Contact visits

[daffodilsandtulips]

Hi

I'm currently going through the fostering process and really excited to explore this. I think I am being viewed initially as very much suitable and have felt lots of encouragement and support from LA to progress my application. Of course we'll see how it all goes as the in depth assessment starts, very soon they have promised me.

I wondered about visitations between foster children and birth parents. Where does this tend to happen? Is it flexible? I.e can it happen locally to foster carer? I have also heard of contact visits pick up and drop off being done by social workers - does anyone have experience of this?

I'm just reflecting on how I'd manage school drop offs and pick ups, appointments, contact, etc. alongside a moderate health condition which impacts on my energy levels to some extent. I want to be realistic and see the process as me assessing my own suitability for this hugely important role.

Thank you.

I wondered about visitations between foster children and birth parents. Where does this tend to happen? Is it flexible? I.e can it happen locally to foster carer? I have also heard of contact visits pick up and drop off being done by social workers - does anyone have experience of this?

Every situation is slightly different, however the one constant is that it is generally an upsetting experience for the child. Foster carers are often asked to transport the child to contact, which can be some considerable distance. Or sometimes a social worker would do it, or transport could be arranged. Though as it often is upsetting, particularly if the parent does not attend, it is maybe better for the child to have a friendly face on the way home.

I would say most contacts are in a children's centre with either a contact supervisor or a social worker present. Sometimes the foster carers are asked to supervise it. This can be frequent, sometimes a couple of times a week, babies can be every day. For the older child it might be once per school holiday. Although most are in contact centres, sometimes it can be an activity eg bowling.

Another constant is that the foster carers will be the last people to be considered. For instance as a family we often used to have a holiday during half term weeks which were cheaper than the main holiday seasons. But we could never do that if contact was written in stone that it was to be once every holiday.

If the foster child has siblings placed elsewhere, sometimes the contact session involves all the family together. Or perhaps more often the siblings meet seperately, and therefore a half term holiday can revolve totally around contact - especially it you have more than one child placed with you.

Also despite sometimes dramatic and horrible contact sessions that can negatively affect the child, it is difficult for contact to be reduced, or even stopped, because that would often involve going back to court.

I realise this all sounds very negative, and many other foster carers will no doubt tell you of the positive experiences they have had. However, in my experience it's really is quite a negative experience for the child....I mean even if the parents are lovely and the session goes well, the child would also be upset at leaving them. But other parents can be difficult and the children themselves find it difficult.

I wish you luck on your approval.

Thank you so much @cornish009 for such a thorough response. This is such helpful insight and I really appreciate you taking the time.

you will usually know the contact arrangements before accepting a child so if you cant fulfil then you wouldnt accept the child(ren). We turned down a placement because it involved contact with family members 5 weekends in every 6which was madness. On the other hand we had a 7 month placement that had contact 4 times every week (3 weekdays after school and sat morning) because the location of that contact was very close to us. Trust in the process and continue your application.

Thank you @f0stercarer, that's really helpful. I didn't think about that information being shared before I accept a placement. I of course want to be as flexible as possible, and yes if the contact location is nearby, it wouldn't matter how regular it was.

I really want to do this - my application has gone in and I am booked onto upcoming training in a few weeks. I am just waiting for assessment to start now.

I will probably be back again with more questions, but thank you for now :)

Generally contact takes place at somewhere that is accessible for parents, many of whom won't drive or have access to a car, so keeping it local to them is looked on more favourably by the courts. Social workers are unlikely to be able to commit to every contact visit, especially if they are several times per week or month. Contact arrangements are likely to be much less intense at different stages of a child's journey through Foster care, so it may be worth a discussion with your LA about which type of placement might be most conducive with your needs/commitment

Our child has been with us for 8 years so we have had numerous changes to contact.
Their parents live approx 16 miles away and I have always had to do drop off and pick up.
In the beginning it was at a contact centre with a supervisor twice a week. There were times when there was no one to supervise so contact was cancelled. This was very upsetting for both parties.
Eventually Sw accepted that I could supervise and we did this in the contact centre. Further down the line they accepted that we could go out for a supervised visit in the community every school holiday, twice in the summer.
This led to it being a day out, an activity then food. All funded by me.
Fast forward to the present, arranged a meeting for Christmas, parents changed date then failed to appear on the new date.
We haven’t seen them since October.
Sw tried to contact them but made excuses as to why they couldn’t come.
This is just to let you know that contact arrangements can change and it is often out of your hands so you need to be very flexible.