Advice on social services / contact

[Worriedaunt21]

Hi im new here and hoping I've posted in the right place. My sisters ex got ss involved while she was pregnant she's classed as vulnerable and has serious mental health problems, including episodes of psychosis. so it ended up where her unborn baby was put on an at risk register. We supported her throughout her pregnancy and tried working with ss also. She started dating someone else when she was around 8 weeks pregnant and this quickly turned serious. The baby has been born now and has a child protection order ss have parental responsibility aswell, my sister was in a mother and baby unit for a short while but didn't adhere to the rules which meant when ss found out they put her under close supervision. What the family are worried about is her partner. He's not allowed contact, supervised or unsupervised ever with the baby. This was decided by the courts and now shes been caught with her partner and the baby. Social services have photographic evidence to prove this. There was a court hearing 2 days later which was already pre scheduled and she was told she wasn't allowed to take the baby out at all. She could go out for a few hours a day and a child minder at the m&b unit would look after the baby. This is to prevent/protect the baby from seeing her partner. We don't know why he's not allowed any contact and he just plays dumb when asked. He has 3 previous allegations against him for sleeping with underage girls all got nfa at police station. These were disclosed to ss at the start of the relationship and they were still willing to work with him but since they've done his background check they've done a complete turnaround. The baby is now in temporary Foster care as my sister wouldn't agree to ss terms regarding her not being able to take the baby out. She keeps telling us things and we don't know whether to believe her or not. She's told her partner ss want him to do parenting classes but ss told us that's not true. I think she could just be doing this to keep him in her life by making out they'll be a family in the future. Myself and my siblings are all worried sick that there's something seriously sinister behind her partners laid back attitude. Especially because we have children aswell and we're now worried about him being around our children. He's also not allowed to stay at his mums house and has to be supervised while there. He has young siblings that live there. Does anyone have any ideas why he's not allowed to see the baby or stay at his mums house. Is he a predator of young children and is there anyway we can have this information disclosed to us. If anyone has any advice or ideas can you please let me know. I'm honestly worried beyond belief. The baby won't even see the family at Christmas and because of covid our contact with the baby is all over the place. I'm finding it hard to believe there's going to be any sort of happy outcome from all of this. Thanks & sorry for the long post I didn't know where else to turn.

Awful situation. social worker here. Looks as if this guy has been assessed as a risk to the child. Could be due to previous offences or matters not convicted.

He will most likely have committed offences against women and children. Your ds may well have her child taken from her and placed for adoption if she is unable to keep the baby safe. I would not allow this man anywhere near my children, and would do my best to keep my sister away from him.

Pressed post too soon. Have you asked SW what the issue is? They may not tell you but worth asking.

And yes, if she continues with this guy, given her already existing problems then it is likely the child will be removed permanently. She is placing her needs before the baby.

I'm not defending her but I think part of her borderline personality disorder means she gets really clingy and obsessed with whoever she's in a relationship. For example while she was in the m&b unit she was on the phone from waking up to going to sleep. Now the baby is in Foster care she's back with him 24/7. We had a review meeting on zoom a few weeks ago and he was talked about during the meeting but they said it was highly confidential and they needed to talk about it after all non professionals left the meeting. I won't let my kids near him but my parents have other grandchildren who have been around him. Both my sister & him are now staying at my parents although she is going to visit his family over Christmas which means no contact with the baby. The sw won't disclose to us what they know all they said was its highly confidential which is of no use. We'd really like specifics or at the very least a brief outline of why he's such a risk to the baby. We were thinking of using Sarah's law & claires law to try and gain at least some insight into this guys past. I just feel if he's not allowed around children including his own siblings it's got to be something serious. I'd try to gain guardianship of the baby but I don't have room in my house so I don't think they'd allow me to. My other sister is also going to try but again she's in a 2 bedroom house and has 2 children herself. I absolutely adore this baby and want what's best but at the moment we can't even have contact because of covid and obviously the baby's mother is priority for contact. Thanks to everyone that's replied its much appreciated

Just to say, any info you get on MN is general and won’t be specific as no one really knows the full facts. If you’re worried you need to talk to the social workers. Good luck.

Although social workers don't want to discuss specifics with you, if you ask them if the other children in the family are at risk of being around him then they have a duty of care to say yes or no!

Any advice on here won't be able to comment on the specifics.
It could be worth checking special guardianship as I think they are quite flexible in assessing the suitability of family guardians.

Other PPs have suggested asking outright whether he is a risk to children. That could be good as you're not asking for his specific details and record, but are asking a valid safeguarding question.

It is absolutely obvious that this man has got a really worrying history and is a risk to children. You don't need to know the specific details to make the decision to protect your own children and it is worrying if family members aren't acting on this. If you believe other people are ignoring what they have been told please report it. Regarding your sister it really doesn't matter why she can't protect her child , she didn't and so Social Care had to. Please don't get sucked in to listening to his version of events.

Just re read some of the thread after seeing replies for you to ask the Sw about him . You already know he has had accusations against him, he isn't allowed to see children in his family, he wasn't allowed any contact with your sisters child , he isn't being considered as workable with . What else is it you need to know ? Of course he is a dangerous man and as you say he has a laid back attitude I would worry he is highly manipulative.

You don't need more information. He is clearly a danger and none of the family should be allowing him to have contact with children.

Sleeping with underage girls convicted or not (giving there have been 3 accusations) makes him a paedophile risk . You don't need to know the ins and outs , don't allow him contact with any children within the family , and warn your sister that she is likely to lose her child permanently if she does not end her relationship with her boyfriend .