Transition period

[Katyazamo]

I'm going to keep details brief as I am conscious that the foster carer I am talking about may be active on this board!

I am applying to be a kinship carer for my brothers child aged 4. He currently lives in another la in a foster placement (his 5th since being in care for just over a year) he has been there since June.
Assessments have been done and we have backing from social services. We go to panel and court in the next week or so.
We have been having contact with my nephew weekly and recently began having over night contact bringing him to our home one night a week. Following court we have a meeting to plan the transition period of 2 weeks for my nephew coming to live with us.
From what his foster carer says this will involve us driving there daily, watching her routines and copying them under her supervision... is this accurate?? We have had him overnight, he is comfortable with us and will of course have our own routines which will inevitably be different as I have two children already under two.
I'm just conscious that if this is true it will disrupt my own children's routines so much and be difficult to do and I also really don't think it's necessary (but am willing to be told otherwise). Not that I don't feel this transition is important but it's lots of driving and long days for them in an unfamiliar environment.
Basically I am wondering if anyone knows what to expect of this period if you have experience of a similar situation yourself .
Thanks in advance!

The routines are there for you to see what the children are used to and comfortable with.They are not set in stone. They are there to help and guide you and you will end up using some of the foster carers tips but at the end of the day the children will be in your care and you will do things that suit you and your family.

As above but these Re also for your nephew. The idea is that the transition will be easier if has a similar routine, smells, foods, toys etc. Whilst you will obviously having to got these in to your own routines for your children I wouldn't underestimate how this move could effect your nephew in the short term and long term so Trying to keep things familiar can help x

Thank you I know that's important of course I just wanted to prepare myself for what to expect for those two weeks that's all :)

I've only done I.T once and I.T was with a younger child and once we went through the routine I just stayed in the back ground. But was there to answer important questions

Was this in your home or the new families home? And how much time did you spend observing? Sorry for the zillion questions

You can't underestimate the amount of attachment trauma this poor child has been through. Removed from mum and 5 placements in 12 months at only 4 is huge. Routines are a big thing to keep him regulated and feeling safe. Read up on it. It's a massive subject. I'd be going along with it and trying to replicate the routines in the beginning and change them gradually to suit your family when he's more settled with you.. Good luck.

Sorry I don't think my original post was very clear.
I am more than happy to go with the routines as I know it's important, and I plan to do so. My question was more will I be spending two weeks imitating the routine in the carers home as going there daily all day will disrupt my children as they will have to come with me each day. I just wanted to prepare myself for what to expect that's all :)

I feel it's completely unfair to disrupt your own children, the transition can be effective and successful with contact and knowing the routine without too much hassle . I took on a child who had been with a carer for three years and asked the carer what routines they had and when he came to me we were basically told to tell him he was with me now that was past and to do it our way . He has settled down ,he questions things sometimes but at the end if the day you are family. We have later bedtime ,he has more one to one,he is a the only child apart from my autistic son of 20 and has been seen to be thriving doing better at school and developing his own style and his personality is coming out . Before he came to us he was part of a business with a foster carer and now he is treated as family and is settled. Hope it makes sense

Remember to think about your kids too your nephew will thrive on love routine structure and time and there will be issued but you only need to know the basics are her care,we are all different and do things our own way