parents did not agree to adoption. He is 15 now and doing well. Foster children need their own room unless they share with a same sex birth sibling. We foster through agency who specialises in children with complex needs. LA tend to foster put children without additional needs and pass children with SN or complex needs to agency Foster Carers who have to do more courses and reach level 5 care.

[AxolotlEars]

I have some experience here but won't give too many details. We needed a room for the baby. I don't think that a child would be placed in a long term foster placement. Even if it was, you need to understand that social services would have the power to move that child at the drop of a hat. Often in situations with such a young child there is a twin track going on ... adoption and fostering. You could go for a Special Guardianship order. You would get an allowance but not foster care levels. In all these situations the court is working that it's the best interests of the child that are paramount.
The wheels of the process seem have their own special speed. Even though the baby is 4months old it could be some time before the baby would be placed. A baby that is removed from their parent is being removed from the person they have attached to and when you step into the role it won't be like parenting your own birth child

[Preggopreggo]

@Ownedbyacob what did you do in the end?