Would we be suitable?

[Eacho]

I'm 36, DH is 45, we have a 4 bed house in a lovely area of a small town, so potentially 3 spare bedrooms. We have no DC, no pets and I have a comfortable income from investment properties and DH works part time. We are both healthy active happy people!

I have two volunteer jobs I do from home that take 10 hours a week but otherwise I'm home.

I am really keen to foster any age from baby to teenager, and so is DH. He had a wonderful upbringing on a farm but I unfortunately lived in an abusive household and suffered a great deal, emotionally and physically. I want to help by offering a secure, stable and safe environment because it would have made a huge difference to me, and I know good things can still happen in life despite having an awful start.

But. I have no experience with children, no neices/nephews or friends with DC.

I haven't applied to be a foster carer because I assume I'll be rejected because of this, does anyone have any advice?

You sound like lovely people . I've heard (through a friend so may not be true) that there's a real shortage of foster
Parents so I'd get your name down and you could always get some experience - volunteer somewhere etc I'm sure where there is a will there a way and you could make such a difference . Good luck to you x

I’m a social worker. You don’t need experience, and a shortage may mean you are approved... and you might well get emergency placements / short term placements without difficulty. I don’t know what your local fostering service is like, but they’d be happy to answer questions I am sure!

However, I place children in longer term placements and then I do tend to want to have some evidence that you really know what children are like, what their needs are, how to respond. This is often different to parenting children without difficult backgrounds of trauma & abuse though, so if you could demonstrate an understanding of these specific issues I would be reassured.

Best to get stuck in getting practical experience & thinking about what your strengths and areas of weakness might be so you can approach it with full self-awareness.

Volunteer in a school or setting where children from disadvantaged backgrounds go, or with disabilities, or with teenagers. Anything that will throw you up against a few of the myriad things that are part of managing bringing up children these days!

And research Therapeutic Parenting, attachment, trauma & loss, brain development in children & young people.

I think you and your husband would be wonderful foster parents. Perhaps take some parenting classes to demonstrate how committed you are to being excellent parents.

Wow thank you so much for the responses, all your advice is appreciated.

I'll look into parenting classes, possible volunteer placements and I'll order some resources about Attachment, Theraputic Parenting etc.

Part of one of my volunteer roles is helping suicidal and self harming under 18s via a text helpline and safeguarding them but of course this isn't face to face as it's a text service, would this be worth bringing up on application?

I will look to get more hands-on experience and do more research, but perhaps in the meantime apply for short term placements.

I did see a Sea Cadet volunteer role that my DH might really enjoy doing, too.

Thank you again for the benefit of your wisdom and experience. :)

If you’re passionate and have clear police records, you’ll be desirable

@Princessposie

If you’re passionate and have clear police records, you’ll be desirable

Luckily I'm really quite dull with no colourful secrets! But bucketloads of energy, patience and empathy.

I asses foster carers and honestly you sound fantastic. Direct experience with children is always helpful but your volunteer work plus your own sadly difficult background, gives you valuable life experience that not everybody has.

Parenting classes, volunteering in school would be great but that said, i have assessed lots of people with less experience than you who have gone on to be amazing foster carers. Maybe contact a few agencies and your local authority to really get a feel of things - i am sure they would be happy to answer any questions you may have.

when we were on a preparation course for fostering there wwas a couple who had never had children who have gone on to foster successfully and I am in touch with a single woman foster carer who had never had children who has a very successful long term placement of a brother and sister. The relevant agency/LA will tell you what experience they want you to have.

Part of one of my volunteer roles is helping suicidal and self harming under 18s via a text helpline and safeguarding them but of course this isn't face to face as it's a text service, would this be worth bringing up on application?

Yes absolutely relevant and worth mentioning. Good luck.

People always assume if you have had a bad upbringing they wouldn't even look at you, but that is so far from the truth. I am a single foster carer and there was alcohol and violence in my family (not me!!!). It all adds to your experience. You will have empathy for the families as you know what it's like. You both sound perfect for the job