Respite fostering

[thisisthebestest]

I am thinking of respite fostering (would love to adopt but I have to work to pay my mortgage and I was told it's unlikely I would be able to work FT if I adopted, I'm single so only my wage, no children of my own)

Would I be considered if I had lodgers? (Obviously child would have their own room)
I currently have 2 lodgers, but would drop to 1 if I was allowed to respite foster.

I have lots of childcare experience so I think I would be a good candidate?

I doubt it.
They would need to go through lots of checks so they’d have to be willing to have their lives scrutinised.
Foster children sometimes have lots of issues so having people who are not family members may be very unsettling for them.
I doubt any social worker would want to place their child in a household where they may experience regular changes.

Even for respite fostering?
I get that my Kidger would need to be screened etc for safeguarding, but I would have thought that respite fostering would be short term placements then the fact that I have a lodger wouldn't matter short term?

With all these fostering topics, there is jargon to understand. Different places can use the same terms for different things, and in my LA respite fostering can mean two completely different things.

A common understanding is that respite fostering is regular short term placements to give the parents a break, for example if they have a high needs disabled child. A respite carer can take this child at fixed times (eg 2 weekends a month, and some holiday time) so that the parents can get some sleep/focus on their other children. The child goes to the same respite carer each time.

Another use of the term is for carers who take a child for a fixed term, eg 2 - 3 months, and work through a specific programme with them to get them on track and ready for a regular fostering placement. This would be for a child who has had a bumpy ride through the care system and needs some focussed therapeutic fostering to enable them to make a step change.

I don’t see why having a lodger would make a difference to whether you would be approved. They would be part of the approval process by having a DBS check and being interviewed by your assessing social worker.

Don’t let Mumsnet put you off. It is the assessing social worker who decides whether to progress your application.

Unlikely, the back ground checks on the lodger would be massive, and take too long, then if the lodger left, or invited someone else to stay overnight, it would all have to happen again

@54321nought

Unlikely, the back ground checks on the lodger would be massive, and take too long, then if the lodger left, or invited someone else to stay overnight, it would all have to happen again

DBS check and interview.

Everyone over the age of 16 living in the house would have have DBS and be subject to some level of discussion. I would doubt very much if you would be considered suitable because of the lodgers. I sit on fostering/adoption panels and have ratified a few respite/short break carers. They are subject to exactly the same scrutiny as any other foster carers.

Talk to your local council. In our area its called share the care and has completely different rules etc. Your lodger would be asked for a dbs check and maybe an interview but nothing that shouldn't be possible.

Fwiw my friend adopted as a single adopter and was in full time employment. Took adoption leave which offered the same terms as maternity with a phased restart. She'd just gone back to full time when the opportunity came up to take voluntary redundancy which she took to pursue what she thought was part time but has ended up a bit more, but not quite full. Anyway, she was approved and did do some working full time so not impossible by any means - don't rule out in those grounds. Re the lodger, apply and see. Different councils and agencies will have their own policies on this sort of thing. It might be another hurdle but not necessarily an impossibility.

How can you provide respite if you're at work FT?

@titchy

How can you provide respite if you're at work FT?

Weekends?

@titchy

How can you provide respite if you're at work FT?

Weekends, shift work, 4 on 4 off patters, holidays ....

Fair enough!

@titchy

How can you provide respite if you're at work FT?

I don't actually currently work FT or need to ( because of lodgers) but I would need to if financially responsible for an adopted child. Respite Fostering is different (and I did mean the type which is to 'share the care') and I was thinking weekends / school holidays etc

Normally respite care is very intense, I have had children showing up in floods of tears having been removed from family home facing major neglect, foster carers took TWO hours to convince them to enter my house. We gave them hot chocolate, and just sat with them in their grief. Honestly could you do this with a lodger in the house? You need to understand that fostered children are often dealing with massive stress and trauma, it’s not the kids that are the issue it’s what they will have been through before they arrive at your home. Obviously a well meaning but untrained lodger could react in a multiple number of ways to this, if I were a social worker I would be concerned that it could impact the care you are able to provide. At worst the lodger could actually have a negative impact, even just by saying something thoughtless, you need to provide a safe space for these children, and ask yourself if you are really thinking about the needs of the child. You can’t just swap a lodger for a foster child, fostered children need a lot more time and care, and uncontrollable aspects like others in the house might derail your good intentions.

As a social worker I would say I doubt it. It's a layer of complexity that children don't need. But it's worth asking, especially if the lodger is someone you know very well and it's a stable, long term arrangement.

OP I've only read your first post but a colleague adopted as a single full time working woman. She had a demanding job.

I adopted as a single adopter, I worked part time for the first 18 months then went back ft. Tbh once you've legally adopted, Ss can't actually stop you going back ft.