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Fostering

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

Foster son keeps running away

11 replies

zinida · 05/07/2021 15:45

My foster son is 13, I've been fostering him for about a month or 2.

On Friday, he didn't come back from school and I reported it to the police (it was late by then). He came back at about 12:30 I asked him where he'd been and he told me he wanted to be alone. I told him we would've left him alone if he wanted and he didn't need to stay out.

On Saturday, he snook out and he'd packed a bag, I reported it to the police, and they brought him back at about 1am, he was trying to get on a bus but he didn't have any money. I spoke to him yesterday and he told me that he'd be gone soon anyway so I won't need to pretend to like him, he said I'll just give up on him like everyone else. The police also came to speak to him yesterday about him running away.

I told him that I won't and I told him I cared about him (which I do). I know this is probably normal, but I've only fostered teenage girls in the past and none of them did this.

Any advice from other foster parents will be appreciated Thanks

OP posts:
zinida · 05/07/2021 15:53

Sorry. Didn't mean to post this in AIBH

OP posts:
TeenMinusTests · 05/07/2021 15:56

Suggest you report the post and ask for it to be moved to Fostering

RagamuffinCat · 05/07/2021 15:57

Sounds like he is trying to push you away before you push him away (as he sees it). Just keep reiterating that you are there for him and are sticking with the placement.

Notapheasantplucker · 05/07/2021 16:15

Do you think he might need a bit more reassurance from you, that you're not going to 'give up on him'? Sounds like he's been through a lot, poor lad.

FlyingBattie · 05/07/2021 16:37

I'd ask to move this to fostering, you'll probably get more relevant answers.
Poor boy.

PicaK · 05/07/2021 16:38

Surely your training on attachment covered this?

Screamingcowboy99 · 05/07/2021 16:40

This is very, very common OP.

Have you spoken to his social worker for advice?

knittingaddict · 05/07/2021 16:47

As a foster parent you must have someone who you can report to or talk to in the fostering scheme or whatever it's called. I'm surprised that you need mn to sort out issues like this. Are you an experienced foster parent? This child must have a social worker assigned to them? Best talk to them really, rather than on a random forum with no specialist knowledge of fostering.

zinida · 05/07/2021 17:08

Thanks for your replies, I have asked for this to be moved.

His social worker didn't answer when I called them so I left a message.

I do keep reassuring him that I care about him and won't give up on him etc.

OP posts:
wordsareveryunnecessary · 05/07/2021 17:08

If you join adoption UK there are forums on there with experienced people who can advise

Gingercatz · 07/07/2021 21:30

We fostered a girl who went AWOL at least four times a week while she was with us. It was related to grooming gang and drugs. Does he have a mobile?

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