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Teaching a three-year-old bodily autonamy

1 reply

Mandy12151118 · 03/06/2019 17:37

Mummies of mumsnet, I'm in a bit of a pinch.
Our little one, Emily is learning independence with the help of myself, my mum, and even my grandmum. She loves feeling like a big girl when she prepares herself for the day.
On supervized visits, I've noticed her parents don't really allow her to be her own child. I.e.: She must be in the stroller or carried, even if she is adamant she doesn't want to be held on the playground or the father would carry her down the slide while she kicks and screams that she is not a baby. She's made so many strides towards her idea of being a big girl (toilet training, eating meals, manners, empathy, etc.) I worry about regression due to the environment she may be in.
We teach her she has to ask to touch friends, always use gentle touches when she does, and that when friends say no, she isn't owed a cuddle by them.
But I'm afraid that because her wishes aren't respected with her mummy and daddy that she won't value her own autonomy or the autonomy of peers. Do you think there is something I ought to be doing, or something I could do better?

OP posts:
Mooey89 · 03/06/2019 17:48

Firstly Op, i’ve reported your post because you used her name, I’d worry about that being outing particularly as she’s a LAC.

I think you’re doing a good job. My son struggled with this because when he went to Dads and grandparents they totally babied him. I supposed it’s natural for her parents to do this - they get limited tome with her and have limited understanding of her development possibly - I’m not so sure how it works but could you really emphasise the big girl stuff when you have handover?
‘She’s been working SO HARD choosing her clothes/toilet...’ whatever... just to press that she’s enjoying being a big girl.

I would mention it to her SW too. I’m sure the supervisor has picked it up at contact.

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