fostering bureaucracy

[GeordieGirl47]

I've always wanted to foster, but it's never been the right time until now. My children are adults and I feel I have the time and energy to dedicate myself to children needing a home whether for the short term or long term. The reason I'm posting is because everytime I research, or come on here to read threads, it seems people's real lives experiences are really complicated. There appears to be alot of barriers, alot of bureaucracy, people who sound like good people being refused, and being honest, it's putting me off. Can anyone give me the positives? Not so much the actual fostering, but the process. I just feel if I emotionally invest in the prospect of being able to foster, but then the process is difficult and I get refused I'd be devastated. Any experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Look up Precious Stars Vlogs on YouTube. She is a foster carer. Although she’s very young, early 20s I’d guess, she has lots of honest videos detailing the whole of becoming a foster carer. I’m not one but would like to consider it when my children are grown up. I found the videos very insightful.

If you are put off by a bit of beaurocracy then fostering probably isnt for you. Inevitably whether you are registered with a LA or agency there is a lot of seemingly pointless paperwork and processes to go through.

One of the key things with fostering is to be resilient and pick your battles. Yes it is complicated, it is beaurocratic at times, and there are (quite rightly) barriers to entry.

I note your comment that people who "seem" to be good people are being refused. As you rightly identify you don't have the full picture.

Having gone through a couple of months of overintrusive scrutiny only a few days before my panel (the meeting that decides whetrher you are approved) my agency suddenly informed me that they didnt think I was suitable and that I should withdraw. This was basically because I dared to criticise the agency and its processes.

I insisted on going to panel and was approved. It's a fine line sometimes between standing up for yourself (and the children) and managing the egos of some sw. SW wield huge power and can make your life a misery so you have to be careful on occasions and keep an eye on the bigger picture ie self preservation and the outcome for the chgildren in your care.

On the plus side you can make a big difference to some kids who really need a break. You have to weigh up the benefit you can give against a bit of manageable hassle.

Go ahead and make an application.

We were approved at panel on the 27th Feb. It actually took us over two years to go through the assessment. Partly Because of covid but also because we were almost put off the first time someone come out to view our home.

They told us our home wasn't suitable for fostering and needed to be made up to standard because of the following reasons ..

I had no lampshades
My grandson had done a little drawing on my wall
And one of my cats had scratched the corner of the carpet on my landing.

And the woman who come out was quite offensive. And I was really out off as I'd not long had my house totally renovated. It was just lived in. And the issues were minor.

However after sulking for a few months after that, we decided to crack on with the application. Stage 1 was straight forward enough.

But stage 2 was intrusive. You go into every element of your life. Childhood, family, previous jobs, current jobs, parenting styles. I think if you are honest in stage one and are open about things that you're worried about, then you wouldn't get to stage 2 and it be a waste of time. I think you'd only find out during stage 2 that you wasn't suitable if you had hidden things during stage 1 and they'd come up.

It is very invasive and time consuming and stressful. I cried loads after so many of my sessions with our social worker purely because I was having to talk about negative experiences from my past that I hadn't even thought about for years.

But after a month of having a foster child live with us, the assessment is nothing in comparison. But it's all worth it.

I didn't go into fostering blind, my mum has fostered for most of my adult life so I did already know a lot about the processes.

But yeah just being honest from the first meeting and you'll either be totally fine or learn very quickly if you can't do it.