Can I ask for some advice - DS's new friend is in Foster care

[Bananacocks]

I hope its OK to post here, I'm not a Foster carer but looking for some advice. My DS is in year 7 and has made friends with a lad in his class, he asked a few times in Sept if they could meet in the small local park but this lad was not allowed, no bother, I assumed he lived further out.

He has now shared with DS that he is in Foster care and the reasons behind this, it sounds like he's had a tough time but is a good kid and DS is keen to hang out with him when restrictions allow. He doesn't have a phone and isn't allowed to play online. I am assuming that his Foster family have to be careful following age restrictions etc (game is only fortnight but a 12). Is there any way I can make this easier to happen for them, I'm happy for his foster family to have my number if it helps, but mindful of not wanting to be the embarrassing Mum. I am in no way judging what they allow or don't allow but am unsure what restrictions if any they have to follow. Thanks in advance

Frustratingly it tends to have to be "by the book" when it comes to film classifications, game classifications etc. As a foster carer you have to be on the defensive. Children - and their birth families - can often use the fact you have let foster children play games or watch films they shouldnt have been able to as a means of demonstrating poor care etc. LOcal authorities have to follow up any such complaints and the consequences can be very serious. It may be that the child is new into foster care or at least with these foster carers and they are still judging what freedoms they can grant. Can I suggest that your son is careful not to share the information about his friend being in foster care without permission as some kids do not want it generally known. I certainly wouldnt mind being contacted by another parent checking in what boundaries might apply but reassure them that you will be discreet if necessary when it comes to other parents. Basically let them set the rules.

Send them an invite via school picnic play in park, see what happen's may be able too meet up have a face too face discussion. are allowed inclusion visits and one night sleep over's subject too SS approval .

I know things are harder during the pandemic but as a foster mum of a year 7 I would be happy for him to see his school friend out of school. A lot of the children we look after struggle socially and I wish every parent was as kind and thoughtful as you! Pass your number on the carer might be glad to to help arrange something.

Ps dont tell but my child has a phone and plays Fortnite :)

I would contact the F parents to see what can work OP, it would be a real shame not to have the friendship flourish.

Not a FC, but an adopter.

The foster child could well live further out and be collected by taxi which could preclude meeting up after school.

I'd write a note with your phone number on it, and say to your DC to pass it to his friend and if friend would like to meet to give note to his carer asking her to ring you re meeting if desired.

My adopted DD was friends for a while with two girls at secondary in separate long term foster care. We were certainly able to have them over for pizza and take them ice skating. (But that was y8/y9 so they were a bit older).