Are FC entitled to a life of their own?

[orenisthenewblack]

Or even a couple of hours off every month?

Asking for a friend, honestly. I used to roam this topic a few years back as a FC myself, but my last placement left us 4 yrs ago and we decided we couldn't do it any longer for various reasons. Now my friend is a FC for a LA and has looked after a baby for the past 18 months or so.

The only time she gets to herself is whilst on courses to do with fostering, or when baby has (hit and miss) contact with parents. She doesn't want a weekend respite, but she would like to go swimming once a week for an hour. Every now and again she'd like a night out. Say once every two months from 7.30 (once baby is in bed) until 11.30.

AIBU to think that the SW should support this and offer it to try and avoid her burning out? What are her rights? She's much quieter than I am and doesn't like to ask. I pushed for breaks when I was doing it, and I had a partner at home too. I want her to look after herself too before she's on her knees!

Are you able to signpost me to somewhere that will back up this request? Thanks, appreciate your time.

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I’m coming at it from the position of a parent, not a foster carer, but is it forbidden to use crèches or babysitters?

I used to babysit my friends foster children , in fact the LEA paid them an allowance for babysitters.

I’m not a foster carer but I’m good friends with a wonderful couple who are and they often have wee breaks, even holidays (their eldest is a qualified FC too since last year so that’s why holidays).

SW should be supporting her having a wee break, but they’re unlikely to want to fund it if they’re anything like the SW dept I know of.

Sorry I meant LA not LEA

I though that Foster carers were supposed to take on a parental role and parental responsibilities?

Basically, FC can't sneeze without permission. They take on the parenting role on behalf of LA, but rarely get to make decisions on the child's behalf, such as a haircut, which school to go to, giving calpol as and when needed as you would your own child.
She can't just ask my DD to babysit so she can go out. Everything has to be approved in advance, and no one looks after that child unless the Social Workers say so.

I think SW like my friend cos she's so willing and doesn't rock the boat and I think they're taking advantage of her nature.

Yes they do take on these responsibilities but some SW can be very funny about who you leave the children with.
My SW expects everyone I use, even if it's only for a couple of hours to have a dbs.
Yet we are told that the children should feel the same as others so they can go on sleepovers.
They constantly contradict themselves.
I was once told to ask another care, a carer who they knew were struggling themselves.
Our agency has someone who does support work and takes children out but they keep it very quiet. Your friend should ask her SW.

I don’t see why someone can’t babysit on a regular basis. It’s a baby, not a troubled teenager. She should ask her SW.

No reason not to get a dbs if it’s regular.

I used to foster and was shocked at how FC were treated. One lovely FC couple I knew fostered 2 extremely lively and disturbed boys, despite asking, they were not given any respite, so after 18 months the placement broke down and the boys had further disruption to their lives.

Sometimes it's not regular though.
I had a family party to attend, all of my family and friends were invited so I had no childcare.
I asked my SW for support ( first time in 9 years) to be told they are not a childminding service.

I wonder if it's the same for private fostering service or is it LA that's lacking?

Can't give them calpol without permission?? That's what the delegated authority does. All those examples you used, foster carers are allowed to do under the delegated authority. I foster for my LA and we are expected to use our support networks for childcare as we do our own children.

KatyP1975 is correct - focus on Delegated Authority. There is no reason not to have time out by using sitters or respite carers for the baby. The only exception to this may be if the babies case is in Court Proceedings and it is a complex case.

In regard to DBS checks and further information on DA:

Did you know that Delegated Authority is written into the

The Children Act 1989 Guidance and Regulations Volume 4: Fostering Services

This is relevant and worth a read – skip to section 3.9 for DA from the link below

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/274220/Children_Act_1989_fostering_services.pdf

I would quote this directly to the SW and ask why authority is not delegated as their actions go directly against the law and the spirit of the purpose of DA.