Special guardianship

[Wend111]

Hey first time post,Any advice appreciated, so here goes my cousin(through marriage now separated)lost her 2children due to being in a domestic relationship, she had 26weeks to sort her self out but didn’t but lead family to believe she had made all the change long story short I’ve gone for guardian ship of one of the children as the other has already gone to a guardian,I have had 5assesements and have a health and safety check tomorrow,the social worker made a comment that made me think I may not get custody as I haven’t seen the child in question for 6months(I’ve met him 4times while in mums care)and he’s only one so he obviously don’t remember me and I’m not a blood relative would the judge think the same?as if he don’t come to me he gets adopted and goes to a stranger anyway...

The social worker may not be implying that you are not suitable, probably just that you will need to build a bond with the child given you've rarely seen him (I had to leave employment, making us much worse off financially, but giving my and the child quality time together).
The local authority will do anything in their power to place that child with someone who has links with his birth parents, even if it's in a distant way.

My family are going through similar at the moment and to be Frank they are clutching at straws and have asked me numerous times if I would take on my neice (already guardian of another from same mum) but because I've said no as it's not possible, they are asking if I know of any family friends.

So you will stand a good chance if you have no history of a criminal record (particularly anything related to violence or abuse) and your health assessment is passed.

It is a massive responsibility, one i thought i was prepared for given i already have children myself.

The reality is, my friends walked away from me, I am beholden to my mother who in the beginning promised the earth in terms of support but withdrew that support as and when she seen fit.
Stressed? Not coping? Not sleeping? No one to talk to? Ahhhh, she was too busy to help because she had some decorating to do.
My house is desperate to be decorated (infact my home is nothing like it used to be and I'm ashamed) but the times my mother does help is used to catch up with house work/ time with my other children/ sorting through piles of washing and by the time I get turned around I'm ready for bed!

I get very little sleep, very little money for the child and in actual fact this is soon to get completely withdrawn.
I feel let down hugely by family, friends and services who palm me off with leaflets about how to cope with behaviour.
I feel stupid when people say oh well done, you've done a marvelous thing for the child, angelic- like.
When in actual fact I feel a bit bitter deep down due to how much it impacted my life.

On the plus side,
The child is bright as a button, has a loving and caring nature, has an amazing bond with my 2 children (when they are not quarelling) and has become a huge part of our lives.

If you dont have children already I would say go for it, you will have the time to devote to him, if you do have children, think long and hard.
Also make sure you have lots of support in terms of (decent and steadfast loyal friends) or family to lean on.

I rarely get time with my own now, on a one to one basis, and this breaks my heart.

The whole thing is one big rollercoaster of emotions which has left me feeling frazzled, alone and about 20 years older.

I'm a kinship carer and am now raising a relative (I didn't already have children). It's hard to say really. Certainly, unless the child is currently in a foster-to-adopt home then they would have to move to strangers to be adopted anyway. I think first of all you need to try and set up contact with the child, even if socially-distanced, and make sure you have your requests in writing. Then if you are refused contact you can show it's not because of you. But if/when you go to court it is supposed to be about the child's best interests throughout their life - and as a relative you will be offer that child things, such as access to family history, that no stranger adopter could. There is a reason that they look to friends/family first, and it is not just about the relationship with the child but the relationship you have with the family. Obviously, you will need to be able to show that you can safeguard the child, but I don't think it's a given that you would be rejected based on not having seen the child recently.

Is the local authority supporting your application? You may need independent legal advice.

Hi thanks for the reply’s yes the local authority is supporting me I’ve had a positive dbs a positive health and safety check an assessment about family about past relationships I’ve passed my medical so it’s going to the panel next week then court In July I have another phone call next week but not sure what that one will be for,I have a child if the same age already and financially I’m ok so wouldn’t need support from the la if guardianship was awarded!im really aware of risks and would stick to everything set out in court my minds just in constant overdrive so 🤞for July

The phone call may well just be to keep you updated about the process.

As long as you are sticking to arrangements, safeguarding the child and being transparent throughout then I cant see why you wouldn't be granted the SGO.

Good luck

My biggest concern about special guardianship is that you will get ZERO specialist support that you would if you were an adopter.

I know a foster carer that refused for 10 years to change to special guardianship. She has to fight tooth and nail to get the support the DC needed and they wouldn't have got any (nor respite) if it changed to SG.

The LB is likely emotionally very damaged, and no love isn't enough

The child has been with foster parents for 7 months he’s doing well and no issues as he was removed at the right time he’s only 16months old,I understand coming to mine is going to be unsettling and would have to build a routine but that would come in time I work with children with behaviour difficultys so that’s a challenge I feel I could deal with anyway,no I would break no rules n live over 250miles away from his family and I don’t need financial support from the local authority as I’m financially stable,I would rather guardianship over fostering as I want the child growing up feeling secure on a permanent placement,I went in to the care system and nothing was ever permanent I wouldn’t put another child through that!

It's great that you won't need financial support and I completely get wanting guardianship rather than fostering. It gives you over-riding parental responsibility and means you can offer permanent stability. The child also won't have a million social workers in their life all the time and you can live (as far as anyone does!) like a normal family.

I would say, however, do consider - even if you then reject it - asking for a period of fostering the child before going for Special Guardianship. I understand that the child doesn't currently live with you, and it's a bit of an anomaly (and weakness imo) in the system that whereas children initially go to adopters on a placement order - with the Adoption Order coming later - there is no equivalent of a Placement Order (which ends the 26 week timescale for Care Proceedings) and initial period with SGOs. The situation would be, if applied to adopters, an Adoption Order at the time the child moves in.

The reason I say this is that once the SGO is passed, that's it: your support or lack of has already been agreed. However, if the child lives with you for, say, six months beforehand (or longer), you will know from a more knowledgeable position what support you may or may not need, which you can then get written into the SGO. This can include support with, for example, contact, if this is needed. It's not about lack of comitment. It can be worded as, for example, you don't know how the child will be affected by the move to you (no matter what your relationship with them this can cause grief) and having an initial period means you can access support from the LA. You would also most likely be eligible for their foster carer training too.

If you asked for this, you may meet with resistance as unfortunately the system is already designed against it. Prospective SGs are supposed to know BEFORE a child moves in what support they will need. Unfortunately, there is no equivalent of a Placement Order for SGOs, meaning that it is the SGO itself that ends Care Proceedings. Therefore the timeline pressures of LAs mean they don't want to extend the Interim Care Order and go over 26 weeks, and they're also not supposed to make "short term" Care Orders. Therefore you may have an issue anyway!

But I would recommend seriously considering asking if you could foster the child for at least 6 months so that you can work out what support you will need prior to going for an SGO. We did this, even though we also wanted to go straight for an SGO, and we are glad we did. We are offering a home until 18+ but at least we know what supported need written into the SGO.

I also, funnily enough, went through the Care System, and having social workers in my life is in many ways triggering and extremely difficult!! It's for this reason that we're going for an SGO - so that we can just be a normal family. I have no intention of fostering until 18+. But that initial period has been helpful as it's helped us identify support needs.

It is of course your decision, and I suspect that for timescale, financial and permanence reasons the LA would be happy for you to go straight to SGO! But do think about it at least - it doesn't need to be forever! x

Yes it wasn't about financial support but access to specialist support and entitlements such as number one criteria for school selection etc.

They want SGO as it's cheap! You could push for fostering to adopt perhaps...

@RandomMess

Yes it wasn't about financial support but access to specialist support and entitlements such as number one criteria for school selection etc.

They want SGO as it's cheap! You could push for fostering to adopt perhaps...

That would be worse! At least with an SGO she'd be entitled to assessment for financial support until the child is 18 but with adoption there would be nothing. The assessment OP has had will have been a family and friends assessment, not a fostering or adoption assessment. The only likely recommendations from a F&F assessment are CAO or SGO

It always seems with SS it's working out what is the least worst option, rather than the best 🤬

Heaven forbid the system to be set up to be child centric!!

Special guardianship is child centric. It exists to support children to remain with family and is easier to obtain than adoption.

Thanks all for you advice n general knowledge I’ll discuss a few things you have said when she rings next,little one is currently with his nan as mum was supposed to work with the LA for 6months to work towards getting little one back but she didn’t make the right choices or enough changes for that to happen but the nan can’t care for little one long term so that’s where I decided to step in as I wouldn’t want him to be adopted.the final hearing was scheduled for March but the judge granted an extension for me to do connected persons assessments and medical as and stuff..

All the advice is really appreciated 😊

Good luck with everything! Whether or not you decide to go straight for an SGO, a lot in the future may depend on whether the child is currently looked-after whilst in the care of his/her nan. A post looked-after (ie post foster care) SGO gives eligibility for things such as priority school admissions and Pupil Premium funding in schools, and you can also (at the moment) access the Adoption Support Fund for money for therapy if this is required in the future. If the LA have been involved (which it sounds they are) then they should be looked-after, although it often doesn't work this way in kinship care because of funding reasons... Basically, as perverse as it sounds, it's much better for you and the child (because then you are eligible for more help if necessary) if the child has been in care first, whether whilst with you or with the nan, but in any case immediately prior to the SGO.

I don't know if they still have their phone line during Covid, but it may be worth giving the Family Rights Group on their helpline a ring so you have an idea about what you need to ask the SW about prior to an SGO. They're independent, knowledgeable and free so should be able to help in case there's something one of us has forgotten. I haven't checked that it's still running at the moment, but even if not there's a lot of information on their website too (if you haven't seen it already).