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Fostering

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Don't know who to believe

3 replies

GrapeJellyBug · 29/09/2020 02:32

Hi - Have name changed for this.

We are currently foster carer's to two teenagers. A boy who has lived with us for 8 years (staying long term) and a girl who arrived last year as an emergency short term placement. Currently the plan is that she will eventually move to a long term placement at some point but they haven't found one for her yet. The girl is a year older than the boy

The girl has a learning difficulty as well as certain behavioural issues. We have found she can be very manipulative and sometimes a challenge to care for.

The boy is generally well behaved but I admit isn't perfect.

The other day the girl came to my husband and made an accusation about something the boy had supposedly done whilst they were alone in the house together. This was in the one hour period between them returning from school and us returning from work. There was nobody else in the house. It's a very serious accusation (would potentially be a prison sentance as a worst case scenario if the police were involved).

Obviously we informed social workers immediately and they came out to interview the girl today. The boy is going to be interviewed later in the week to get his side of the story. Social workers recommend they be separated (for now) so he's temporarily staying with a member of my family (who's registered so they can do respite) whilst it's sorted out.

My problem is that I really don't know which of them to believe. I'm trying to remain impartial but I've never known the boy to do anything like this. He does have tendencies to act before he thinks sometimes but nothing like this..

However I've also never known the girl to lie. About anything. Yes she can be a challenge and manipulate us sometimes but she doesn't lie (ever) and I see no reason for her to start now.

Sorry for the long post - just really struggling to process it Sad

OP posts:
latheritup · 29/09/2020 02:34

Oh this is such a tough one, OP. You've had the boy for such a long time, has he ever shown signs that he would ever do what he allegedly did?

I hope you can get to the bottom of it and find out the truth Sad

Anordinarymum · 29/09/2020 02:39

OP did they get on before this incident occurred ? Is there any undercurrent of jealousy between them?

Catsup · 29/09/2020 02:54

Terrible situation for all of you involved, and I really feel for you, and the teens in question. But you know you need to remain impartial until its fully investigated and all the facts are gained. The truth is whatever the true facts are, and you know you can't make an informed decision on what you may, or may not believe has actually occurred until everything is fully investigated. Even the best of people tell lies, and even the biggest liars can tell the truth! None of that probably helps an iota, but I think you just need to let it play out more whilst keeping your open mindset.

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