Husbands involvement?

[Emma200904]

Hi, I wonder if anyone can help. I am through the initial stages of the fostering process and need to book in for my training. I work full time in a job I have been in for 18 years and I am giving this all up (including the good salary) to foster because I am passionate about helping people and I want a job where I can help people. Fostering has been something I have wanted to do for many years. My husband encouraged me and was happy for me to do this. However without this being explained to us, they have told us that my husband will need to attend the training too. He is in a full time job and doesn't get a lot of holiday time off, so he isn't prepared to lose this time on a career that I am choosing to do. Can anyone explain why my husband has to attend the training and what the training involves please? Will this be the only part of the training he will need to do or will he have to attend all training courses? It looks like I may not be able to proceed.

I’m with an agency and partners are requested to attend at least 2 training sessions per year.
As your husband will be living with the child it is only right that he receives training.
He may be called upon to provide care for the child if you are unavailable at any time.
He also needs to understand the needs of a looked after child, they may have difficulties that are not apparent when they are first placed.
He also needs to understand the importance of safeguarding himself as well as the child.

Thank you for your answer. It's not going to be possible then for me. My husband and I have 5 children, my partner works full time and doesn't get a lot of holiday. Any he gets he saves for spending time with the kids in the holidays and Christmas time. I wish this was made clear at the very beginning :(

There might be weekend or evening training sessions. Also some employees will allow time off for training if you explain its for fostering. We both worked full time when we started fostering and managed to work the training around us. You can only ask.
Good luck

Thank you. It's certainly worth asking! I'll ring them tomorrow to find out about evening or weekend training first. 👍

HI, Good question. For context I am a Registered Manager of an IFA, so unsure if you are applying to a Local Authority or an Agency.
Most fostering providers consider the initial training as important and this is required by the Fostering National Minimum Standards:

13.3) Prospective foster carers are prepared to become foster carers in a way which addresses, and gives practical techniques to manage, the issues they are likely to encounter and identifies the competencies and strengths they have or need to develop.

This is subjective, but many agencies and LA’s use a format of Skills to Foster and this also makes up part of your assessment. If you and your husband had no fostering experience, we would ask for both to come along. It is a great opportunity for you both to consider the importance of the decision you are making and for you to hear the information together. You will meet of prospective carers and this will make up part of your support group going forward. We do offer weekends and evening training, so this may be an option for your agency to consider
.
The organisation should have let you know that you both need to attend.

Going forward, the legislation also consider the fostering household. Under Reg 17 of the Fostering Regulations 2011, your agency will be obliged to offer training, development and support. How they do this is up to each agency, but most will expect your husband to attend. There are other options such as E-learning, but as new carers this is only a stop gap in my view.

Fostering is considered as a profession, so training and development should sit within this to best prepare you and your family in caring for a child who may have witnessed and been victim to severe trauma and abuse.

I hope that helps?
Regards,

Jacob.

Thanks Jacob. I have applied with the local authority in my area. I will speak to them about weekend or evenings, I can now see why he would need to go especially to the initial sessions but as he works full time it is difficult for him to get the time off. Plus we wouldn't be able to afford for him to take it off unpaid as he will be the only one bringing money in. I may consider a job in caring instead, I want to do a job where I am helping people and although fostering is something I've wanted to do for a long time it doesn't look like it is meant to be.
Thanks again for the info.

Rgds

Hi Emma sorry to pick up on this but if you have 5 children at home and a husband who works many hours how would you practically manage to foster

In my LA is either of the partners did not attend ALL of the training sessions then they were not allowed to continue in the process. Maybe other areas are different, but in my area it was a very firm rule.

Would enquire with LA the need for perhaps short break/ respite foster care, am aware there is a need for this in many LA's. Not all children are in care permanent some family's need a break, may be temporary unable too care for the children.
This may help you progress at a slower pace , some children may be better placed with a larger family, We had always a house full dining out and holidaying with up to 8 children . chaotic at times but lots of fun and many memory's. Most still in touch today.

@iwillkeepthishouseclean 4 of my children are teenagers and go to secondary school. My youngest is 3. I didn't see any problems fostering another child. I have a 7 bed house and a 7 seater car already.

@fasparent the LA were unable to offer me anything when I told them my husband was unable to attend the training due to work. They said that if circumstances change to let them know.

Tbh I don’t think you as a family are ready for fostering at the moment.

Just having a spare room isn’t enough.

The whole family have to be 100% on board. It isn’t like just you having a new job.
The main foster carer whetherin a couple or not needs a lot of support in their role. Eg someone to have the child when they attend the endless meetings, someone to drive the child to and from contacts half an hour’s away 3 times a week, which often clashes with other children’s school runs. It would also be expected that your 3 year old is in full time childcare so you are focussed on the foster child.

They are likely to arrive traumatised and this will have an emotional impact on all your family.

You said your DH likes to take a/l at Christmas with the dcs- what if the FC has never had a Christmas or Christmas is what triggers memories of domestic abuse or alcoholism or if the DC is of a different religion- as FC you may have to alter your celebration rituals- think carefully about how this would impact all your family members.

@sarahandduck18 yes I had considered all of this and all of the family were on board. We have a great network of friends and family around us to help if I needed to go to training and for appointments. My 3 year old is in full time childcare, as I currently work full time anyway.
We didn't decide to foster because we simply had a spare room. We looked into what a foster carer does and spent a lot of time considering if it was what we wanted to do. We don't celebrate Christmas and we are not religious but understood that a child in our care may do and we were prepared to accommodate this.

Thanks for passing judgement though.. very helpful!

You specifically said that your dh wanted annual leave at Christmas to spend with his dcs.