FfA SW SSW HV FSW

[Laura25o6]

So we have been fostering to adoption now for 6/7 weeks. Had our linking panel last week and they are all happy so awaiting the ADM decision. Then full adoption process will begin.

Just a few things that have been niggling away. I asked for help weeks ago!!

Had Health Visitor come last week and since then I've been placed with a Family Support Worker, lovely as she is I feel this has only happened since HV came. Opened up and told of my struggles and ups n downs etc.

My 2FC are twins aged 3 and have been asking since placement 'can we go to nursery ' I have to be the baddy and say 'not until X gives permission. Now again since HV I've now been told they CAN go nursery after October half term.

Was told they couldn't start nursery until the Adoption order was full and completed and we were their permanent guardians (not the LA, telling us what to do)

Are they taking the piss out of me or am I reading something that's not on the page??

I have needed help since day one of husband going back to work and now weeks have past they decide I NEED HELP!!

SW visits on time and is usually not interested in the concerns then the SSW cancels then turns up unannounced.

Where I live is a nice quiet area, local amenities, bus stand 5 min walk, I don't drive but I'm being asked to take 2FC places I can't get too. Family and friends works and if I'm honest they really haven't been there for me as my support network group. One hasn't even congratulated us on having FC.

Sorry for venting. Thanks for reading xoxo

Are you on Facebook? There is a group UK foster carers which is very helpful and people will be able to help you out.

I have no experience of fostering to adopt so can't help you, but it does sound like you've been put on the back burner.

As for the transport, be upfront and ask for relocation or reimbursement.

Also, don't be too worried about family- often they don't know what to say so don't say anything. They should warm up eventually

@Notthatwittyreally

Hi I'm in all possible groups on Facebook

Think I just wind myself up x

Your not winding yourself up!

You must remember the squeaky wheel gets most oil, nobody is going to swoop in and snatch the babies because you become more insistent on what you need (not even what you want iykwim).

Clarify the nursery in writing (are you getting meeting minutes?) and tell them you can't travel beyond where ever due to you not driving, or if you have to go to somewhere further, get them to group a couple of meetings together x

@Notthatwittyreally

Meeting minutes? What's this?

I will request in writing about nursery for sure.

My two are fantastic kids and even since being placed have come on so much

Sometimes I think am I doing things wrong especially when SW or SSW dismiss my queries. May I ask what you do? X

Thanks for replying xx

I'm in Corporate Admin (snore) But seriously, no matter if you're working with cars, tins of beans or children, time has taught me the experiences are pretty close (always in writing, always upfront) just the outcomes are more serious for you because you have 2 little ones and not 17 land rovers to look after

Hi I'm a foster carer,

I would firstly get an email address of sw and ssw, email everything, any requests for support you need or any thing you would like specific advice on.

Are you getting any adoption support payments to help you with transport, have you asked if there are any other adoptees or foster carers in the area.

Since becoming a foster carer (6 years) my social circle, has changed to mainly foster carers others do not understand the life we live and when things are hard see it as a relationship that you can leave, and not something that can be worked at, or how exhausting it can be at times with traumatised children.