Just starting out and full of questions.

[MadinWales]

We have been planning on starting fostering for a long time now. However, we have finally bitten the bullet and sent out enquiries to quite a few foster agencies to get as much info as we can and hopefully try and decide who we want to go with. We have a 4 year old and a 10 month old. We know we are definitely finished having our own children (I get HG - severe sickness, right through pregnancy and know I can not put my body through another one). I was adopted at the age of 10 after being in and out of foster homes from the age of 3. Being able to give back and help shine some light into the darkness in other childrens lives means the world to me and thankfully my husband is fully supportive and wants to do it as much as me.

Has anyone started fostering with children who are so young? How did you find it? I am a qualified nursery nurse and used to looking after 3-8 children on my own at the same time aged 4 months - 5 years, but I do appreciate that doing it full time will be a challenge.

How did you decide which foster agency to go with? My gut instinct is pushing me towards one agency, but it is only based on a telephone conversation.

What can we do to prepare for the initial house visit and what should we expect?

Anyone look after sibling groups and how do you find it? We have 1 spare room at the moment, but will have 2 after we finish renovating it. I am one of 4 and they are all my real siblings. We were lucky enough to be adopted together, but not so lucky on the fostering side. We were constantly split up and I hated it. I am the oldest and was used to looking after them all, so when they were not with me I panicked about who was looking after them and if they were ok. If I could stop other siblings being split, that would also mean the world to me.

I know there will be lots more that I will want to ask, but can't think of them at the moment. If you got this far, thank you very much.

I am with a private fostering agency whilst I
Am paid more this does mean at times we get children who are more complex and when I have taken single placements they have been mainly teenagers which can be complex.

In saying that I do have great support and u fortunately la social workers at times can have a huge case load and therefore not always available for foster care support.

My children were 6,7 and 13 when I started fostering. Teenagers were initially easier for me as they can look after their own personal care but obviously that can come with some other behaviours.
I presently foster 2 siblings whom are younger and whilst this is more rewarding my children are now older and I have more free time.

I have been fostering for 7 years their are days when I exhausted days when I have thought what have I done days when I have had tears but I.T is the best thing I have ever done and I.T is a privilege to be allowed to help shape people's lives and to be able to support help keep them safe and love them.

Thank you for taking the time to get back to me. My gut is leaning towards a private agency instead of local authority, but at the moment it is based purely on a telephone conversation. The private one was very friendly, chatty, informative and down to earth. The local authority one was very abrupt, matter of fact and off hand, no real connection at all and I got the impression I was just another in a long list of people she had to talk to. I know that it won't be the person I spoke to on the phone that I will have regular contact with. But if there was a problem that I needed to talk through I feel I would get a better response from the private agency than local authority. Am I being silly basing my decision on my telephone experiences with them both?

Hi,

My children were older than yours when we started fostering, 16 and 14 year olds. We initially wanted only teenagers as they were more independent and I was still working full time, so this fit in with our family better at the time. I don't work outside the house any more so can now have younger children.

I've been a foster carer for 10 years in February. We chose a IFA over LA and this was based mostly on the training and support that was offered. Having been with the agency almost 10 years now, I can definitely say they have stood by their word and described it as it was. My advice would be to go with your gut instinct.

Presently we have 2 middle siblings, out of a family of 5. I know the lady who has the 2 youngest siblings and she gets so much less support, training and £ that the differences really stand out.

Good luck with your new "lifestyle".

I forgot to add that
1.your own fostering background should be a massive, massive plus; as is your current childcare experience.
2.usually with an IFA each child has to have their own bedrooms, even under 8s.

1. The initial house check just covers health and safety, size of bedrooms, thoughts and feelings of everyone in the house regards fostering.
2. Each placement is unique, comes with it's own issues and rewards, you can't predict how each will go. Get ready to learn.
3. It's the most rewarding career ever!!

Thank you so much for that info! My gut is still saying IFA. The only doubt in my head has been placed there by LA saying that all children go through them 1st for foster, and it is only the ones they can't find homes for that go to IFA's. This made me panic a little that we might have long gaps with no children. In your 10 years, what has your experience been on this? Are there enough children out there in desperate need to keep all IFA FC's well employed as well?

I have friends who foster for 2 different IFAs and 2 friends who foster for different LAs. We all have gaps between placements, no difference. LA foster carers are filled up first, but they are usually already full, that's why there are so many IFAs out there with lots of foster carers on their books too. LAs still struggle to take children into care sometimes as they have no available spaces in either their own foster carer's homes or with IFAs.

I haven't found any difference in the children any of my friends have had placed with them. When children are brought into care usually little is known about them, so it's sort of pot luck in a way, you can think you're taking one type of placement to find that it's totally different in practice.

IFAs usually have regular recruitment days where you can talk to existing carers about how it works in practice and what their thoughts are. For the IFA you're considering, you could go to their next recruitment event. They usually advertise these online, or will tell you the dates on the phone.

That is very informative. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. Starting out is very daunting, but I am looking forward to getting the ball rolling properly. I am definitely thinking now that ifa is our way forward. We just need to decide 100 % on which one. It is interesting that you said you have friends who are with 2 ifa's. I didn't know that was allowed. I suppose that would reduce gaps. I do appreciate that gaps will happen, and sometimes it is probably a bit of welcome relief, especially after a hard placement. It is probably essential for reconnecting as a family before the next child arrives as well.

Hi Madin,

Sorry, I didn't mean that friends were with 2 IFAs. I meant I had a friend who was with a different IFA to my own, and another friend who works with another different IFA. You can only be with one agency at once.

Your thoughts on placement endings and getting back to normal are correct. Also, if you have multiple placements and one leaves it can be devestating to the placement who is staying with you.

Ah, thank you for clearing that up for me!! Also thank you for the heads up on 2 placements at the same time. I am hoping to have mainly sibling groups, but will think long and hard about having 2 placements at the same time who are not related. I really would not want to cause unnecessary upset to any foster child.