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Fostering

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

Original poster

Can I Foster?

12 replies

Alpacamabags · 10/10/2019 20:39

I work full time as a teacher, husband works part time and have a 4 year old, 2 year old and a dog. I'm in Scotland. Am I being Rose tinted to think we could Foster?
Short term probably? I thought if school age then I could manage around work. I really, really want to help the many children who need it but don't know if this could work. I appreciate I could contact the council to ask but I know that I wouldn't remain impartial and would get carried away.
Any advice is appreciated.

OP posts:
june2007 · 10/10/2019 20:44

Do you have a spare room? I would def look into it. Different agencies may have different threshholds.

Original poster
Alpacamabags · 10/10/2019 20:58

Yes we have a spare room. I do really want to do it and help but I'm so scared I'll get carried away, sign up to it and the end up making things worse for the kids x

OP posts:
London91 · 10/10/2019 21:01

The only issue I think you may have is both you and your partner working. You can be a foster carer and work, however you have to be available for meetings and contact. Unfortunately most jobs don't allow flexibility for that. It could be possible if your partner was willing to foster full-time.

justbeingelle · 10/10/2019 21:02

What an amazing thing to consider doing! I think one of you will probably need to give up work though because it's usually expected that one of the carers are able to always be available.

Passthewipes · 10/10/2019 21:03

No idea if rules are different in Scotland but I looked into fostering a few years ago and couldn't as my DC was too young. They would not allow fostering unless your own DCs are over 5. It's quite a long process though and needs all parties on board. You can still work, but obviously would have to then provide childcare while you are working, which may not be best for young children who are not yet in school and have suffered a trauma or have physical or mental health issues. Even if you can't do it now, don't give up, it's a wonderful thing to want to do xx

namechange4052 · 10/10/2019 21:14

I'm a social worker. You can definitely foster with a child under the age of 5.

There is so much to think about though. What if you have a child placed with you who goes to a school 10 miles from your own DC's school? How will you do 2 school runs at the same time?

Would you be able to cope with the child placed with you potentially often being violent to and in front of your own children?

Can you commit to getting the child to and from specialist appointments, to see their parents up to 5 times a week, to the children's reviews and to school meetings?

stucknoue · 10/10/2019 21:38

Here birth/adopted kids need to be at least 5 unless it's a kinship foster situation. I'm currently going through the process and my work was contacted to confirm the flexibility I claimed (it's a church, they are really in favour). The only issue I've had is that they have said I cannot insist a foster child comes with me to church and they will match me to a child if my religion ... I am thinking of changing to a private agency, I had wanted to go through the council

Original poster
Alpacamabags · 11/10/2019 03:35

Thank you everyone for your replies. Lots to think about and definitely the flexibility is going to be an issue in the immediate future. I will absolutely be doing this further down the line though!

OP posts:
London91 · 11/10/2019 21:34

It's such a rewarding thing if you're able to do it.

Cassimin · 12/10/2019 22:02

I am a foster carer, have been for 8 years. Some may have a different view but there is no way I would recommend fostering to someone with young children. We waited until our youngest was 13.
When a foster child arrives their needs need to come before your own child.
Often if they are very young they will have a lot of contact with their parents. If you were the main carer you would need to leave them to facilitate this or take them with you.
Most children that come into care are traumatised and this will affect your whole family.
Take time to enjoy your own children, there’s plenty of time to foster in the future.

Verily1 · 13/10/2019 09:49

I would make the enquires to your LA as they are all different but weekend respite is probably all you can offer atm.

With foster kids at school age you aren’t free m-f 9-3! They often don’t attend school or attend schools a long way away. There are lots of meetings and appointments during the day. That’s why one person needs to not be working during the day during the week. Who would look after your dcs when the foster carer is doing all this with the foster kids?

MissMarks · 13/10/2019 09:55

I was a foster carer for eight years in Edinburgh- don’t do it. I brought a huge amount of unnecessary trauma into my home and my little girls were negatively effected, my health suffered as did my relationship with husband- and my now adult foster son is now probably no further forward than if he had never been removed in the first place.

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