Allegations

[iusedtohavechickens]

Hi,

We have had an allegation made against us, as a result they have removed the children in my care and are threatening to take my own children away from me. The allegation is that I have shouted, used the naughty step (we use the stairs but have never called it naughty step and have only ever said it is time out) and apparently my husband told me to fuck off in front of them.
We have been left devastated as we cared greatly about these children and have found out that the social worker interviewed the children together at the school which we had been saying was a traumatic place for them and were pushing for a school move as the only times the children have been upset and highly strung was at school snd at the contact centre.
One of the children assaulted me everyday when I collected them from school, the school had said we had been saying things we hadn't so for the last 3 weeks I've actually recorded voice memos every time I'm at the school so I could prove my innocence if they reported me for anything else. As a result I now have 3 weeks of proof that whist being hit kicked elbows and head butted that I have never shouted at this child. I haven't shared that yet as I'm still waiting for them to come snd interview me. They want my supporting social worker to investigate which I have said no to. They should have one role and if they are investigating me then they won't be able to support me. I haven't eaten since Thursday when this all happened because the thought of eating makes me want to vomit. I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about the additional trauma these kids have suffered at being ripped away from us without us being able to say goodbye. I have also found out that since Thursday they have been in 2 different placements which is not in their best interests.
I'm broken and don't know how to fight this

All foster carers should join either their trade union (NUPFC) or an organisation such as Foster Support (fostersupport.co.uk) who will act for you in supporting you through allegations. You have to be a member BEFORE an allegation comes up. Its a very important insurance policy and their mere presence in the process will help ensure you are not bulldozed by the LA and/or IFA sw. Sadly it is not unusual for an allegation to be made if a foster carer complains about a school or sw. I am sorry I havent been specifically helpful to this op but hope that all foster carers understand that this is something that could happen to any of us and you need to have the right back-up in place.

I'm fortunate enough to be a member of the fostering network and have foster talk too. I'm still in pieces and can't stop thinking about these children especially learning that the siblings have already been moved twice since Thursday 😥

it's important to be aware of who funds fostering network and foster talk. I am a member also but would never use them for allegations. he who pays the piper ....

So sorry to hear you are going through this. If you haven't already, please call the National Association of Therapeutic Parents advice line ( details on their website). I'm sure they also have an online webinar / training too about dealing with allegations. Wishing you all the best, can't begin to imagine how stressful and upsetting this must be for you all.

No advice just sending love and a handhold OP. So sorry for you and the kids

Thanks everyone, got an email from my supporting social worker (who hasn't even asked how we all are!) telling me she's also reported me to our local authority as she's concerned about our own children. I honestly cannot believe this is happening! I've lost 6kg in weight in the last week as I physically cannot eat.

have pm'd

I'm at a loss at how on earth your own children could be taken away because you (allegedly) shouted/used the step for time out.- which is what literally every parent will do at some point bringing up their kids.
Of course, shouting at foster children is different as they're not your kids (I'm not yet a foster carer so please do enlighten me other foster carers) but everyone is human and it must be very difficult not to raise your voice very occasionally particularly if a child is assaulting you. Or are you expected to be perfect and superhuman?
I find this quite shocking, actually.

This is scary. Op I'm really sorry this has happened. I hope you get it sorted out.

@Surburbia

I'm at a loss at how on earth your own children could be taken away because you (allegedly) shouted/used the step for time out.- which is what literally every parent will do at some point bringing up their kids. Of course, shouting at foster children is different as they're not your kids (I'm not yet a foster carer so please do enlighten me other foster carers) but everyone is human and it must be very difficult not to raise your voice very occasionally particularly if a child is assaulting you. Or are you expected to be perfect and superhuman? I find this quite shocking, actually.

There are a huge number of parents who would never use time out.

OP I hope things are resolved.

I hope this is resolved for you quickly. It never fails to amaze or disappoint me how badly Foster carers are treated. My friend went through the same. Sadly it seems that allegations are standard and you are assumed guilty until proven otherwise.
Can you get back up from teachers etc., to at least make sure there isn't an impact to your own children?

Those poor children.

That's really sad for the children! Hopefully it gets sorted but probably unlikely they will be placed back with you

These social workers need to be deregistered.
They are the root of the problems and not doing enough to support carers.
A child can make the smallest complaint,we tickled a girl to make her laugh and she made an allegation, girl got removed, carers got deregistered. What is the point in fostering. They say treat them like your own. But you simply cannot because you know they will always get you in trouble one day and lose your career.
Social workers should be called shit workers