Expecting a birth child whilst fostering

[emmajane90]

Hi all 😊

I just wondered if anyone has any experience of adding a birth child to the family whilst fostering? We have a very settled 14 year old girl who has been with us for a year. We will be applying for permanency for her once she has a permanent social worker in place (she's between social workers at the moment). My husband and I decided to foster before having our own children however now is the right time for us and we are expecting our first child in October.

Our foster daughter is over the moon and really excited about the baby, however I still want to make sure we do absolutely everything we can to make sure her nose isn't pushed out and she still feels like a solid, secure part of this family.

We had an early reassurance scan a few weeks ago and she chose to come with us. I asked her to sit in the waiting room just until we'd been told everything was okay and then invited her in to have a look, which she appeared to really enjoy.

I just want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to keep her in the positive mindset she's in now so any advice or shared experience would be appreciated!

Thanks 🥰

[OnceuponaRainbow18]

You sound so lovely, I guess just keeping things as similar as they can be will help, involving her in things she wants to be involved in and which you are happy with.

Best of luck to you all 🥰

[Dogsandbabies]

I have no direct personal experience but I have done extensive research in fostering services. And your setup and attitude sound absolutely ideal (and you also come across as genuinely lovely). Your foster daughter is very likely to bond with your new baby like a sibling and give your family a whole new dynamic for the better.

Wishing you the best of luck.

[emmajane90]

@onceuponarainbow18 @dogsandbabies aw thank you both so much 🥰

I'm really hoping she does bond with the baby like a sibling, she's been talking about wanting to babysit etc and she does seem really genuinely excited. She had some less than ideal comments made by her birth family about my pregnancy when we weren't around, along the lines of her being kicked out due to the new baby and us having no rights to have our own kids if we foster, which is obviously ridiculous. But the upside of that is she came straight to us with it, told us what had been said and also told us she already knows it's not true because of the discussions we've already had with her surrounding the pregnancy.