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Fostering

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Original poster

Inviting a looked after child to sleep over

14 replies

Buffaloon · 08/09/2018 20:59

Hi, not sure if im in the right topic but thought some of you might be able to advise on this.
Ds age 13 has a friend who has gone into care and has been placed in a childrens home 20 miles away. I was thinking of inviting him for Christmas at our house with a possible overnight stay.

Does anyone know if this is possible?
Also would we need to have checks done?
DH has a past conviction that our children do not know about. We would not want this coming up.

OP posts:

Gillian1980 · 08/09/2018 21:41

It might be possible, I’d approach the child’s SW to ask.

They will need to do background checks probably but should maintain confidentiality around your DH conviction.

SleepyMcEdie · 08/09/2018 21:44

Yes it’s possible. We had a LAC child stay on a sleepover.

shopaholicz · 09/09/2018 14:44

Yes, it's possible.

We foster and we've had one of our placements stay with a friend overnight. I know the SW did background checks first though. SW will ask the child before doing any checks if they want to stay over and you'll have to think in advance about where they will sleep.They will probably do background checks on all of you and any other guests you expect to stay.

You should speak to SW and declare the conviction, that way when it shows up they'll be expecting it. I'm presuming the conviction isn't for anything that would be a safety risk for the child.

pornstarmartinilover · 09/09/2018 14:59

Checks are not always done in this situation now as it sets these children apart from their peers. Usually if it's just a one off or no more than once a month the carers can make a decision just like they would their own children. I as the social worker would suggest talking to the children's parents and speaking to the school to see if they would have any concerns.

heartsease68 · 09/09/2018 15:01

We found that it wasn't. So aggravating!

shopaholicz · 09/09/2018 15:40

As a foster carer I don't have the authority to agree to any overnight stays.....has to be SW

shopaholicz · 09/09/2018 15:41

OP, Buffaloon, said he was in a children's home, so will also have to get their permission

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 09/09/2018 15:46

it's possible but will take ages to get approved.

Onedayy · 09/09/2018 15:49

Yes the required checks would have to be carried out. Also it depends why the child is in care. In the two cases I know of the child would have such needs that they could not go to a friend’s home.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 09/09/2018 15:59

I would try. Hopefully you’ll have enough time to get it approved before Christmas. Good luck.

Notquiteagandt · 09/09/2018 16:08

I remember as a teenager babysitting a neighbors foster daughter. We had home checks done and everyone crb checked etc.

This was just for me to babysit her a couple times for hour or two after school.

So I imagine be simular for a sleepover.

As I was only 15 or so at the time it wasnt in depth or anything I remember feeling imposing etc. More just respecting she was a looked after child. So privicy and keeping her away from mum etc.

Heratnumber7 · 09/09/2018 16:23

DD1's best friend's parents had a foster child that was pally with our DD2.

Both girls came on sleepovers at ours and we hadn't had DBS checks at the time. SW took the view that the parents trusted their own daughter with us, so foster child would be ok. This was 15 years ago though.

JacobMalloy02 · 11/09/2018 10:59

HI, This is an age old question for children in care. The premise should be children should be able to have sleepovers with friends without all the checks. In fact, this is written into legislation:

The Children Act 1989 Guidance and Regulations Volume 4: Fostering Services

This is relevant and worth a read – skip to section 3.9 for DA from the link below

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/274220/Children_Act_1989_fostering_services.pdf

The aim of DA is to "normalise" children's experiences in the care system.

However, every child is in care for their own reasons, so as advised above, a conversation with the foster parents first to see if they have DA and are able to make these decisions. If not, the LASW may need to be contacted. If the young person is 13, they can also make representation to their SW as well.

Hope that helps?

lifetothefull · 14/09/2018 13:24

As a foster carer I can make a decision to let foster daughter have a sleepover somewhere. However, I'm expected to use my own judgement as I would with my birth children.

Therefore, you may have to go through checks, as I imagine you don't have any relationship with the staff at the children's home for them to be able to make that kind of call. They don't know anything about you.

Worth asking early so that they can consider it. It's more likely with plenty of time.

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